Sexist Promotional Materials - Communications

Will they ever come out with a course entitled Communication Skills for Men? The subtitle could be "How to achieve results without causing conflict and chaos among your dedicated and very competent staff."

I'm not being ugly, but a man MUST have written this course ware. Seriously. The last time I attended one of these seminars "for women" half the registrants were men!

We could all use some guidance here. Stop this nonsense of calling out women as if we are the only ones lacking in communications skills. Men have just as much room for growth in this department. We need just one seminar, "Professional Communication Skills."

Get it? How hard is that?



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Some WTF Moments Traveling to DC

I've been remiss in not posting the photos from last weekend where I spent my time with friends who participated in this year's Marine Corps Marathon. My trip started last Thursday when I bumped into my friend Yvette at the Tallahassee airport. I was like WTF are you doing here? And she was like, no wait...WTF are YOU doing here?

Turns out we were both traveling. She was going to Texas, and I was going to D.C. Funniest thing ever? We were both on the same flight to Tampa where Yvette had a 2 hour lay over, and I had a 4 hour lay over. Is there a better way to spend time with a friend than getting our buzz on before noon?

Drinking Mai Tais & Strawberry Martinis

Okay, so enough of that shit. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, Yvette took off to Texas, and I popped another Oxy in preparation for my flight into D.C. where I would eventually meet up with my other pals from Tallahassee, the ones who were all running as part of team Tim Carlisle, in honor of my late husband. Yes, you should visit the link and see how much his friends raised for their charity, Semper Fi Fund. Here's a video outside the Smithsonian's American History Museum.

Team Tim Carlisle and their families celebrate
after the run on Sunday.

My friends, Lisa and Robert Roddy

Tim's buddy, Garrick. Responsible
for creating the team and raising over
$11,000.00 of their $10,000.00 goal!

Despite the long trip, parts of which I can't even explain (like the 50 foot drop the plane took during a bout of turbulence), I had some "me" moments where I was able to reflect on the past and even ruminate on my future a bit. Where I'd once had fears of eating alone in a restaurant, I was forced to do so while experiencing my first encounter with Vietnamese cuisine. I ordered this stuff called Pho.

When this came, I was like, "Okay, I get it."
Pho fuck's sake! Where's the rest of my food!!

I soon discovered that wasn't all there was to my order. That's just the nasty stuff you're supposed to use to make your meal look more enticing. Wait for it....

Yeah, that's meat floating inside the
soup bowl. It's like some kind of beef
brisket, floating around in hot soup.
I'm not kidding. LOOK at it!

Did I eat it? Yes. I was hungry. Despite the fact that I'm only 5'3" weighing in at 115 pounds, I still do require some sustenance. No worries either, I did not skimp on my caloric intake.

Less calories than an entire bowl
of Fettuccine Alfredo

Nestle Dibs wasn't the only thing I consumed during my alone time. I walked to the local 7 Eleven (yes they still have those in D.C.) and picked up a sugar free Red Bull to drink on my way back to my room, though I did pass a crowd of Mexicans hovered over what looked to be a scratch off lottery ticket.

This is true. I experienced it, so don't call me a racist. I can't help it they were Mexican. I really wish they had been Asian so that I could say they were Asians. But, if they were Asian, they'd have been taking pictures of each other standing in front of the local 7 Eleven and maybe holding up a sugar free Red Bull.

Life's too short not to enjoy one of these.
I bought the sunglasses at the 7 Eleven, too.
Classy? Maybe more like classic.

So anyway, my trip to D.C. was just another journey on my path to making progress. I'm doing me, and me says it's time to celebrate the meaning of life, try new things, experience the freedom of being you, and take an Oxy 45 minutes before you get on an airplane.

Cheers!

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Genre VS Literary Fiction - What's the Difference?

I was asked this question the other day and after thinking about my college years, learning about Ethnic Literature as well as American Literature, I pondered these differences. What I wrote then and what I read now (mostly horror and mystery) are quite different, but not by much. I've read a few debates about genre vs. literary fiction, and I discovered that so many authors get up in arms about their beloved writing, no matter with which group they relate.

