Memorializing Maggie R.I.P

Maggie's favorite napping position

I am  so sad to say that Maggie has passed away. On Friday, I took her to the emergency hospital at the advice of our family veterinarian. My 13-year-old English bulldog had a prolapse or hyperplasia. Whichever it was, she had her insides hanging out of her vagina. It was very scary, so I won't bother with visuals.

The vet on duty recommended Maggie get spayed in order to decrease her estrogen levels. The following Monday, she underwent surgery and I brought her home. She was very groggy, but she came out of the anesthesia the next morning. After walking around the house a bit, she went back to sleep and didn't wake up.

It's tough to lose a member of the family at this time of year. Here are some of our previous Christmas photos.

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2014

Christmas Eve 2015

A very young Chelsey and Tenay. Maggie at a year old.

Maggie let the new puppy climb all over her (2016)

Maggie had the patience of a Saint! (2016)

New puppies are super exhausting. (2016)

She always loved a great butt scratch! (circa 2011)

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What Can Be Worse Than Turning 50?

I thought turning 50 would be devastating, but it wasn't. Not when compared to all the other things that happened the first thing in the morning on my 50th birthday.

Every morning, I ensure Macey makes it from the kennel to the back door in less than 15 seconds. This is the amount of time it takes for her to register a full bladder. That didn't happen this morning.

I had been so proud of her, too. She has never made a dropping in her kennel until this morning, the morning of my 50th birthday. Did I mention that I'm 50 today?

Not only did Macey make a rather large deposit, but it was a loose one. She was so distraught over it that she tried to escape it, trampling it again and again. I can only imagine from the looks of things, she must have made several attempts to rid her paws of the foul smelling goo.

This cleanup job would need some forward thinking. The longer I stood there and contemplated my first moves, the more Macey yiped with anxiety. I made a decision. I would clean the ten-pound puppy first, put her outside, and then tackle the rest of the mess in a methodical approach. I was not prepared for the sheer force of puppy power when I opened the kennel door. Macey sprang from her cage and plowed into my arms.

Fuck me, right?

So, I cleaned and disinfected everything, including her squeaky toy and tug rope. I placed a new puppy training pad in the kennel. I brought Macey back inside to feed her. I bumped the glass beaker off the table and it fell onto the ceramic floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces. The loud noise scared Macey. She sprinted across the kitchen to the other side and pissed on the floor.

Now, if you're having a bad day, cheer up! It could be worse. You could be turning 50.

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A New Member of My Family - Welcome Macey!

Hello Blogosphere!

I'm so excited to introduce a new member of my family today. But first, I want to acknowledge the end of a very divisive and painful election season.

To some, today is a day of somberness, maybe even despair. To others, it's a day of reckoning and joy.  But either way, it is the first day of another chapter in America. The days leading up to my decision to find Macey were filled with the anxiety of possibly losing America in an election that would make history like no other event in the world. We had the option to choose someone who served 30 years in public office, leading a campaign on steadiness and unity. We also had the option to choose a business man who never held office a day in his life, leading a campaign on cleaning up Washington and rebuilding America. I so wanted change and I was afraid it would not happen. I did my part. I voted.

No matter who you voted for in this election, you remain and will always be my American partners. We are in this thing together, as we were with all Presidents of the past. We will see what unfolds in our future, but I have trust in our political system and I believe hope is around the corner.

With the looming election weighing heavy on my shoulders, I scoured the Internet in search of the one who could make me feel confident and content with my choice, no matter the outcome of the election. When I saw her, I knew she belonged to me.

We had a few names to consider. Those names were carefully bounced back and forth between me and Charles. In contention, Baxter, Dallas, Bella, and Stormy rolled off our tongues.

Looks like a Bella here.

Definitely Dallas.

Stormy is so contrasting to this level of calm.

Baxter is so noble!

In the end, and during the hours that unfolded on election day, I settled on Macey. From the baby names site, and I quote:

People with this name tend to be quiet, cooperative, considerate, sympathetic to others, adaptable, balanced and sometimes shy. They are trustworthy, respecting the confidences of others, and make excellent diplomats, mediators and partners. They are often very intuitive. They like detail and order, and often find change worrisome. They may sometimes feel insecure or restless.

I think in these tumultuous times, I need something like this in my life, and Macey appears in all instances capable of bringing a balance into this family and into my world. What do you think? Comment below!

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Hurricane Hermine Aftermath

There are five things I'd like to share in the aftermath of Hurricane Hermine, because these days off from work bored me to tears and now I have the writing bug again. Here's to another Labor Day weekend disaster!


