These are three things I look for when I read the first few pages of a novel. They are what sets the tempo of the story. If a book doesn't have a fast enough tempo, I put it down. I know that’s sad, but it’s true. The average reader today doesn't have time to read your eloquently crafted prose. They want to cut to the chase. Give me the meat and potatoes; I have a 4:00 meeting.
Doesn’t that sound horrible? So how would you pace things so that I am willing to slow down long enough to enjoy the tempo of your really great novel?
Dialogue
Use dialogue to flesh out your characters. Don’t force them to talk to each other because it’s what you’re “supposed to do”. When they speak, I want to hear their voices and see their faces. You don’t have to describe this in detail, just use the right words.
“What did you expect?” Jack crushed out his cigarette and reached for another.
“From you? A hell of a lot more.” Anne slung her purse over her shoulder and walked out.
Description
If you are the verbose type, spend your energy on description. I love it when I’ve been taken to a tropical island in the Mediterranean or a beautiful mountain top in Vermont. What I hate is when I get excited to be in a place I’ve never been and literally cannot see or experience any of it. I want to see coconuts on 20-foot palms. I want to see snow falling in clumps at the echo of a gunshot blast. I want to smell the ocean and I want to see a mixture of seashells in glass jars on tabletops in a Moroccan café.
There are some descriptions I don’t care for because they have nothing to do with how I experience people or places. What a character looks like isn’t pertinent to me. It’s exasperating when an author feels the need to describe what a character looks like. Beauty is in the eye of the reader. Therefore, I will decide for myself what the hero looks like. I want to imagine the beautiful Princess how I see her. Maybe I think a big nose is more attractive than the cute button nose described.
If I, the reader, am 4 feet tall, maybe I’d feel awkward knowing the hero is 6 foot 5 inches. My goodness! Can you imagine? Use the eight senses in your descriptions and pull me into your scenes. The minute you describe your main character(s), you are excluding me.
Detail
If anything annoys me more than nonsensical dialogue, it’s a lengthy, detailed description when a few words would garner more detail.
Example:
Her knee-length, black skirt fit close to her hips and thighs and her matching blazer, stitched to perfection, formed a professional image of the soon to be first female CEO of Klinco.
The future CEO of Klinco wore her custom tailored black Armani suit.
Do you think anything is lost in the second sentence? Maybe some cadence, but at least it’s telling me the same thing and not slowing me down.
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ReplyDeleteThe only thing worse than complete description of character looks is placing that complete description pages after the character has been introduced. By then, I have already imagined him or her, and I probably like my picture better. :)
Seriously, the two sentences about the CEO's clothing were vastly different for me. The former struck me as highly sexualized -- I had a picture of a buxom, hour-glass figure woman with a tight-fitting, knee length skirt making wide strides impossible, and her boobs flowing out of her tight, professionally tailored blazer. The second sentence created a very different picture, as well as set me up for a very different reading experience.
Just my two cents. As always, you are fun to read!
LOL @ the CEO comments. :) So true.
DeleteYeah, the first example I consider eye candy, but for me a slower read. I'm an instant gratification type, I want to know what's up...NOW. Unless of course, when I'm in the scene smelling the margaritas and feeling the wet sand squishing between my toes. lol
I don't think you'd like my manuscript. No problem, I love your post. Great tips!
ReplyDeleteBut I love your BLOG!! :D
DeleteThanks, Eve.
I really don't like too many details. I want to envision some things for myself. I'll skim right over lengthy paragraphs describing a character or even a place. If the detail is essential for the story and there's a point to telling it, then okay. But still, I only want to know what I NEED to know. Otherwise the pace is sacrificed.
ReplyDeleteStated like a writer who cares about her writing and her readers. :)
DeleteI loved that piece of dialogue you used as an example. It had a lot of depth to it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, magic! Our reader experience is so important to share I think. When we share what we like and dislike, it is my hope that we will change what we get.
DeleteAppreciate the helpful insights here, Diane, and have to agree that pacing is essential to holding the readers attention. Happy writing to ya!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, happy writing! :)
DeleteI'm with you on character description. I like to picture the characters on my own, and take that approach with my writing. I might pick out a key detail here or there that adds to color (hair color, a scar, a tattoo, etc), but for the most part I let the reader build their own image of the character.
ReplyDeleteNice post!
J.W.
Also, there is a way, I think, to make characters stick out more than just their description allows. I once read where someone described their character as a black, African American. I was like ??
DeleteIf you want to make them more descriptive than just a black person, make it stick with the reader and make them stand out: He was blacker than wet charcoal.
Now, that's vivid and I believe this character would be one I'd like to read more about.
Great post! I always like great and sharp dialogue, and I like some description but don't like to see it overdone. I do like to imagine it. You make a great point about the dialogue having the right words to conjure up the correct image for the reader. Thanks for informing and reminding. Take care!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lena! When I put down a book, I want it to feel like I just got off vacation. :)
DeleteI tend to go for efficiency when I'm describing things or appearance, just trying to go for the basics.
ReplyDeleteAs to dialogue, I think it has to serve the character and the story. I've found myself profoundly annoyed by a writer in one genre I read who loves nothing more than to have all of his characters parroting himself. He has no idea to give them their distinctive voice.
Great point, William! I've run into that before. I read several passages from the same author and I can't help but wonder if they meant to change it up a bit because now it's a different character.
DeleteHi Diane,
ReplyDeleteI once got harassed by other writers because I didn't describe what my characters looked like. Of course, that's when I was writing screenplays. I do describe what my characters look like and a little about what they're wearing. Since my stories move at a quick tempo, most of the time, because comedy works best when it's lively, I don't worry too much about details. I probably don't include enough details.
I do know what you mean. I took a playwrighting class in college when I was 22 and there was a woman in the class who piled on the description and never got to the point of her play. The other students and I snickered behind this woman's back. Cruel,I know, but I think I paid off that cruelty debt since writing is a humble experience.
Oh my goodness! Moon, yes, writing progress is a very humbling experience, especially when you share your work with others. I would like to experience a screenplay class. I bet that was a fun class.
DeleteIt was many years before I even talked about my writing interest, even more before I shared my goals in taking it further into fiction.
I think screenplay character details should be left to the casting directors, but for the most part, I would think they'd feel the same as the reader. We want to read the story and decide based on personality and attitude, who is best cast in this role. For a screenplay, I think it is more important leaving out the descriptions. Just my own opinion.
I'm a little less patient with description. It has to be necessary to the plot line (read a book called the Ritual where these character were lost in the woods. Description made it). But I get so turned off by over done description!
ReplyDeleteGood dialogue can't be so important though. Not idle chit chat either. Meaningful dialogue that either establishes the character's personality or relationship or drives the plot line
When revising chapters, I'll cut dialogue if it doesn't flesh out my characters or it doesn't move the plot along. Idol chit chat is a deal breaker. lol
DeleteI agree with you on this. You need to draw readers in from the first page and meaningless dialogue is not the way to go. Nice post. Loved your description.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ednah! I always appreciate the feedback.
DeleteI totally agree. I tried to read "Clan of the Cave Bear" and the description went on and on and on. I think it took longer to read the book then the Ice Age actually lasted!
ReplyDeleteToo funny!
DeleteThe only person I'd forgive for going on and on with description is Edgar Alan Poe.
:D