12 December 2012

10 Stupid Things To Do Before The Mayapocalypse


This month's prompt at Absolute Write:
The End (of the World)

Yes, since the predicted Mayapocalypse only fails to materialize once every 500 years or so we are piggybacking on it. Write what you will about the end of the world (those disinclined to eschatology can write about "the end" in a broader sense). Hopefully, after these ends of the world as we know it, we'll all feel fine.

Here is my month's contribution. I'm going to list for you the top 10 stupid things you can do when you realize the world is ending. It's up to you, though. I've been reading people's lists, and these seem to be top items for many, but you know what? No matter how popular they are, they're still stupid. Here's why!


10. Sell your house! You can't take it with you. Though, some non-believer will be happy to buy it from you "dirt cheap".

9. Sell your car! Why not? See #10!

8. Give all your money away to charities. It's what you should have been doing all along so the government wouldn't take it away and do it for you!

7. Go on a crime spree. If the world doesn't end, and since you've sold your house, you'll at least have a home at the local prison.

6. Join a church and start prayers. God already knows you're a non-believer, so if you do this because it's the end of the world, you're just going to piss Him off.

5. Go wing suit flying! Projectiling into the side of a mountain like a bug on a windshield can't be nearly as painful as being nuked and evaporating off the face of the earth.

4. Confess your love to your crush. There's nothing like the feeling that you never had a chance, only to be struck by the knowledge that you never had a chance when she tells you she's not interested.

3. Gorge yourself, hoard all that food! Then when the world doesn't end, you can (again) blame your weight gain on something other than yourself.

2. Run naked through the streets declaring God loves everyone. What a great way to alert all those folks on crime sprees that it's open season for rape and sodomy.

1. Invest in yellow contacts and tattoo your face red with two horns on your forehead. Whether you wind up in heaven or hell, it should make for an interesting conversation with your host!



Participants and posts:

orion_mk3  (link to post)
dolores haze  (link to post)
randi.lee  (link to post)
writingismypassion  (link to post)
bmadsen  (link to post)
Ralph Pines  (link to post)
AllieKat  (link to post)
MsLaylaCakes  (link to post)
katci13  (link to post)
Angyl78  (link to post)
pyrosama  (YOU ARE HERE)
Araenvo  (link to post)
CJ Michaels  (link to post)
SuzanneSeese  (link to post)
BBBurke  (link to post)
gell214  (link to post)

SRHowen  (link to post)
meowzbark  (link to post)
Ahe├»la  (link to post)






30 comments:

  1. LOL, Diane. Great list.

    All I have to say is the world can't end. I have two books coming out in January! ;)

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    1. All those who inherit from those who give up can still buy your books! :D I plan to be one of those left behind.

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  2. Ha ha ha ha ha, I love your list!!! Ha ha ha...especially the crime spree and junk food gorging thing. I'd gain 20 pounds over reeces pieces in a heartbeat. :)

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    1. I'd be the one buying up all the cheap houses and cars!! :D

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  3. I'm gonna go with #3. *rips open choccy bar*

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  4. Hehehehehehe. I wonder how many crazies ARE going to do something stupid before the 21st...

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    1. I'll do something really crazy...wait for it...I'll do my hair different!

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  5. There's something about the world ending that brings out a lot of stupid. Me, I'll lock up my house and take shelter inside while watching all the crazies running down the street. Hey, where's the popcorn?

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  6. How about give away all your pets or let them run free....

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    1. OMG, please don't give my husband any ideas. He'd jump at the chance to open the front door and welcome the escape of our 3 dogs! lol

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  7. Funny! Yes, go #4!!! At least then it'll feel like the end of the world.

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  8. If movies about the apocalypse have taught us nothing else, and they haven't, it's that you should stick as close as possible to the most famous actor in your immediate vicinity to try and benefit from the protection of his character shield.

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    1. And that the first person to die in your group is either the black dude, the Asian chick or the butch lesbian. It's never the white dude. True story!

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  9. Haha, great theme for the post this month. Honestly I don't buy into the apocalypse, but I do worry some crazy might try to use the date to try and bring about some terrible event. I hope that doesn't happen, but with terrorists, who knows.

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    1. Or just crazy people not caring and going mass murder and suicide. It's a sad couple of days, but I hope it's not an epidemic. :(

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  10. OMG these are Funny, especially liked numbers 7, 4, 2.....Liked what you did with this, Diane :) Am scrolling up to read your latest.

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    1. Hahah, A! I liked how 7 and 2 kind of go together. It was totally by accident and I didn't realize I'd done it. Maybe #2 should have been the last one. :)

      Thanks!

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  11. Does going on a crime spree include a heist of three Vegas casinos?

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  12. Great list. I'd be very entertained to just sit back and watch everyone else following it.

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    1. I've done this on several occasions, just watch. That's why this is 10 stupid things rather than 5! It used to be a set number of things, now people are doing more stupid things. Hahah!!!

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  13. That was hilarious. I laughed out loud at #1. Clever idea for the prompt. Great work!

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