1. Hurricane Damage

I'm sure everyone in the Blogosphere has heard about Hurricane Hermine. It made landfall southeast of Tallahassee last Thursday and reached wind gusts of up to 64 mph in my neighborhood. Here are some photos to show the extent of the damage.

This is the main road heading to my subdivision

Power lines down!! Lost power in 80% of Tallahassee

Buck Lake Road

My back yard, not too bad.

Think I might need a new canopy...

This tree was uprooted. Had to secure it.

2. Jeep Shopping

A couple days after the hurricane, I visited a used car lot to look at a 2006 Jeep Wrangler (black). It wouldn't start without a battery jump, and touch-up paint dotted every 6 inches of the body. Sure, the vehicle was 10 years old. But, if you have that many spots to "touch up", put the damned Jeep in a body shop and get a real paint job.

"I'm thinking I'll paint it pink and get a zombie decal on the side."

"I won't ride in it if you do that." Charles shut that down quicker than Elly May Clampett could hog-tie a wild boar!

Okay, fine. I'll get a Barbie decal instead.

3. The Doggie Door Incident

The two bigger dogs figured out how to use the doggie door. But, my 4-pound Yorkie (Biscuit) didn't want to bump her delicate nose against the plastic flap to let herself in. Then one day, she managed to climb her way inside when we weren't looking. She did this several times, but only when nobody was around to witness it. I finally captured the mystery on video this weekend.

4. Candy Crush and Lasagna

During the power outage in Tallahassee, I was in Thomasville, GA playing Candy Crush while my boyfriend worked all day. It is the quickest way to get my OCD fix. Only it wasn't a fix because I quit the game early. I got frustrated. I couldn't beat level 158, so I reverted back to level 112. I couldn't manage to beat that level either. So, I made a lasagna. I recommend the Barilla Oven Ready brand, because you don't have to boil the noodles. Go figure...


Got bored with Snapchat

With the lasagna done, there wasn't a whole lot left to do. I spent most of Saturday at my boyfriend's house. This is me when I get bored. Snapchat is the most entertaining app when you have nothing else to do.

That's all I have to share for now. What was your Labor Day weekend like? Share in the comments!




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The Merry Christmas Blogathon

Thank you to Maria Zannini for hosting this fun event for bloggers! We are supposed to serve up photos of our Christmas spread. However, my partial family ate out for Christmas dinner since there were only three of us. Everyone else traveled north, so it wasn't worth the trouble to make a spread, at least not of food.

Not all is lost though. I still took photos of our fun filled day. From presents to stocking surprises and family portraits, here are the Christmas day photos from our home.

The stockings were hung from our
decorated mantel.

Even the dogs and ferrets had stockings!

First Christmas tree with butterflies...
and fake snow. When does THAT ever happen?
Don't judge!

We're doing this from scratch.
I swear.

My group. I know. The gingerbread man
looks creepy as hell.

Chelsey's less creepy group. Psst! The candy cane
stripes were made with food color gel, leaving
 the cookie inedible. She gets it honestly. :)

You distract them; I'll grab the cookies!

Family portrait. Not sure what the dogs
were looking at, maybe the ferrets?

Chelsey with her new Lenovo laptop/tablet.
Now I get to reclaim my Macbook. Woot!

In the voice of Austin Powers, "Do I
look sexy? Yeah, baby!"

They don't like sexy, you turd ball.
They like cuteness. See?

Of course, the ferrets had to check out the wrapped boxes. Look what fun Santa brought them!

Post by Ninja and Shogun.

Thanks for sharing your Christmas fun on this Blogathon. I'll be enjoying all of your photos on the 29th. Can't wait!!

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Making Progress is a Humbling Experience

I was so proud of my male ferret, Shogun, when he learned this new skill. Casting rollover is a difficult lesson to learn and it took two weeks of click training, but he finally got it down to perfection. I love this kiddo!

Wait a minute, this journey isn't over yet! Soon after he mastered this new skill, Shogun became confused and did not respond appropriately to new stimuli with which he came into contact. He tried to make sense of his newly acquired skill, but nothing happened when he cast the spell again and again. Even the introduction of a plastic cup duped him...three times!

Then it hit me. Shogun takes after my sister, the new magi. Listen closely, wait for it.

For all my tech friends out there, just because you learn a new skill does not mean you necessarily understand how to use it. You must research and practice. :)

Have you learned something new and techie?  Would you like more understanding about your newly acquired skills? Ask away in the comments below and we shall be certain to enlighten.



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Ferret Flash Fiction - A Furry Tale

A Furry Tale, get it? Hahahaha!!

