Friday, May 15, 2015

Blast From The Past - The Anti-Social Teenager

I knew one day my baby girl would turn into an intelligent and demure young lady. I had no doubt. So, when she found some old photos, documents, and other such treasures a few days ago, I felt it would be great to share them on my blog.

The first little gold nugget is a weekly progress worksheet from middle school. Little doubt here that Chelsey got her sense of worthiness from her mama. She and I have certainly outgrown our anti-social perspectives, but just so you know, our intentions have always been good ones.

I love this girl's bold sense of humor. I can say this now, but I think I was horrified back then.  :)


All great advice. From the teacher, too!



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Saturday, May 9, 2015

There Was A Spider In My Car

I'm not certain how many of you are aware of my fear of spiders. This fear is plenty greater than my fear of death, and from what happened today, I've come to realize that phobias cannot be defeated with rational calm logic. I know this. It's a fact. Don't lecture me either. Not after I'd tried to put on a brave front. I really did!




Driving in your car doing 60 miles per hour is not the place to encounter things which freak you out, but there it was. It emerged from the bottom shadow of the speedometer. Though it wasn't a huge spider, it was large enough its sudden movement caught my eye. First instinct was to release the stirring wheel because my hands were the closest to it. I couldn't do it. I knew the minute I moved, that sucker would jump on me and I'd have a heart attack, taking out the two cars beside me and the one in back.

I remained calm though. I knew I could handle this situation like an adult. I just needed to find something I could use to kill it. As messy as my car had been, I couldn't even find one napkin. But I did find a plastic straw sticking out of a Styrofoam cup. Perfect!

I reached over and pulled the straw out of the plastic lid. The spider had crouched up against the casing of the speedometer, but I could see his entire brown body against the black panel of my dashboard. I darted my eyes back to my windshield to monitor the traffic. More as a gauge to determine the most opportune moment to stab at and impale the spider. At least that was my intention. But I overestimated the size of the thing.

I have to give myself credit though. I was a great aim! I managed to encase the entire spider safely within the opening of the clear plastic tube just long enough to register it was darting up and skittering quickly toward the other end, the end I was still holding on to! I managed to fling the straw away but not before blaring horns and screeching tires told me I'd completely lost control of my car.

I pulled over to the side of the road and sprung from my car, wiping my arms really hard, trying to brush away the creepy feeling that had washed over me. Another honk. Fuck off! People are so insensitive.




I'm telling you. You cannot cure phobias! You cannot suppress these fears. They live in your genes. Can you even comprehend this?

GAH! I'm getting the creeps just writing about it!

Do you have a phobia? Please share so I don't feel like such a basket-case.


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Monday, May 4, 2015

The Last of Us - Newbie ALERT!

At the end of my first semester at Purdue, I decided to reward myself with the new PS4 500GB The Last of Us Remastered Bundle. For all you non-gamers out there, it's the latest in a series of competing console gaming systems feeding the zombie craze.

What did I do with my last weekend of the semester? I wasted 4 hours of my life mastering the demise of the newbie zombie slayer. One can't just simply go to school, make good grades, and never achieve anything more of significant value, right?

After attaining my newest checkpoint: this is the point in the game where you will return when you die or become disconnected during game play. In newbie terms, this is where you will spend a lot of your time.

You can sit here and ponder what will kill you next, or you can move forward in the game, get killed, and ponder what happened after the fact. Either way, the goal is to get to the next checkpoint without dying so much that the game play isn't any fun. But don't delude yourself. You WILL die.

One of the many things you will learn as a newbie zombie slayer is how to be a forward thinker. This is a skill which we all need to master and it comes with experience, some pretty painful ones. It's why we don't make the same mistakes twice (most of the time). It's a shame I have to relearn this while playing a game which takes place in a zombie infested world of non-thinkers on a mindless quest for brains. Wait, that sounds too much like reality. Where have I seen this before?

One thing to keep in mind is not to shoot at everything you think might be out to get you. My big mistake was popping off the only 6 rounds I had into an NPC needing my help. I should have realized shooting him was a moot point when the first round did not achieve any significant change in my environment, and the man maintained this cool steady gaze while pleading for help, "Please, help me..."

