My favorite Timisms

When I think of dialogue, I always think about the snippets I post on Facebook where my husband and I exchange quips back and forth, Tim dishing the wittier throw backs, of course. In order for your characters to sound real, make sure that every word counts.

I've gone back through the past year and have compiled some of my favorites, and they're not all between me and Tim. Some involve exchanges with customer service representatives.

If you take a moment and record dialogue that you've had yourselves and re-read them, you can see the characters are there, in all their three dimensional selves.

I can give these snippets to any of my friends, minus the tags, and they can tell which is Tim and which is me just by the things we say and how we say them, what context. This is how dialogue should be in your fiction as well. Your characters should exude who they are through their actions and their dialogue.

These are complete accounts, word for word. I've added some actions to put things in perspective. I'm calling these Timisms.



September 17, 2012

Tim studies the connector and speaks into the phone, "I'm installing a dishwasher you delivered today and I need to purchase an adapter for the connector."

A Lowe's representative says, "Sir, you should hire a plumber to do that."

Tim raises an eyebrow, "Really? Should I also hire an electrician to plug it in?"

October 20, 2012

Diane reflects and says, "I think a lot of my women friends think you're hot."

"Really? Why do you think that is?"

"Because I think they see you as the strong, silent type."

Tim takes two more swallows from his can of Miller Lite, "Because I know to keep my mouth shut around your friends."

November 8, 2012

Tim uses my phone to call Verizon, "I lost my phone."

"Are you calling from that number now, sir?"

After a brief silence and a puzzled glance at my phone, "No, I can't call from it. It's lost."

Tim becomes frustrated and hangs up. He then vigorously searches for his phone and decides he will suspend service after he has one more beer.

Tim finds his phone in the refrigerator on top of the twelve pack of Miller Lite he purchased earlier.

Tim's newly recovered phone rings and he answers it, "Hello?"

It's Verizon wanting him to take a customer satisfaction survey based on his recent call about his missing phone.

March 30, 2013

After two months being on a strict budget, Tim says, "I refuse to live as if we're poor."

Diane gives in, "Okay. So, what would you like to do today?"

Tim, finally having taken the lead, "Let's pack a cooler of beer and go to the flea market."

May 27, 2013

While standing in the center of the vanity, Diane decides not to curl her hair, "Does my hair look okay straight?"

"Looks Great." Tim steps in beside her and looks at himself in the mirror, "Does mine look okay almost gone?"

October 30, 2013

Diane isn't great at doling out compliments, but she finally succeeds, "I love you so much, and I know I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it weren't for you."

Tim continues to hammer nails into the baseboard, "Hey, don't blame that shit on me."

Do you have favorite real life snippets of dialogue to share? Share them in the comments!

Lucille Ball - The Day We Broke That Mould

I saw this photo circulating on Facebook today and it made me think about my marriage. Every character has their moments and Lucy certainly had hers. I loved that woman.

She is my character of the day because I've made her into another picture story on a few events which took place way back when. Thus, these photos capture the nature of my dilemma as it occurred.

Yes, all marriages, especially new ones, are chock full of potential pitfalls if you do not do this one thing which is necessary for any marriage to succeed, and that thing is called compromise. Even when you fight and your feelings are hurt, it's important not to make the other person the one who is always apologizing. You must, at times, concede you were half wrong.

Mistake number one I made was while at my girlfriend's house I mentioned this argument Tim and I had had and how furious I was with him, because now I was on the hook for giving daily updates. I think my words to her were along the line, "I'm sick of his shit. He's going to have to suck up to me." Okay, I was 20.

When Vicky's phone rang, she answered, and handed it to me, "It's Tim." She had this cheesy grin on her face and I took the receiver cautiously.

"Yes?" I could feel the tightness in my lips and the cold, harsh tone of my voice slapped at the silence which ensued.

"We need to talk."

My heart skipped and jumped into my throat. I knew at that moment, he wanted a divorce. "Really?"

"Yes. Can you meet me at the house during my lunch hour?"

"Sure," I'd said.

Our house was directly across from Vicky and Carlos' house, with about half the length of a football field in between. I walked home and waited for Tim to arrive.

When he did, I tried everything to calm myself, agonizing over the words sure to spill from his lips. But, before he could say anything, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, Tim! It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been such a sensitive child. Will you please forgive me?"