Writers love what they produce on the page, like any artist to a canvas. So, it shouldn't be surprising that we defend our artistic pieces. So many critique our styles, our motivations, and our elitist attitudes. That's right, I just called us a bunch of elitists. I state this in a self-deprecating sense though, just to get it out there, in case you're already thinking of me as a literary snob. Yes, I'll admit, I love literary fiction, and I'm happy to share my favorite excerpts.

So, what IS the difference?

Lovers of literary fiction fall deeply with the idea of the work and the internal growth within the characters. They love the experience of reading the work, its beauty and simplicity. The introspection with which the story demands is the most compelling element of literary fiction, aside from its eloquently, flowing cadence.

I cried when I read David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. Why? Because the growth of David, the boy, into David, the man, was a phenomenal read and it touched me. I don't know how else to explain it.

Success, in the eye of the literary author, is experienced by the accumulation of acclaim by other literary types. The motivation is not for monetary gain, but rather the acknowledgement of the beauty within their intellectually stimulating prose.

Lovers of genre fiction enjoy a quick read with twists and plot. They are entertained by conflict and the elements of surprise, which pave the paths of their heros and heroines. Their experience is like a ride in a theme park. The masses love a good mystery or a great horror story. Many even love the romance, paranormal included.

Genre fiction is in high demand and so the number of copies sold and landing on the Best Seller list are indications of success for the genre fiction author, and thus monetary gain being the motivation behind writing. I'm not saying genre authors are not eloquent or compelling, and that they don't love to write, but simply their motivations are different due to a vast audience.

OH EM GHEE, did I just generalize? Yes, I think I did.

Am I adding to the stereotypes of literary snobs and genre rock stars? I hope not. This post was written in order to objectively compare and contrast, briefly, these two fiction types. I couldn't be more broad. Or could I?

Did I leave anything out? Should I have mentioned more about one group or the other?


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What You Never Got For Christmas

Another Christmas has passed, and so in retrospect, I wanted to leave you with my thoughts on gift giving and the meaning of Christmas, at least for me. I've always tried to give gifts I felt challenged my kids and at the same time, kept them interacting with their environments.

When I was a kid, I wanted a microscope. Not the toy ones where you can magnify things up to 5 times. I wanted the one where you can see the bacteria in your spit or the actual construct of a booger. Call me gross, but I had the mind of a future genius. All gone to waste because I didn't get the things I so desperately desired, aside from the Casper mask and other favorite toys. So I’m over-dramatizing.

Anything which inspired me was a no go. No Play Doh for Diane! 

No, she cannot have that paint set, that goop factory, or that chemistry lab. Instead, she can have this Barbie doll and the doll whose hair you pull from a hole at the top of its head to make the strands "grow" or at least appear to.

  

"Look!" My mom would say. "Her hair grew!" 

No, it didn't. You pulled it out from inside her head.

Push the button on her belly or turn the knob on her back, and miraculously the hair disappears into the void from whence it came. I once tried to cut open my doll to see how that worked, but my mom caught me. I recall that horrified look on her face and the several days of concern and careful observation, until she came to realize I wasn't turning into a psychopath.

No matter how messed up and tangled my Barbie's hair ever got, my parents would buy another one the next Christmas, or for my birthday. Wasn't it obvious I didn't care about my dolls? Seriously.

They always ended up at the bottom of the toy box, headless and missing one or more appendages. I didn't do it on purpose. They just got stuck between other toys and when yanked out from underneath, while looking for something more important, this was the resulting evolution of the doll. Not all girls play with Barbie.

I imagine where my life would be today had I gotten the microscope. Instead, I got the Spirograph. Remember that beast? I could never get the pens to fit nicely into most of the holes. And in order to make any of the really cool shapes, you'd spend hours spinning the gear, keeping it from jumping track. All the while, your pen bends profusely just before it snaps in half.

Maybe I've just grown bitter that I didn't get all those other things I so wanted when I was a kid. I could get them for myself today, but I'm too old and not as curious as when I was a kid. Keep those minds fed and those passions of your children aflame. 

If your kids make out a list to Santa which contains a questionable item, be sure it's not an absolute NO before you have a moment to reflect. Why does your child want that particular thing and why is it not something you would consider?

