09 June 2012

Combat The Roaches - World at War

It’s time for June's Absolute Write monthly blog chain. The theme is “Weird Worlds” and so I give you a creative non-fiction piece dedicated to one of the longest living species in our modern day world. I introduce this piece for the weird worlds theme.

World at War - Cockroaches 


Roaches are fascinating creatures, not only because they've lived for billions of years, but because they have perfected the process of infestation. They invade the sanctity of your home with their filth, seeking water sources and leeching food from any crack or crevice they can find. The only purpose they serve is to multiply their army in order to fuel their survival in your space, the same space where you bathe, eat, and sleep.

Their presence destroys all comforts you enjoy in your home. They are worse than your in-laws. Extended family will eventually leave, but these creatures will grow their colony and destroy you and your peace of mind.

They crawl around in their protective gear while infecting the surfaces of your appliances and countertops with their disease causing dander. Forget that you spend countless hours cleaning and disinfecting your home. They scurry about in the dark, undetected, so they may flourish in numbers.

They leave their droppings behind as if to alert their comrades of the paths to food and water once the lights go out. Leave it to these lower forms of life to find those intricate areas key to their survival.

They lurk behind appliances, antennae whisking about as if sniffing the air for signs of sustenance. Not only have they invaded your home, when you turn on the lights to confront them, they quickly gather their comrades, small and large, and flee to their bunkers deep within your walls. You don’t feel safe anymore. Your security has been breached by this uncanny assault.

You don't want to destroy your home, so the weapons of choice are roach mines. You leave them in various locations close to areas where you suspect they have taken cover. When the lights go out, the greedy crawlers will seek out these disguised sources of food. They are unaware it is actually poison… the dumbasses. Intellect isn't what's kept them flourishing for many years.

Soon you start to feel safe again because you stop seeing them. You get this feeling you beat them...you won. The army shrinks quickly because roaches are cannibals that eat their own dead, even poisoned ones. The poison remains in the carcasses so then the cannibalism creates this domino effect and they die off by the hundreds.

Two months later, after no more sightings, you walk into your pristine kitchen in search of some fresh fruit and a glass of milk. From your peripheral view, a quick movement on your countertop reveals the emergence of one of their beady-eyed scouts. This makes you want to spoon-feed it some liquid poison and wait five minutes until it twitches its way onto its back, fluttering its legs about in a desperate attempt to expel the poison from its body.

Now you must destroy your home. You haven't won at all. Time to break out the weapons of mass destruction…the roach bombs. Get ready to obliterate the enemy, but be equally prepared to leave your home for hours while the lethal chemicals dissipate.

Later, you will discover every inch of your home covered in a film of noxious residue which needs to be cleaned and disinfected. Then you wonder how many days you will wait to do it all over again because of the roach eggs left behind…they will eventually hatch and grow yet another army.



Please visit these other participating bloggers and their "weird world" entries:

dclary (comic) - (link to this month's image)
orion_mk3 - (link to this month's post)
Proach - (link to this month's post)
pyrosama - (YOU ARE HERE)
areteus - (link to this month's post)
MelodySRV - (link to this month's post)
Diana_Rajchel - (link to this month's post)
writingismypassion - (link to this month's post)
randi.lee - (link to this month's post)
magicmint - (link to this month's post)
AFord - (link to this month's post)
Sweetwheat - (link to this month's post)
Nick Rolynd - (link to this month's post)
Viclit (link to this month's post)
dclary (blog) - (link to this month's post)

26 comments:

  1. Scary, creepy, gross--yet well written. Nice work.

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  2. Thanks for ruining my life with too much information. Just kidding. :)

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    1. But now you have info if ever you encounter such a revolution! :D

      Thanks for stopping by, Eve!

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  3. I can't deal with cockroaches. Can't. Can't. Can't.

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    1. Think Fear Factor! :)

      Imagine those kids hanging upside down by their feet and hundreds of these critters are unleashed upon them, crawling frantically through their clothing, trying to escape harm. :O

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  4. Super creepster but at the same time very entertaining! You always come up with the most original things. Great job!!!

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    1. I love the challenges because they get me thinking! :D

      Thank you, randi! You always have feedback which makes me inspired to push through the challenges! :D

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    1. One day you might, so please remember these points! :)

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  6. Very interesting post, Diane. I love the war analogies.

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    1. Oh trust me, I so much as see a bug, I break out the heavy artillery. I promise you!

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    2. Lol:) I do the same, mostly when it comes to spiders. Those tiny, eight legged, web-spinning creatures give me the creeps.

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  7. Reminds me of my first apartment when I moved to Minneapolis. I looked at the place during the day and it looked nice so I rented it. Then at night roaches came out of the woodwork! It was a nightmare!

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    1. I visited a friend's house once years ago and they were not phased by these uncanny visitors. The things were right at home, even in the day light!

      Here in Tallahassee, when you go into a rental, you know they bombed the heck out of it because these offensive bugs lay around (dead on their backs) to welcome prospective renters. lol

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  8. Yuck! So true. Roaches are disgusting little pests, and you almost need an army of your own to take them out.

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  9. Great innovative take on this month's theme! Roaches are alien!

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  10. The irony is that, as gross as roaches are (and I stomp the nasty buggers anytime I get the chance) they are nowhere near as dangerous as lowly mosquitos, blackflies, and ticks when it comes to spreading diseases. By the admittedly low standards of arthropods, they're actually pretty clean.

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  11. Hahaha @ your winsome wit (eventually in-laws will leave, but not these pesky guys)classic! Another great read, Diane. Keep 'em coming--cheers!

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  12. Thanks all! I'll be back from my vacation tomorrow evening. I need to update my links!!

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  13. I believe it was JBS Haldane (famous biologist) who, on being asked what question he would put to God when he met him said that he would ask why he had such a fondness for beetles...

    It is true that insects are among the most adaptable and resilient of organisms...

    Really enjoyed this read. Thank you!

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    1. Resilient as they are, they creep me out! But I enjoy writing about things I love and hate. It's motivation either way! Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments.. :)

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  14. stomp stomp stomp! *shudders*

    Haha, can we ever win when fighting against such creatures? :P

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  15. I'd rather fight from afar, Karla! Just tell me when the battle is over and I can come back home and live without threat. :)

    I hate bugs! Can you guess?

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  16. So I had to back into this one for two reasons: 1)I have a massive, nasty bug phobia. 8 legs fine, six legs I freak the f - out. 2)I have had cockroaches AND bedbugs in the last place I lived. I'm still a bit traumatized.

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    1. I'm sort of weirded out by bugs too. I can stand anything with legs 4 or less, down to worms and snakes (no legs of course). :)

      But get me around six legs or more, I'll do the jitter dance, hair slapping, head beating ritual like you wouldn't believe! lol

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