"Of course I will. I love you." Awww.

We made grilled cheese sandwiches together and tomato soup. Then he was off to work. Funny thing about my friend is she couldn't help herself, the nosy gawker. She probably watched out her kitchen window to see when Tim left the house. No sooner than he let himself out, my phone rang, "Girl, so tell me what happened!"

I had to let my girl know I stood strong. "You know, Tim's a good man, but I got him so wrapped around my little pinkie. He apologized, we snuggled a bit, and then he made me a hot, gourmet meal for lunch!"

"Oh, how sweet!" Vicky's voice fell away.

"Is that so?" I turned and it was Tim in the doorway, and from the fury in his face I could tell he'd obviously heard every word which had sprung from my juvenile pie hole.

"Um, I'll call you back later," I whispered into the phone at my dear friend, as if the whisper would wipe away any of my previous words. Then I quickly hung up the phone.

"I can explain," I offered Tim, but I had no idea what I could possibly say at that point. It just sounded better than saying nothing.

Tim turned for the door, opened it, and walked out. "Tim!" I called out but to no avail. I couldn't help but wonder why my friend couldn't have remained at her kitchen window long enough to see that Tim had obviously forgotten his keys and had made his way back to the front door. Fine friend she was, that one.

I tell you what. Talk about the groveling I had to do to make up for that one. I certainly learned my lesson and that was almost 27 years ago.

I can laugh about it now because when I think about Lucille Ball and Ricky Ricardo, I smile a little, knowing inside, there was one more couple to make before they broke that mould and that would be us.


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Rainy Day Blog Chain - Absolute Write

This month's prompt:
Rainy Days - by Absolute Write

Write wherever the prompt inspires you. It can be fiction or non-fiction, all wet or high and dry, mushy mud or hard-packed earth. If you want to go with snow, hail, boiling hellrain, biblical frograin, or some other kind of precipitation, knock yourself out. So, here's mine:

We’d decided to drive to St. Mark’s, get out on the water for a bit, and enjoy the salty breeze along the banks of the Lighthouse. When we arrived, some fishermen were assessing the sky. We could see some grayness on the horizon, but far enough away it didn’t bother me. No different than what we’re used to here in Tallahassee, Florida.

I removed my Oakleys and said, “So, what do you think?”

“I don’t know. I think we should consider a rain check.” He always sides with caution.

I tried not to show my disappointment, but my voice sounded a bit whiny, even to me, “We always do this. Come out, it’s gray, we head home, and it clears up.” I felt his eyes on me while I studied the late summer sky.

The Shell Point Fish Camp deckhands had our boat tied to the docks, awaiting our arrival an hour beforehand. I felt bad that we’d be telling them to put it back in storage. Thanks for nothing, right?

I heard Tim sigh. Then he said, “Fine, we’ll take her out for an hour. But first sign of bad weather, we head back.”

I agreed and gave him a huge hug.

We climbed into our maroon and white Q4 run-a-bout and took off. The water was smooth as glass, but I expected to reach the saltier mass and all its choppiness soon enough.

Two miles out, Tim pulled to the left of the channel, dropped an anchor into the 8-foot deep water, and retrieved a beer from the cooler. I baited one of the fishing poles we keep stored on the boat and then heard a mumbled curse. Before I could cast my rod, Tim was readying the boat for take-off.

"Let's bring her in."

“What’s wrong?”

“You don’t see that?” Tim pointed to the east. What I saw looked like an innocent hazy mist, but only for a few seconds. The encroaching wall of rain moved closer at a pretty quick speed and whirring winds and splatters of dime-sized raindrops hit us like a freight train.

Immediately we both moved to grab the aluminum poles used to frame up the waterproof, cloth cabin roof. Tim unzipped the compartment to unleash the cover and the wind pulled it from the opening and whipped it into the open air.

“Hurry up! I can’t hold this side up much longer!” I yelled into the wind, but I knew he couldn’t hear me. He was trying to screw in the bolt to hold up the opposite end. The aluminum pole wasn’t heavy, but the wind blew with such force I was losing stamina fast.

Then the lightning started. I saw the electrical bolts strike next to the boat and my stupid ass was holding up an aluminum pole. “Fuck this shit!”

