04 May 2015

The Last of Us - Newbie ALERT!

At the end of my first semester at Purdue, I decided to reward myself with the new PS4 500GB The Last of Us Remastered Bundle. For all you non-gamers out there, it's the latest in a series of competing console gaming systems feeding the zombie craze.

What did I do with my last weekend of the semester? I wasted 4 hours of my life mastering the demise of the newbie zombie slayer. One can't just simply go to school, make good grades, and never achieve anything more of significant value, right?

After attaining my newest checkpoint: this is the point in the game where you will return when you die or become disconnected during game play. In newbie terms, this is where you will spend a lot of your time.

You can sit here and ponder what will kill you next, or you can move forward in the game, get killed, and ponder what happened after the fact. Either way, the goal is to get to the next checkpoint without dying so much that the game play isn't any fun. But don't delude yourself. You WILL die.

One of the many things you will learn as a newbie zombie slayer is how to be a forward thinker. This is a skill which we all need to master and it comes with experience, some pretty painful ones. It's why we don't make the same mistakes twice (most of the time). It's a shame I have to relearn this while playing a game which takes place in a zombie infested world of non-thinkers on a mindless quest for brains. Wait, that sounds too much like reality. Where have I seen this before?

One thing to keep in mind is not to shoot at everything you think might be out to get you. My big mistake was popping off the only 6 rounds I had into an NPC needing my help. I should have realized shooting him was a moot point when the first round did not achieve any significant change in my environment, and the man maintained this cool steady gaze while pleading for help, "Please, help me..."

How ironic I kept hearing those same words screaming in my head, realizing there were zombies close by and I was out of ammunition. Time to learn some new combat skills! It takes a sick mind to develop these games.

Sneaking up on a zombie can be a lot of fun. Your adrenaline is pumping and they can't see you. I found one standing in a room, completely unaware of my presence because I had stealth mode activated. It thrilled me to strangle it with my bare hands and loot ammo from its decaying body! My ego was severely deflated however, when shortly afterward, I attempted to sneak up on two more zombies as they fed hungrily on human flesh. Stealth mode suddenly deactivated and I realized, as they began feeding upon me, I had not reloaded my weapon with the ammunition I had acquired from my latest kill. Hell, I wasn't even holding a gun.

Why would I be holding a gun anyway? I was gonna surprise attack and strangle the mother fuckers, so my hands had to be free, right? And remember this, when you're strangling one zombie, the others aren't going to stand around and wait for you to finish. Bon app├ętit!

Moral of story?


  1. Just because you successfully strangled one zombie, does not mean every attempt at killing a zombie should be with your bare hands. 
  2. When you acquire ammunition, coincidentally when you really needed it, use it, because you probably really need it.
  3. The stealthy sneak attack is pretty cool, but it's totally uncool when you are doing it wrong.


Coming soon! More zombie gaming tips for newbies.





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