It was too expensive 

(the microscope)

It was too messy 

(the finger-paints)

It was too dangerous 

(the pump BB gun)

It was too risque

(the albino rat snake as a pet -  in Japan, those things were protected by law)

Is there anything you ever wanted for Christmas (or any other occasion) that you never got?

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Racist Intent or Desensitized?

A fellow blogger at the FWA Conference Blog posted an interesting article and my comment to his article grew into a bit of a rant, so rather than post the entire comment on his blog, I decided to share it here and back link to the article. Here's a glimpse:

An author I follow on Facebook posted the other day that she was talking to a middle school group and brought up that one of her novels involved Mexican drug cartels.  Several of the middle schoolers in attendance immediately and forcefully declared her work to be racist. Based on her Facebook post, she reasonably found the experience to be unsettling. 

Read more...

For reference:
       
rac·ist [rey-sist]
noun
1.
a person who believes in racism, the doctrine that a certain human race is superior to any or all others.

adjective
2.
of or like racists or racism: racist policies; racist attitudes.


How does writing a novel involving Mexican drug cartels have anything to do with being racist? If her novel is about Mexican dope dealers selling drugs, smuggling prostitutes, and all other kinds of negative things, it's STILL not racist. So why are we teaching this to our children?

The last thing I would ever do is compromise the integrity of my story by tip toeing around social issues. I think I've mentioned that before. It seems to me the mass media has taken to the role of policing creative inspiration by filling our minds with this nonsense of everything being racist if it is the least bit offensive to any group. I see this more often today than I have ever before.

I guess she could have written about a Japanese drug cartel instead. Only that wouldn't make any sense, because the Yakuza are not as famously recognized in the media as are the Mexican drug cartels. The Yakuza would wipe out any Mexican drug cartel because everyone knows, with over 103,000 members, the Japanese house is, by far, the superior criminal organization.

Now, that's racist. 
         

Personally, I think authors risk more by presenting their characters "out of character" than if they simply tell the story. We've built this wonderful country upon common goals and objectives, yet we came together as people from different cultures and backgrounds, and we're still struggling.

The magic of fiction. I can be whoever I want to be!

Don't you think it's time we embrace Ethnic Literature in the classroom? Let our children read what real authors write about their own culture and people. Let them know it's okay to be different, that our differences are accepted, and it's okay to talk about our differences, our cultures, and our history. The good. The bad. The ugly.

I absolutely loved Ethnic Literature. It was my favorite class in college. I wish I could recall the name of the text book. It was a compilation of short stories by authors of varying cultural backgrounds. I remember stories by Chinese, Italian, African, and Mexican authors, and I was blown away by the unfiltered honesty in the stories they shared about themselves and each other.

I wish people would stop criticizing and start opening their hearts to the dialogue being shared. Get passed the individual shame and embrace humanity as a whole and I believe you will feel less inclined to accuse anyone of being a racist, even if they write fictitious stories about racist characters. At least, that's how I see it. There was a lively discussion about this issue at the end of Stephen King's short story, Herman Wouk Is Still Alive.

I'm not minimizing racism. Racists do exist. Call them out when you see fit, but like the big bad wolf, the boy who cried wolf is out there as well. When he cries wolf too many times, the power of his cry is diminished. People don't hear the cry anymore. It's weakened to the point it's not effective.

Do you think society has been too quick to call things racist or sexist? Is it easier to do that than it is to analyze what's presented before us? As writers, do you find yourselves oppressed and your creative inspirations wilted over the fear of being branded or criticized as was this author?

V is for Voice - You Might Be a Redneck

Of the many writing courses I've taken and articles I've read, one thing they all stress as the quintessential element to master, is the finding of your voice.

To me, this was always confusing because I've been attempting to learn the craft of writing fiction. Shouldn't my individual characters have their own voices? But how do you find your natural voice no matter what it is you are writing? What is voice anyway? It's your written prose minus all those words you think will make you sound important and smart. Forget all that, just be yourself. That's what your readers want to hear.