I let go because we were both soaked to the bone and neither one of us wanted to become a conduit for the electrical frenzy happening so close by. Tim gave me a look that told me if we weren’t getting ready to die, he’d kill me for talking him into taking the boat out. I didn’t care. If I was going to die, I wanted to say goodbye to my friends and family.

I grabbed my blackberry and huddled under the partial dashboard to keep my phone dry. The boat rocked violently in the storm while I posted my status to Facebook, “If we get out of this alive, I promise, God, I will never go out on the water when the sky is gray!” Then I cursed myself for being Agnostic.

The lightning bolts crackled down into the body of water around us while Tim navigated the boat back toward the inlet at a creeping 10 miles per hour. All the while he was steering, he held onto his hat as the wind beat into his face. The sky had gotten so dark, but I could see the frown lines between his brows and along his mouth when the lightning flashed and lit up the area.

By the time we docked the boat, the storm had passed. Our bruised egos kept us from speaking to one another. We drove home in silence and it was killing me. So I spoke up.

“That was some Gilligan’s Island shit, huh?”

After a brief moment, we both laughed. We stopped at a local pub and ordered a pitcher of ice cold beer. Life was good.

Check out the other participating Rainy Day bloggers!

orion_mk3
Bogna
Ralph Pines
Nissie
pyrosama You are HERE!
Lyra Jean
Domoviye
magicmint
areteus
julzperri
hillaryjacques
AFord
randi.lee
J. W. Alden 
SuzanneSeese 
Tomspy77
ronbwriting - (link to this month's post)

The Significance of John Wayne

Let’s consider this legend. Remember him? Of course you do!

I had never been a fan of John Wayne, but my husband, the advocate, probably watched every single movie in which The Duke starred. These movies are acceptable for viewing over and over again, yet I’ll be mocked if I watch The Breakfast Club one more time.

I admit, I’ve watched a few of his movies throughout the years - True Grit, Sands of Iwo Jima, El Dorado, and Rio Bravo, to name a few. To me, the man didn’t really act. Nobody had any mad acting skills back in the day, maybe some stilted over-acting, but definitely not award-winning acting. 

However, according to Tim, John Wayne was more than just the name of a famous actor. And so it came that I would watch another of his movies along side my faithful husband.

The Sons of Katie Elder

It occurred during this movie, that moment where I realized the significance of John Wayne. I was ironing clothes on a Saturday morning and Tim lay on the bed, right leg crossed over the left and arms folded behind his head, watching television. Then came the announcement. It must have been the same guy who announced the television series Leave it to Beaver. At least, it sounded like him, “And now, The Sons of Katie Elder….starring, John Wayne…”

I stopped ironing, because of course, I needed to understand what the big deal was when Tim yelled out, “The Duke! Haha!”

I watched for a bit, just long enough to understand four brothers, the oldest being Wayne, had come back into town because their mother had passed away. Apparently, these sons had been gone for some time, according to the tongue lashing they’d received from mother’s long time friend and caretaker.

The elder brother removed his hat in humble acceptance of the scolding he’d received, then bowed his head in shame.

From the look on Tim’s face, I could tell something was awry. It was like an exasperated silence hung in the air and nobody dared say a word, not even me. The television was silent, Tim was silent, and I held my breath.

“You should be ashamed,” the caretaker continued. “The lot of you!”

That’s when Tim turned toward me, tapping his chest with indignity, as if speaking for the man, “Bitch, I’m John Wayne.”

And that’s when I knew that John Wayne would always be bigger than the characters he played. He was, indeed, a legend.

A Celebrity Picture Story

I know you all have been wondering where I've been for the past week. Not.

Tim and I visited Washington D.C. and met my sister and brother-in-law there along with a childhood friend and her husband. We showed up on the red carpet, under-dressed for the occasion I'm sure. But it was fun and nobody said a word about our attire. As a matter of fact, they were pretty stunned to silence. It was awfully quiet!

Firstly, we were greeted by the lovely Marilyn Monroe, just as gorgeous as ever. What do you mean she's dead? Look at her! She's literally singing Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

And by the way, after she greeted the philandering...er, President and First Lady, I made it a point to encourage the two iconic figures to enjoy our company. They could hardly refuse.

I'll try not to annoy you too much, Mr. President.