How ironic I kept hearing those same words screaming in my head, realizing there were zombies close by and I was out of ammunition. Time to learn some new combat skills! It takes a sick mind to develop these games.

Sneaking up on a zombie can be a lot of fun. Your adrenaline is pumping and they can't see you. I found one standing in a room, completely unaware of my presence because I had stealth mode activated. It thrilled me to strangle it with my bare hands and loot ammo from its decaying body! My ego was severely deflated however, when shortly afterward, I attempted to sneak up on two more zombies as they fed hungrily on human flesh. Stealth mode suddenly deactivated and I realized, as they began feeding upon me, I had not reloaded my weapon with the ammunition I had acquired from my latest kill. Hell, I wasn't even holding a gun.

Why would I be holding a gun anyway? I was gonna surprise attack and strangle the mother fuckers, so my hands had to be free, right? And remember this, when you're strangling one zombie, the others aren't going to stand around and wait for you to finish. Bon app├ętit!

Moral of story?


  1. Just because you successfully strangled one zombie, does not mean every attempt at killing a zombie should be with your bare hands. 
  2. When you acquire ammunition, coincidentally when you really needed it, use it, because you probably really need it.
  3. The stealthy sneak attack is pretty cool, but it's totally uncool when you are doing it wrong.


Coming soon! More zombie gaming tips for newbies.





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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Z is for Zealot

I feel so stupid for choosing this word. At this very moment, I wonder what the hell was going through my mind when I decided to use zealot in any stream of consciousness exercise. Oh wait, because nobody offered a Z word that I could use instead!



I'm not a zealot about anything. I'm not religious or politically fanatical. I don't even have a favorite candidate running in 2016. I'm not to the point where I want to vote for a woman to take the highest office of Presidency in our United States of America just because she's a woman, or because people think since we gave that opportunity to a black man already, it's now the woman's turn. That's just stupid.

[snipped like 3 pages of stuff that might have gotten me fired, arrested by the secret service, or mobbed in the middle of the night by Hillary sympathizers]

You know what? I just realized I'm probably a zealot and it's not something I should be publishing. :)

I thank you all for putting up with my A-Z Challenge and I've enjoyed the experience. This has been a great exercise for me, freeing my mind and allowing me to share what's been in my heart during some pretty dark moments. Thanks for hanging in there with me. You all rock! I am forever blessed to have you as my sounding board.


My List
Aging (and Apples)
Barnacle
Creativity
Destiny 
Ego 
Forgiveness 
Grace
Haters
IHOP 
Jealousy 
Kindness 
Lesbian 
Magnanimous 
Nostalgia
Oxymoron 
Pizza 
Questions 
Resource 
Serendipity 
Technology 
Undergraduate
Virgin 
Writing
XXX 
Yoga 

Zealot - You are here


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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Y is for Yoga

I picked yoga as one of the topics on my list this year because it's one thing I decided I would stick to as part of my Sunday routine. I even went out and bought a Beginning Yoga DVD, a yoga mat and block, some yoga workout clothing, and an audio CD with sounds of soothing chimes and wind-instrument background compilations. I'm ready!

But I like going to the gym, so I haven't used my DVD or the CD. The yoga instructor at the YMCA provides all that. I also don't wear my yoga workout clothing because I think I would look silly wearing all that legit stuff while in a beginning yoga class. Who am I kidding right? I don't deserve to wear all that cool gear. At least not yet. I'll wait until I've mastered the Tree Stance with the grace of Aphrodite.

So this leaves the yoga mat and block. I could use the ones provided by the gym, but I have to put myself at least one notch over the newbies who never been before. After all, I have done this once or twice. I just haven't gone every Sunday. I've been busy writing papers and compiling presentations, so I had an excuse. And then I was out of town the once, and last week was the writers conference.

I think I'm starting to see a pattern here.


My List
Aging (and Apples)
Barnacle
Creativity
Destiny 
Ego 
Forgiveness 
Grace
Haters
IHOP 
Jealousy 
Kindness 
Lesbian 
Magnanimous 
Nostalgia
Oxymoron 
Pizza 
Questions 
Resource 
Serendipity 
Technology 
Undergraduate
Virgin 
Writing
XXX 
Yoga  - You are HERE


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