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Shogun. He was the master of all ferret sages. Shogun carried with him the wisdom of several weeks training, learning the rollover skill. He carried himself with great pride and dignity, and whenever put to task, he accepted the challenge with great poise and inner pleasure a mere human could never fathom.

I accept your challenge, you
weak human!

No challenge ever phased Shogun, and so the master human placed before the mighty Shogun a new task. Extract the pink astral sphere from the domain of The Ninja Spirit.

The hell?! Did you say
The Ninja Spirit?

Before the master of all ferrets approached the domain of The Ninja Spirit, the flying weasel sprung from her abode and pounced on the mighty sage, leaving him stunned. The Shogun, dazed and confused, leaped from the ground and gained his composure.

That's me, bitch! Let's do this...

The Ninja Spirit was half the size of Shogun, and so they each fought their battles in their own unique style. Shogun with brute force, The Ninja Spirit, light and quick. They both fought valiantly and neither waned in their determination to win. The Ninja Spirit, defending that which was rightly hers...Shogun, driven by ambition and pride while seeking the glory in the acquisition of the pink astral sphere.

It's ON now!

Showcasing my favorite drinks in this campaign for #millerlite and #tab. Love my Ninja and Shogun .
Posted by Diane Henderson Carlisle on Saturday, December 19, 2015

When the battle was over, The Ninja Spirit paused with caution, taking in shallow breaths. Still shocked at her loss, she watched on as the ferret sage extracted the pink astral sphere from her branded domain. Without her sphere, she would have to find another place to practice her skills and build on her talents.

Mine! All MINE!!

With yet another challenge mastered, Shogun's desire to return with the sphere to share his success with the master human diminished. It no longer felt like success to simply take what belonged to another. He didn't get any real satisfaction after the acquisition. In fact, he bored quickly by the knowledge he did not actually use any of his skills to achieve this goal.

I will use the transform spell
and create!!

The Shogun, via the creative mind of the writer, mastered the transform spell in only five minutes. He felt better about learning new things, but he knew it would take lots of practice to master this newly acquired skill. But, he was impatient as all hell!

"Transform into a whole bag of
chicken flavored treats!"

Being the newbie that he was at transforming, Shogun made a very shameful mistake. The first incantation of the transform spell usually backfires when seeking objects inspired by one's own greed. Instead of a bag of chicken flavored treats he'd attempted to produce, Shogun had managed to transform the pink astral sphere into a new abode for The Ninja Spirit. A very nice one, too!

The Ninja Spirit learned the transform spell
many years ago, sucker! But thanks.

THE END

The moral of this story? You can take away my spirit, but you can't replace my knowledge. Please read more ferret fun on my blog. If you enjoy my ferrets, Shogun and Ninja, as much as I enjoy sharing, leave a comment and let me know to produce more! They ask that you please like them on Facebook. :)

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The Great Escape - Two If By Stove

Nobody works harder than my ferrets when trying to make an escape from the kitchen. Being that today is Labor Day, I'm devoting some time and space on my blog to salute two very rambunctious and determined babies, Ninja and Shogun, the newest additions to my family.

You might ask yourself how this can help you with your writing, or with any other aspect of your life. Watch the video and tell me if it doesn't inspire you to keep at it, no matter where you find yourself in life, career, or maybe even in a bad relationship that you're trying to turn around for the better. If these two critters can fight this hard, so can you. Happy Labor Day!

And by the way, shortly after this video was shot, Shogun, the lighter colored one, made his escape and I found him creeping around the corner in the hallway. Determination pays off I'd say.

We'll just get out when you're not home.

Always looking for some sort of weakness in the configuration of the new prison,...err, cage, Shogun is determined to find a way to escape from this Alcatraz of all ferret cages. Nothing but the best for my babies. Here is a photo of Shogun before he got himself stuck trying to escape when I reached in to replace a blanket.

Just before he tried his first
cage escape.

Shogun is happy to have his very own hammock. Prison life isn't so bad. He seems to be okay with hot pink.

Don't have a problem with pink, but
fuzzy? Really?

"Can we negotiate another hour of play time? No? Then can we dim the lights please? Maybe put a blanket over the cage so it doesn't seem like we're actually locked up?"

They're not high maintenance. Not at all!

You can say no to this face?

"Can you please keep the noise down? All that cooing and staring at me is creeping me out. Stalk much?"

By the way, I'm a big deal. A really big deal.

Good night!

60 to 0 in one blog post!

Now, get back to work! But first, you have to tell me what you're working on.  =) Go get coffee. I'll wait. Leave a comment.




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