What's a girl to do when told she was almost aborted? I think it was mom’s way of telling me that
she was proud of my accomplishments. Maybe it's the only way she knew how to say it. My accomplishments never really meant anything to anyone because everything I’d accomplished, from bottle weaning to potty training to graduation from high school (wait, I dropped out in the 12th grade), had already been done by my sister who happens to be eleven months older.
So, when it was my turn for accolades after having graduated college? I got the "I'm so happy I didn't go through with that abortion" story. Mom had said she was stunned when the doctor told her she was pregnant two months after she’d had my sister. My future parents were poor at the time and couldn't afford an abortion. So, while they saved up the money, I continued to grow inside her womb.
When they finally had enough to pay for the abortion, mom had felt me kick and decided she couldn't go through with it. Good thing I kicked her when I did. The hell was she thinking anyway?
"Something just told me I shouldn't be doing this," she had said. Yeah, that something was me, telepathically slapping the shit out of you. I didn't actually say that; it's what I felt like saying.
Don't get me wrong. I loved my mother and bless her she is not with us today, but there are just some things you keep to yourself. The fact that she wanted to abort me was her own business, you know? I know her intention was to praise me. Though, I wish it had come out something like, "I'm so proud of you for putting yourself through college. I always knew you were smart." I don’t know, to me it just sounds better.
I wanted to tell her she didn't do me any favors. I was the one who fought to be here. It was my spirit that got me here, despite all the evil contemplations to abort me. I'm not even going to use that word to sugar coat it. She wanted to kill me! She wanted to get rid of that thing she’d created because it would have complicated her life by essentially blessing her with two babies in diapers. I’m glad she discovered it wasn’t that much more work having me tag along.
This was something I really would rather have not known. What was my response supposed to be anyway? Was I supposed to thank her for not killing me so that I would have the opportunity to put myself through college and make something of this life that she’d given me? Had she not divulged this information, everything would be fine, because I'd be thanking her for giving me life rather than thanking God that I kicked her ass when I did.
My mother is not turning over in her grave with this post. She is rather laughing her ass off, knowing I can find humor in such a painful memory. I'm taking advantage of this second chance. I won't let you down, mom!
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That's a totally amazing story. I think it's wonderful that you are here to tell the other side of an abortion story. If you hadn't kicked when you did, how many lives would have been changed forever. I love your attitude about it, and am glad you are brave enough to share such an amazing second chance story.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lara. That kick gave life to two more children and 25 years of happiness for my husband. :D (so I claim).
DeleteWow! I'm glad you are able to look back on this and see your accomplishments. It must have been heartbreaking to hear your mom tell you you almost weren't born. Good for you for being able to not only accept what happened, but take credit for your own life.
ReplyDeleteNot only heartbreaking, Kelly, I was later pretty indignant. But then I realized she didn't have to tell me, but now that she had, I value my life so much more. I had done some stupid things before.
DeleteWow, Diane! What a second chance. This is such an honest post and written with such good humour, although at the time it must have been shocking ...
ReplyDeleteA similar thing happened to my mother, it is something she never quite got over and I watched her try and earn my grandmother's approval until the day my grandmother died, never quite suceeding. At least your mother was/is proud of all you have become in life! But, yes, she could probably have kept that one to herself!
http://unpublishedworksofme.blogspot.com/
I hate to see families fall apart over mistakes, because we've all made our own. Wouldn't it be lovely if everyone had the ability to forgive? I truly wished your mom could have made that connection with your grandmother.
DeleteLife's too short. It's not always as easy as stepping on stones to get to the other side. Sometimes you have to skip a stone and swim a bit. :)
Wow. I mean, wow. You are incredible for having such a sense of humor to be able to laugh at anything. That, too, is a gift!
ReplyDeleteThanks! My kindergarten teacher once wrote on the back of my report card:
Delete"Diane has a sense of humor beyond her years."
That's an incredible story! I'm not sure how I would have reacted - absolute heartbreak, maybe anger, maybe even said some things to her that I couldn't have taken back. But I think that your ability to find humor in this situation shows that you have great character and are one strong woman!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAw, thank you Ashley!
DeleteWhat a great ending to a growing miracle filled with so much promise--Cheers!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteMy gosh, what a horrible way to find out. Glad you kicked!
ReplyDeleteKicked, punched and screamed! :)
DeleteThanks!
So glad you're here with us. She shouldn't have told you that story, but the fact that she did makes me think she really loved you and was very glad to see you once you arrived!
ReplyDeleteI think so too! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteThis is a great post on the topic! I'm so glad you can post about something so personal and close to home with the honesty that you did.
ReplyDeleteI can kind of understand where you're coming from, if my mum were to tell me I was almost aborted I don't think I'd even react as nicely as you!
Thanks for the great post, really great hook!
JP xx
Thank you Julz. It will be in my memoir if I ever get to write one!
DeleteWe have the same kind of history - my mom miscarriaged before she had me, and the doctors thought she'd gotten pregnant too soon. Very glad she decided to go through with it! Love the post!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rin. Miscarriages are terrible! My friend had two back to back trying to get pregnant. So glad you are the success!
DeleteVery emotional. Thank you for sharing and thank you for stopping by my blog and your prayers.
ReplyDeleteAlways a pleasure visiting with you, Debra. Hope you are able to read some more on second chances from our other participants. There are some tear-jerkers out there.
DeleteWhat a touching story, Diane, with your usual no-nonsense wit! I'm sure glad you kicked your mom's ass too :) I bet your mom would still be very proud of the woman you've become.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mysti. I think you're right about my mom. She definitely would be proud. I'm happy that you find a no-nonsense wit here. It's like 90% of my personality.
DeleteVery touching and very hard to beat as a second chance story!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, E. But, I don't know. I read some really great second chance stories in the last month!
Delete=)
wow, rather powerful, but it's good you can see the humour in such a serious side. We can't do too much about so much in life, so we need to go forward with a smile on our face best as we can
ReplyDeleteMatt (Turndog Millionaire)
This is true! There's too much negativity in the world as it is. I like to bring some things to light without it having to be negative.
DeleteThat's really touching and powerful! Maybe even publishably touching and powerful, if you feel up to it! Sort of makes my whining about almost missing a luxury vacation seem kind of petulent, too :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I think having a wide variation of stories is so much better and lots of fun, many voices to share. I think this could end up in my memoir or somewhere.
DeleteI'm a new follower. I'd love it if you'd stop by and visit my blog. http://www.VanessaKEccles.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI look forward to reading more of your posts. :)
Welcome, Vanessa! I'll have to stop by and visit then. Have some hot chocolate and croissants waiting for me. :)
DeleteHoly Crap. I don't know what I'd do if my mom told me that. Well I take it back, if she told me when I was a teenager I would have lost it. How old were you when she told you?
ReplyDeleteNow, that I don't remember! :D
DeleteI think I was well into my twenties though.
Sounds like a real cruel thing to say. I don't know if I would have your patience. On second thought I would certainly would have not had it. But then again, I am a man, and there are certain things we will never understand for better or for worse.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a different reaction depending on the relationship you have with your parents. My God, I was shocked, and I think people's reaction might be different no matter if you're a guy or a gal.
DeleteI never thought of it in that way, but you gave me a challenge! I'm going to ask my daughter and my son the same question, "How would you feel if I told you that you were almost aborted?"
I think it's a legitimate question to ask both and see what the answers are.
Thanks!