When you start mingling with the heavy duty crowds like the political figures, they get a little uppity at times and think they can run you off by making you feel like you don't belong, but Tim fixed that very quickly. You have to treat his wife (that's me) like excellency or you'll be the one high tailing it out of there. Get it?

Beware, I have a lighter in my pocket.

Anyway, egos flared, tempers culminated into a standoff, but soon enough all was well and we moved on. Why? Because, someone got Tim's attention and his man hairs settled into a nice down pelt.

So this is how you're supposed to treat them...

Julia Roberts made sure he felt at home in the star-studded atmosphere. Watch it, Missy. I can assure you he's not going without a fight. I have to warn you, I pull hair and it hurts. Plus, he doesn't like big teeth.

So now I'm forced to lure my man away from the clutches of the tooth fairy and what better way than to have Mr. Clooney propose to me!

Sorry, Amal, but I think he just got tired of your good looks and humble attitude. I promise you, I won't be signing a pre-nup. There's a price for everything, but I'm priceless. Ask Tim.

Why yes, George, but the pre-nup is a no go.

Alas, I cannot compete with these Hollywood types. They come out of nowhere! How do I show Tim that I'm the better catch? I don't have the money, the fans, the looks, the ASS. I mean look at THAT!

He DID put a ring on it!

Beyonce's got all that, plus a mean ass look on her face. Does she have to rub it in so nastily? Men will be men, I guess. A warning to you lovely ladies out there. A cheater is always a cheater. If he does it to me, he'll do it to you. You haven't won anything! You'll see. Karma's a bitch.

Mmmhmmm. Go on, girl!

So what do we do to keep our marriages going? How do we compete in a world filled with people who believe that beauty is the catch-all when it comes to mating? We put our men in the field, that's what we do!

Sharing strategy!

Keep them busy. Allow them to compete and play hard. There are plenty of sports for them to get involved in and to help blow off testosterone.

Sharing jabs!

Soon enough, they will be so busy patting themselves on the back, shaking hands with their competitors.

I thoroughly enjoyed kicking your ass at Mario Brothers.

They will encourage one another, build future bonds, and share fist bumps.

 and all the while...back at the fortress....we're helping out as best we can to make this a better place, opening lines of communication, and sharing knowledge.

You missed a comma. See, right there.

We're bringing our passions to the table and opening our worlds to younger geeks who are eager to contribute!

See that? It's an integral. Amazing stuff!

Seriously, I had no idea this would turn into a "making progress in our relationships" type of post, but there you go!

And, that's a wrap!

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A Memorial to my Husband - Mr. Universe

This is my first post in February. I know I've been pretty consistent in posting at least once per week, if not more, but my life has been turned upside down recently and I am taking some time away to recover from the passing of my husband of 27 years. You all know him as Mr. Universe, the love of my life, and the master of everything that is my world. I guess you know why it has been hard for me to jump back into the swing of things, but here I go.

The best way to share with you is to share my message as it appeared to my closest friends and family on Facebook shortly after Tim passed on February 1st:

I want to thank you all for your support and words of encouragement. I'm reading your prayers, every single one. I just didn't want to respond until I had more information to provide, especially to those who did not realize that Tim had been ill. Tim had a soft tissue sarcoma 5 years ago and they successfully removed it. His scans had been clean for 4 years. However, about 3 years ago, I discovered a pinhead sized melanoma on his back. They removed it successfully and we thought nothing more of it. 

In August of 2013, during a routine scan to ensure the earlier sarcoma had not returned, they found some spots on his liver which turned out to be a spread from the melanoma they had removed years before. They gave him a prognosis of 6-9 months (without treatments). We elected treatments. 

In the meantime, we created a bucket list and traveled about having the time of our lives. He passed just like he wanted to, with nobody fretting over him and nobody being sad. I realize it's not the best way to learn of someone's passing, but it's how he wanted it.

I hope in respecting his wishes for as much privacy as I could possibly allow him, I deserve to at least share his story now that he has passed. 

Thank you! 

Please visit Tim's memorial site and leave your blessings. He made his life in the same manner as he viewed the world and he had no regrets, as can be expressed in this photo I took a few short years ago. It is how I will always remember him.

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A Tale of Cognitive Dissonance

Way back in the day, when I was in college, my psychology instructor introduced a new phrase which, until yesterday evening, I never really understood. This has been a mind blowing revelation, so please follow along.

