02 July 2012

A Big Black Woman Beat My Ass

Character of the Day



She looked like a large, black locomotive and she was heading right toward me, huffing and puffing heaps of warm air from her open mouth. Her large pink lips, held open by a mouthful of oversized teeth, bounced in unison with her voluminous breasts which also slung from side to side as she waddled down the aisle.

The holiday season called on folks near and far and we struggled with last minute Christmas shopping. The small aisle in the calendar store pitted me against the oncoming traffic, the huge black train. I moved sideways to avoid her, pressing my back against a wall shelved with calendars featuring bulldogs, kittens, and horses.

My shoulder bag did not quite make it out of harm’s way. The woman's fat arm brushed the purse in mid-air, sending it twirling into the shelf wall with a thud.

The noise immediately drew the attention of my daughter, now with a look of surprise on her face at my body pressed to the wall and this blob of a woman walking away.

"Scuse me," the woman said, waving a hand in the air as if she were shooing away a bothersome housefly. Without a glance toward me, she continued her shuffle down the aisle.

My daughter tells a different story today and it always starts out, "Oh my gosh! Did I tell you about the time this lady kicked my mom's ass and pushed her into a wall?"



Contact Diane

Name

Email *

Message *