Voice can be described as how you sound when you write the same story as another writer, but with the words you've grown to know and use in your everyday vocabulary. If you're a singer, it's how differently you sing the National Anthem from the next artist. Think Roseanne Bar vs. Christina Aguilera vs. Steve Tyler. They sing the same words, yet the song takes on a whole new sound.

In the same sense, the writer's voice will introduce a new pitch or tone with word choices, dialect, and timing. Two writers can write the same story, but the read will be different if they have voices which are distinguishable from one another. There are some word choices which make most voices sound the same.

The truly unique voices are devoid of commonalities which make the tone boring or condescending. The writer wanting to sound important or intelligent rather than tell a story or make a point, produces a narrative which is preachy or contrived. That's what happens to us when writing rules are enforced. Maybe that's why they say to not think about the rules of writing when drafting. Write what you want to write. Get it down. That's where your voice will happen.

I witnessed this over the weekend. It wasn’t in a novel or an article on writing. I ran into a classified ad. I immediately discovered, in the simplest terms, the nature of voice. This is who you are, where you came from, and what the world will know as you, without a face. Whether it's you the author, or you the narrator, we hear you. And here's a test on voice. Read the first ad.

I hear Jeff Foxworthy preparing for his yard sale next weekend, “If you put a price tag on them chester drawers. Uh, let me say that properly,” and with a more proper choice of words, he says, “the chest of drawers,” and then back to his original voice, “...you might be a redneck.”

If you enjoyed this, please read my other articles in this past April's A-Z Challenge.

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Writing What You Don't Know

This morning, I discovered an article which prompted a comment from me, but I never finished the comment because it got to be too long for a comment. I decided instead to create this blog entry and link back to the article at the Florida Writers Conference Blog. Chris Hamilton's article reflects on the use of words which are hurtful, yet can be powerful in provoking thought. I think my response went off on a different tangent, and so, rather than detract from his article with my comment, here exists my post for today.

The protagonist in my first attempt at a novel was a lesbian. However, the story wasn't about her being gay, rather her struggle to gain her mother's acceptance was the underlying subplot, all while her best friend's wedding unfolded into a complete disaster.

I shelved it after chapter five simply because I had no clue with how to move forward. It got to a point where I couldn't write anymore because it didn't feel like my story. I think if you're going to write a gay character, especially a protagonist, you need to understand the struggle itself and not make attempts at including the character just to be all inclusive and risk exacerbating stereotypes, which would not have been my intent.

I began to question myself as a fiction writer. Would I be able to write from the perspective of a racist character, or one of royalty? I could make it up, but how convincing would I be and how effective the story? I found myself wanting to explore and write about things I don't know, rather than write about what I know.

When I got to chapter five and started developing the mother/daughter relationship, I discovered the story wasn't about my protagonist needing acceptance; it was about a daughter helplessly struggling for her mother's love and guidance. If you take the fact that the protagonist is gay completely out of the picture, this scenario could apply to anyone. So then I had to ask myself this question. Why did I make my character a lesbian?

Maybe we have these grandiose ideas of telling that deeper story, the profound thing too difficult for ordinary people to express in words. We want to be that artist who exposes the truth and realities of our evil society through the smoke and mirrors of political correctness, and then we, the artist, will provide that redemption to the rest of the world, who will now see through the glorious eyes of their savior. Not really.

You're welcome. That's what we want to say at the end of our stories. When people finally get it, the just and the righteous, when all prejudices have been lifted, when your inner critics have been silenced in your minds, and when you see your fellow humans as yourselves and you cry those tears of joy, know it is our intent to educate.

Why do you want to write the story you've chosen? What drives you? Is there a point you want to make with your story? If there is, let it be genuine, so that it is real and not gratuitous.

Do Asian People See Less?

My good friend, +Brian Workman, over at thegesslar inspired me with this post.

Diversity is a great thing! When you have a diverse group of people who do and love the same things and share a common bond, it is beautiful. Why shouldn't everyone have the same experience with diversity as we fortunate ones who have shed our fears of different cultures and belief systems? Because, they are being educated by those who are ignorant and fearful. I'm not saying it's so bad, but we can fix it.