The phrase I'm sharing today is cognitive dissonance. If you're a smarty pants and already know what this means, great! For the rest of us, it is broken down as such.


cog•ni•tive  [kog-ni-tiv]
Adjective - of or pertaining to the act or process of knowing, perceiving, remembering, etc.; of or relating to cognition


dis•so•nance  [dis-uh-nuhns]
Noun - inharmonious or harsh sound; discord; cacophony


From About.com

The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. 

How does one hold two conflicting beliefs? Well, that depends on your motives at any given moment, right? This is how it came to me. Because up until last night, I don't believe I'd ever had conflicting beliefs. I'm not a republican AND a democrat. I'm not a Christian AND a Buddhist. Get it? That's why this phrase had always been difficult for me to comprehend.

I'll start with the day before. Tim had been working in Miami, so I had some time on my hands and the Yorkie had made a matted mess of her backside. I took this opportunity to comb out her lovely locks. She's a ball of fire, and in order to get her to calm down, I had to hold her steady on the kitchen counter. I know this is not the preferable place to do this, but it was convenient. Was there an epiphany at this moment? No. That came later.

So, I'm combing her hair, pulling out knots, very careful not to trigger any yips from this four pound pooch. All the while, she's excited about this nearby tomato I'd taken a slice off earlier during lunch. I'm a bit embarrassed, but I guess I should have put it away, else she wouldn't be so distracted. If she sniffed it, she would realize it wasn’t some hunk of meat. She'd probably leave it be and I could finish combing out her matts.

Okay, so I let her sniff it. How was I to know she liked tomatoes? I snatched her away, but not before she'd taken several licks from the exposed end. I made a note to throw it out because I'd rather waste nearly an entire tomato than to risk sharing that reeking saliva of hers. It would probably eat its way into the core of the fruit. I'm not being mean. This dog's tongue has been places. I'm embarrassed, again.

All of these things I'm describing to you here are all cognitive. I'm knowing, perceiving, and remembering. I'm very aware of all these things at the moment, but our processing of information changes when we're in a different environment, with different people and different motives. So, enough about the Yorkie for now.

Tim arrived home yesterday and we made a quick trip to the store to stock up on some essentials, namely beer. I decided to accompany him to the store because he'd been gone and I figured we could get caught up on things. And, just for the sake of contrast, Tim's the bargain shopper and I'm the "get in, get it, and get out" type of shopper, and on that evening I had to pee. However, I knew it could wait since we only live 15 minutes away.

So the dissonance part? He starts his bargain shopping for things I felt we could pick up another time, a time when I wasn't consciously aware of my expanding bladder.

"Oh, I know what I needed to get," he says.

Groan!

I say, "Okay, let's get it and go."

He goes back two more aisles and grabs a few more items. I said he's a bargain shopper, not an efficient one. Meanwhile, my bladder is filling up.

Suddenly, he stops pushing the cart and I slam into his back. "What do you want for breakfast in the morning?" he asks.

"I don't care, BLTs."

"Good, I got bacon the other day and we have lettuce. I just need to get a loaf of bread."

At this point, I'm not even listening anymore because my bladder is so full and I'm agreeing with everything. No more items! Stop adding items to the list and let's get the hell out of here!

"Can we go now?" I plead.

"Yep, let's get out of here."

My hero! Peeing is going to feel soooo good.

We head toward the checkout and Tim says, "We have a tomato at home. I saw it on the counter."

The feeling I had at that moment is called cognitive dissonance.

Some WTF Moments Traveling to DC

I've been remiss in not posting the photos from last weekend where I spent my time with friends who participated in this year's Marine Corps Marathon. My trip started last Thursday when I bumped into my friend Yvette at the Tallahassee airport. I was like WTF are you doing here? And she was like, no wait...WTF are YOU doing here?

Turns out we were both traveling. She was going to Texas, and I was going to D.C. Funniest thing ever? We were both on the same flight to Tampa where Yvette had a 2 hour lay over, and I had a 4 hour lay over. Is there a better way to spend time with a friend than getting our buzz on before noon?

