09 May 2015

There Was A Spider In My Car

I'm not certain how many of you are aware of my fear of spiders. This fear is plenty greater than my fear of death, and from what happened today, I've come to realize that phobias cannot be defeated with rational calm logic. I know this. It's a fact. Don't lecture me either. Not after I'd tried to put on a brave front. I really did!




Driving in your car doing 60 miles per hour is not the place to encounter things which freak you out, but there it was. It emerged from the bottom shadow of the speedometer. Though it wasn't a huge spider, it was large enough its sudden movement caught my eye. First instinct was to release the stirring wheel because my hands were the closest to it. I couldn't do it. I knew the minute I moved, that sucker would jump on me and I'd have a heart attack, taking out the two cars beside me and the one in back.

I remained calm though. I knew I could handle this situation like an adult. I just needed to find something I could use to kill it. As messy as my car had been, I couldn't even find one napkin. But I did find a plastic straw sticking out of a Styrofoam cup. Perfect!

I reached over and pulled the straw out of the plastic lid. The spider had crouched up against the casing of the speedometer, but I could see his entire brown body against the black panel of my dashboard. I darted my eyes back to my windshield to monitor the traffic. More as a gauge to determine the most opportune moment to stab at and impale the spider. At least that was my intention. But I overestimated the size of the thing.

I have to give myself credit though. I was a great aim! I managed to encase the entire spider safely within the opening of the clear plastic tube just long enough to register it was darting up and skittering quickly toward the other end, the end I was still holding on to! I managed to fling the straw away but not before blaring horns and screeching tires told me I'd completely lost control of my car.

I pulled over to the side of the road and sprung from my car, wiping my arms really hard, trying to brush away the creepy feeling that had washed over me. Another honk. Fuck off! People are so insensitive.




I'm telling you. You cannot cure phobias! You cannot suppress these fears. They live in your genes. Can you even comprehend this?

GAH! I'm getting the creeps just writing about it!

Do you have a phobia? Please share so I don't feel like such a basket-case.


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