My friend Brian answered some stereotypical questions which popped up on his Google type ahead for the partial keyword list: do gay people. The suggested choices from Google were interesting, so I decided to do my own question and answer session, representing my folk, Asian people. I'm only a subset, being Japanese. However, I wanted a more general and broad stereotype to deal with. So, here you have my search results and I will answer all of these questions below.

1. Do Asian people see less?

No, we see more. Because of the slant in our eyes, we see everyone as being fat and skewed horizontally.

2. Do Asian people eat dog?

Not in America! Jesus, I hope not. In America, dogs are our domestic pets. We love our dogs! However, in other countries, all different cultures of people eat dog meat, including people in Asian countries. If you were to visit a Korean restaurant, you may find dog meat as an entree, but the meat used in the restaurants are of a particular breed of dog raised for consumption by humans, no different from chickens raised for KFC. You would have to research each country to determine their culture and belief over the consumption of dog meat.

3. Do Asian people eat cat?

See number 2 above.

4. Do Asian people celebrate Christmas? 

It depends on an individual's religious beliefs whether they celebrate Christmas, not their ethnicity. Many Asians practice other religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, etc. However, people in other religions do celebrate Christmas. With widespread commercialism and the prospect of receiving gifts, it is hard NOT to celebrate Christmas.

5. Do Asian people get drunk faster?

An estimated one out of three people in East Asian countries have an alcohol flush reaction, colloquially known as "Asian Glow", a condition where the body metabolizes alcohol nearly 100-times more efficiently into acetaldehyde, a toxic metabolite. Flushing, or blushing, is associated with the erythema (reddening caused by dilation of capillaries) of the face, neck, and shoulder, after consumption of alcohol. In other words, they don't get drunk faster, but they are more likely to have this reaction.

The rate with which a person gets drunk is based on tolerance, not ethnicity. However, differences in tolerance levels are also influenced by socio-economic and cultural difference including diet, average body weight, and patterns of consumption.

6. Do Asian people age well?

God, I hope so! I'm coming up on another 10-year stretch, so thank goodness my eyes have gone first. I try to eat well, exercise, and use plenty of moisturizer. But, hey, we can't stay young forever. Most of the differences you might find in Asian culture, with respect to aging, are skin care and diet. Stay out of the sun and eat plenty of pickled veggies and fish!

7. Do Asian people eat cheese?

If they like it, sure! What kind of cheese? I like Cheddar cheese on my tacos, but I like Swiss with ham. In addition, Mozzarella, not Pepper Jack, belongs in lasagna. Pssh, do Asians like cheese? We like to hear the word when we pull out our cameras. "Say cheese!"

8. Do Asian people have curly hair?

For the most part, Asian people have straight, dark hair. It's part of genetics. However, when mixed with other gene pools, the offspring could likely have curly hair. Nobody is ever happy with how they were originally created. When I was a teenager, I got up every morning and curled my hair for school. Other girls with curly hair would get up every morning and straighten theirs. Who cares about my hair anyway? Is it going to raise my Asian IQ any higher than it already is?

9. Do Asian people tan?

Is this question asking if Asian people participate in the ritual of lying upon a blanket on the beach and exposing themselves to the harmful rays of the sun? Or is it asking if Asian people have skin which will turn a darker shade when exposed to the sun? The answer to the first is, that is an individual decision, not tied to a person's ethnicity. The answer to the second depends. If said Asian had a skin pigmentation disorder, I don't know. I will turn darker when exposed to the sun. I haven't been told that I have any skin pigmentation disorders, so my guess is that I tan and it is normal.

10. Do Asian people have body hair?

We're not born as hairy as the average Neanderthal, but we are born with a certain amount of body hair. Again, this is genetics. When mixed with other gene pools, the likelihood of an Asian offspring having more body hair increases.

I am happy to have dispelled any stereotypes which may (or may not) be out there about Asian people. I don't represent all Asian people, and this post is more based on my own opinion and experience with Asians and their culture, having had more exposure than the average NON Asian. So, if there's anything inaccurate about what I wrote, I don't really care. I'll just have to refer you to Google!

Have you ever had to dispel a stereotype? Was your attempt to educate received well, or has it been your experience people wish to remain ignorant and completely disregard what you say?