Drinking Mai Tais & Strawberry Martinis

Okay, so enough of that shit. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, Yvette took off to Texas, and I popped another Oxy in preparation for my flight into D.C. where I would eventually meet up with my other pals from Tallahassee, the ones who were all running as part of team Tim Carlisle, in honor of my late husband. Yes, you should visit the link and see how much his friends raised for their charity, Semper Fi Fund. Here's a video outside the Smithsonian's American History Museum.

Team Tim Carlisle and their families celebrate
after the run on Sunday.

My friends, Lisa and Robert Roddy

Tim's buddy, Garrick. Responsible
for creating the team and raising over
$11,000.00 of their $10,000.00 goal!

Despite the long trip, parts of which I can't even explain (like the 50 foot drop the plane took during a bout of turbulence), I had some "me" moments where I was able to reflect on the past and even ruminate on my future a bit. Where I'd once had fears of eating alone in a restaurant, I was forced to do so while experiencing my first encounter with Vietnamese cuisine. I ordered this stuff called Pho.

When this came, I was like, "Okay, I get it."
Pho fuck's sake! Where's the rest of my food!!

I soon discovered that wasn't all there was to my order. That's just the nasty stuff you're supposed to use to make your meal look more enticing. Wait for it....

Yeah, that's meat floating inside the
soup bowl. It's like some kind of beef
brisket, floating around in hot soup.
I'm not kidding. LOOK at it!

Did I eat it? Yes. I was hungry. Despite the fact that I'm only 5'3" weighing in at 115 pounds, I still do require some sustenance. No worries either, I did not skimp on my caloric intake.

Less calories than an entire bowl
of Fettuccine Alfredo

Nestle Dibs wasn't the only thing I consumed during my alone time. I walked to the local 7 Eleven (yes they still have those in D.C.) and picked up a sugar free Red Bull to drink on my way back to my room, though I did pass a crowd of Mexicans hovered over what looked to be a scratch off lottery ticket.

This is true. I experienced it, so don't call me a racist. I can't help it they were Mexican. I really wish they had been Asian so that I could say they were Asians. But, if they were Asian, they'd have been taking pictures of each other standing in front of the local 7 Eleven and maybe holding up a sugar free Red Bull.

Life's too short not to enjoy one of these.
I bought the sunglasses at the 7 Eleven, too.
Classy? Maybe more like classic.

So anyway, my trip to D.C. was just another journey on my path to making progress. I'm doing me, and me says it's time to celebrate the meaning of life, try new things, experience the freedom of being you, and take an Oxy 45 minutes before you get on an airplane.

Cheers!

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No More Resolutions - Make New Year Goals

Two years ago I listed 5 Stupid New Year Resolutions. I've since read back through these to get a deeper understanding of why they don't work.

Each of the resolutions I mention are huge commitments, sacrifices you make "up front" which do not produce immediate results. So, rather than making one stupid resolution, I'm setting 10 goals for 2015, and here they are!


Start Graduate School

Okay, so I cheated. This one was already in progress because I had to get accepted first, which happened in November. My first class starts January 12th in the new year. I am officially a graduate student at Purdue University working toward a Masters in Communications.  I am humbled to have been accepted!


Advance My Career

Notice I didn't title this "Get a Promotion" or "Get Another Job." This is because achieving a goal should be at the control of the person establishing the goal. I cannot control getting a promotion or being hired at another organization. What I can control are the things I do in order to elevate myself so I am perceived to be the cream of the crop. Helloooooo out there! Here I am!! Another option in career advancement could be starting a business.


Outline My Memoir

But Diane, you're only...oh, never mind. You ARE old enough. You know what? Fuck off.


Attend a Writing Retreat

For all of you who have done this already, I ENVY you! I can see myself in the mountains somewhere, sitting at a bay window in a log cabin and sipping a cherry vanilla espresso. Who am I kidding though? I'll just be some washed up romantic with writer's block. Oh well, I guess a day on the slopes, hot soup, and a blazing fire will get me in the mood to write. Who's with me?!


Attend the Tallahassee Writers Association Conference

I haven't missed one since becoming a member and I know why. This is the mother of all conferences, so if you have even the slightest interest in writing, YOU. MUST. ATTEND. THIS. EVENT. Period.


Attend the Florida Writers Association Conference

This is the best excuse for making a trip to Lake Mary in October. I wish I hadn't missed it this year, but I had to support Tim's run in the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. I will not be missing this event in 2015, the entire event, not just one of the days.


