23 March 2011

I'm Boycotting Bill Maher

I don't agree with many of Sarah Palin's views, some maybe, certainly not all. But I sure as hell admire the woman for putting herself out there knowing that scum like Bill Maher will try and demonize her the way he did by calling her a "dumb twat".

Bill, I won't refer to you as any body part, but how about this? The next time you run your mouth about another woman that you can't stand, do us all a huge favor and put a giant condom over your head so you don't spread that nasty disease that you're carrying. It's called pure ugliness. I hope someone finds a cure for you.

When Bill got wind of this post, he wasn't very happy. Here's what he sent me:

Wow, Bill. I thought you had more class than that. You've proven me wrong.

12 March 2011

The Burger King Value Meal Scam

So, when you order off the value menu at Burger King you must pay $.01 extra. Why? If you advertise something as being a “value” meal, isn’t that misleading when it costs more to purchase the “value” meal than if you just ordered everything individually?

Indicated on the menu for the individual items:

Double Stacker $2.00
Medium Fries $1.99
Medium Drink $1.89

Here’s my receipt. I think I can do the math here, taxes and all:

I put a red box around the phone number on the receipt just so you know, don’t bother calling that number because you have to be “invited” to make that call. You have to have an “invitation” code in order to take their “satisfaction survey”. They need to get a programmer to change this, take this phone number off the receipt and ONLY print it on the piece of paper that spits out the “invitation” code. You know?

I’ll get back to the word “value” now. Where is this added value? I think Burger King receives value in it, of course, because they get an extra $.01. With this extra $.01 they steal from their customers, they are that much closer to reaching their ROI for the user-friendly cash registers they purchase so they can cut back on the “training” time it takes to show the new guy how to operate something slightly more complex, their brain.

Next time I go to Burger King I’m NOT going to order the #11; I’m going to order a Double Stacker and when they ask me if I want the value meal I’m going to say, “No, but give me a medium order of fries and a medium diet coke.”

I can’t wait to hear, “Ma’am that would make it a value meal.” I’m just that ready to be a bitch about it.

10 March 2011

Winning, duh

I don't think seeing my work in print is a big deal to me. I would rather have one person really love what I wrote, that one person being me, rather than many who purchased it and thought it was just okay.

I used a publishing tool once to build a PDF of one of my stories: in Times New Roman 12-point font, double-spaced with one-inch margins. I was like, "Cool, looks like the same kind of writing in books I've purchased." Then I thought how awful it must be to have an editing job, hoping that your slush pile readers are sending you something really juicy...only to discover it's another one of THOSE stories! The horror of it all, not only does it read like all others, it LOOKS like a standard manuscript....ARRRRGH! Somebody shoot me, NOW.

All joking aside, it would be nice to become a published author some day, but I have a full-time job and a family that consume almost all of my time. The time and effort required to polish a piece of work for submission would be strenuous, which is the one thing I try to avoid. Even if I did all that work, a rejection would be like throwing salt into an open wound.

That's why I blog instead. I promise I won't create a Charlie Sheen "winning" entry for entertainment. I’ll post a video instead.


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