23 December 2016

Memorializing Maggie R.I.P

Maggie's favorite napping position
I am  so sad to say that Maggie has passed away. On Friday, I took her to the emergency hospital at the advice of our family veterinarian. My 13-year-old English bulldog had a prolapse or hyperplasia. Whichever it was, she had her insides hanging out of her vagina. It was very scary, so I won't bother with visuals.

The vet on duty recommended Maggie get spayed in order to decrease her estrogen levels. The following Monday, she underwent surgery and I brought her home. She was very groggy, but she came out of the anesthesia the next morning. After walking around the house a bit, she went back to sleep and didn't wake up.

It's tough to lose a member of the family at this time of year. Here are some of our previous Christmas photos.

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2014

Christmas Eve 2015

A very young Chelsey and Tenay. Maggie at a year old.

Maggie let the new puppy climb all over her (2016)

Maggie had the patience of a Saint! (2016)

New puppies are super exhausting. (2016)

She always loved a great butt scratch! (circa 2011)

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13 December 2016

Creepy Elf on the Shelf - Don't Do This!!

This is not a rant. I only have a few words to share. It's about this elf on the shelf motif used to get children involved in the spirit of Christmas. You know, the idea that Santa Claus is watching them so they better be good or else they won't get any presents? Yeah, that elf is a spy.

Some responsible parents like to get creative and spice it up here and there to keep there kids excited. I can imagine the awe in children as they discover the family elf has met a new friend and invited them over. Or maybe the family elf has decided to explore other areas of the home. After all, staying on the shelf in one position is just boring. This isn't an option in a family home where the parents are far from boring people, right? We can't have that!

Creative and well intentioned trends start off as simple competitions. I get that. But social media will be there to taunt folks into stepping it up a notch. Then we run into some serious issues. And you wonder why your millennial needs therapy.

Here are my ten inappropriate elf on the shelf displays and the reasons why I think they are inappropriate.

You think you're clever now, but one day they will be old enough to watch American Pie and they will never visit you again during the Christmas holidays. The grand kids will be off limits.

You would be better off to have the family elf kill off a giant stuffed spider or some other creepy victim. Never Elmo or any Sesame Street character for that matter. This is absolutely inappropriate. 

You know there is absolutely nothing wrong with this display, except for the fact that the family elf is capturing the scene for his own sick pleasure, further teaching your children that the objectification of young girls is okay. So inappropriate!

After the last three displays I shared, do you see how this is inappropriate?  

The family elf teams up with the infamous bad boy, Chucky. Together, they encourage children to commit cannibalism. Yes, Frosty the snowman came alive you ignoramus!

And you wonder why your kids seem to think everything belongs in the toilet. This, exactly this. Congratulations.

Suddenly little Johnny has stopped brushing his teeth? You don't say! Now he's a teenager and smells like shit all the time. You know they learn poor hygiene somewhere, right? Gee, I wonder where.

I'm all for encouraging kids to earn an allowance so they can buy themselves the things they want. But the family elf is sitting on a jar of baby food, so I think the kids are a little young for parents to start indoctrinating them into this sordid thing. They need to be old enough to actually work for their allowance, don't you think?

How to be Classy 101. Because a wine glass is commonly displayed with a roll of toilet paper and a can of Glade air freshener. The kid who grows up in this household is going to be a true romantic, I can almost guarantee it. 

Because breaking the law is so inappropriate. I don't know that this household has any children in it, but I'm guessing they didn't just go out and purchase a Barbie doll because this was just such a cool idea they had to spend upwards of $30.00 for that perfect display. No, they have children. And yes, this is inappropriate.

If you don't want to traumatize your kids, now or in the future, stay away from inappropriate displays with your family elf! Yes, kids are resilient. But they have memories like you wouldn't believe.

Do any of you have a favorite elf on the shelf display? Please share them in the comments below. I won't get onto you if it's inappropriate. There are no small children out here in the Blogosphere! 👀

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08 December 2016

More English Bulldog Photos - Macey!!

I couldn't resist!

Power puppy on couch

What happened to all the power?

She knows she's not allowed to touch the decor.

But she does it anyway!

Merry Christmas!  Or, Happy Holidays! Whichever pertains. Just be safe out there.


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