Get Back Into Yoga

This is not like joining the gym. Embarrassing enough, I already am a member and this is a free activity provided twice per week. Why did I stop going? Because, I couldn't keep Tim from giggling because he couldn't contort the way some of the 90 year old men in the class did. I think I can get Chelsey to partner up with me. She might take it more serious than Tim.


Take Gourmet Cooking Classes

The Food Network planted the larva, but now I have a full grown bug driving this desire to blanch, roast, bake, and grill. This will not be a very cost effective journey because I won't eat any of the things I want to cook. Any Guinea pigs out there willing to risk food poisoning? I'll be happy to compile goody baskets.


Finish My GeekSsentials Website

I started this site because I wanted to offer up services to the local Tallahassee area small businesses. I know how difficult it is for businesses to get out there, especially start ups, and word of mouth just isn't going to do it in this economy. With companies having to fork out more in health care costs and penalties, there's much less financial resources going into marketing and promotions. Hello out there! I work with your budget.


Institute Mom's Night Out

A new thing I plan to start with my kids is called Mom's Night Out. That means once per month, one of them has to take me out to dinner, lunch, or a movie. I get to pick up the tab. Hey, what better incentive is there for such a wonderful occasion?

Happy New Year, everyone!


Do you have goals for 2015? Tell us what they are in the comments below!




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Writing Inspiration Comes in Many Forms

Don't call me crazy, but I was a bit depressed this past weekend. I wanted to write something so desperately and my brain wouldn't work. As a matter of fact, it worked against me!

Tim asked me why I was being so quiet and I didn't have an answer. He knew I'd had writer's block for the past month and the concern on his face was quite touching, so I blurted it out, "I want a ferret!"

He had this WTF look on his face, but I pressed on, "They're like cats and you can litter train them."

"They smell."

"No they don't."

"They do!"

"Let's go to Carol's Critters. I'll call them and see if they have any. I just want to look at one. You'll see how cute they are and you'll agree that we should get one."

Turned out they did have one and when we arrived at the store, there she was, resting in a hammock suspended from the top of a 90 gallon aquarium tank.

What a coincidence! I have a 90 gallon tank at home taking up room in the garage. Three years of maintaining a salt water fish tank had done it for me, but I knew I would eventually use the tank for something else.

She was a cutie, too! The ferret. The only problem? She was already 9 months old and not litter trained.

Also, I didn't have a lid that would support a hammock suspension system like the one in the store, which is something I would have to get because you can't have a ferret and not add that level of cuteness. No way.

I handed Carol my business card and asked her to please call me when she had new arrivals of baby ferrets and I would return. I couldn't help but notice Tim looked mighty pleased that we were leaving without the ferret. He knows me too well. I'm the compulsive buyer. Give it a week and I'd forget all about the ferret.

Back to my deep thoughts and sadness...and writer's block.

Today was my flex day, so I came home from work and found Tim in the driveway building something. It couldn't be! He had started working on the lid to my future home for Mo and Bo!

"What do you mean Mo and Bo?" he asked.

I must have said that out loud.

"Well, remember, Carol had said that ferrets come into the store in pairs of two. You can't just separate baby animals when they've been cuddling together all the way to their new destination. That would be cruel. Maybe even traumatizing!"

I'm so excited. The inspiration to write hit me instantly and so here it is. Now that I'm done telling you all about my new future ferrets, Mo and Bo, I must go thank my wonderful husband.

Wait, why is he staring at me like that?



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Another Year Cancer Free

by Diane Carlisle

In keeping with the theme of this blog, which is about making progress, whether it has to do with my writing, my career or my personal growth, I have another entry to add. Today I am focusing on someone else’s progress, that of my husband of 24 years.

Last year my husband discovered a lump below his right calf which turned out to be a stage two soft tissue sarcoma. When we sat down during lunch at our favorite restaurant, I thought he was going to tell me he was let go at work. I had a comforting speech all worked out in my head after tossing things back and forth, trying to figure out what he wanted to talk about. The worst case scenario that sprung to mind in all the economic chaos going on in our country then, and still today, was that he had lost his job.

We had both watched my mother die of cancer back in 2006. From the time the lump was discovered in her neck until she died, three short weeks had passed. Her small, indiscernible lump grew into a softball sized monstrosity within one week.

All the poking and prodding with needles and ink by general practitioners helped her cancer fester and grow exponentially over a span of several days. After having undergone a tracheostomy to allow air passage into her lungs because the tumor was forcing a blockage, she finally passed away at a hospice center in Wilmington, NC.

Even when you’ve been through it once, or no matter how many times, it’s not something you get used to because it’s happened to you before. It’s something that makes your adrenaline pump really fast because you know what can happen if you don’t seek the absolute best care as soon as possible.

Things moved quickly from our lunch date to the first visit at Shand’s Cancer Center in Gainesville, Florida. Dr. C. Parker Gibbs performed a biopsy, confirmed the diagnosis and made recommendations for radiation, surgery and subsequent CT scans. We were informed that Tim could possibly lose his leg and the decision to amputate would happen while he was under. Fortunately, that didn’t happen and the tumor was removed successfully.

We were extremely happy with the results of Tim’s surgery and you can hardly see the scar, even with all the hair loss from the radiation. With each follow-up visit, the kind surgeon brings in his entourage of assistants to show off his magnificent product before announcing the current CT scan is clean.

It’s been one year now and my husband is still cancer free. He has another year of quarterly scans and after that we will only need to drive to Gainesville twice per year for another three years. From the beginning, I told my husband that he’s not dying of cancer, he’s living with it. We continue with our optimism, even though any of our follow-up visits have the potential to deliver bad news. I guess we’ll deal with it if it happens.

My husband is living proof that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Here’s Tim in the hospital after surgery. I brought him Miller Lite, our favorite beer, our only beer. I think if Miller Brewing Company knew how much we love their beer, I might gain employment with them. I can’t believe I actually snuck a six-pack past the nurse’s station.

Cheers!

God Is Testing My Patience

God tested my patience when we drove half way to North Carolina and stayed at the Embassy Suites in Savannah. The "Manager's Reception" had just started and that means free beer. We ordered ourselves a couple of tall drafts, but they didn’t have Miller Lite, so that was a little disappointing in itself. It was a Thursday evening and we didn’t find many people bellied up to the bar.

We drank our beers and engaged in small talk with the bartender until this one guy, two stools down from us, acknowledged my husband with a slight nod of his head.

"You a Marine?"

"Retired," Tim offered, though clearly scripted in bright red letters on the front of his shirt read the words "Retired USMC".

"My dad’s a retired Marine," the man said. "He joined back in the day when everyone hated the Japs."

I choked up some beer, but recovered quickly.

Really? Really?!

Okay, so I wasn't in the mood for a fight. I drank my beer in silence with this silly smirk on my face thinking, “You know what … if my husband wasn’t the respectable man that he is, I would climb over him right now and beat your ass.” Instead, I remained cordial and listened while they talked about military history and the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

I had been thinking a lot lately about projecting a positive image of myself as this demure, older lady but I sensed my tolerance of the man wearing thin. I let it go because I knew later that Tim and I would laugh about the ignorance of the man. However, that same evening, we found a nice little watering hole outside the good city of Savannah and I had this great conversation with another gentleman.

“Where ya from?” he asked.

“Tallahassee,” I said.

“No, like where ya come from?”

My usual answer of “from my mother’s womb” came to mind, but the snarky answer remained inside my head. “You mean, what’s my nationality?” The calmness in my voice surprised me because I was highly irritated knowing exactly what he was asking.

“I’m half Japanese.” I took another sip of beer.

“Yea, I thought Asian, but not sure which kind since ya’all look alike," he said.

"Really? How so?" I motioned to the bartender for another draft so that I’d have something to do with my hand other than balling it up into a fist and shoving it down this man's throat.

"Ya’ll have slanted eyes," he said. Then he laughed and snorted and I think he even slapped his knee once.

I don’t know if it was the beer doing funny things to me or what, but when I turned to look at him, I saw these huge buck teeth and long ass donkey ears. I was speechless. Somehow, I didn’t have the heart to respond.

Wow…

Can we just fast-forward to the year 2030 so I can see which group is getting all the hate? I can promise you I won’t be telling anyone that my son joined the Army back in the day when everyone hated those rag-heads who all look alike.

Maybe I should have given up my image of demure, older lady and beat the man's ass. Then he could go home and tell his friends, if he had any, just how violent those Japs are.