Bikes May Use Full Lane

There exists a bit of irony with this sign because there are two meanings here, literally.

Biker Perspective

You have permission to use the full lane whenever you like. Bikes may use full lane.

Motorist Perspective

Beware of idiots. Bikes may use full lane.

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Goodbye Hollywood, I'm off to The Daytona 500!

I look so short without heels on!

Yes, I boycotted the Oscars. Just like I boycotted the NFL, the Grammys, and the Screen Actors Guild Awards. I refuse to watch any show which chooses to use its platform for anything other than its intended purpose: entertain everyone while patting themselves on the back for a job well-done. They've all gone political.

Instead, I chose to spend some time with Charles at the Daytona 500 race. I had so much fun and I didn't have to sit around listening to a bunch of Hollywood elites bashing our country and our president. Thank goodness for NASCAR. :P

Unlike these awards shows, I've never even watched a NASCAR race on television, so this was a novelty for me to actually BE there in the stands, taking photos, filming flybys, and drinking beer. Talk about stress-free living and camaraderie. Quit whining and get out there and have some fun with your fellow Americans, and quit listening to this consistent message in the media that everything is going to hell.

You know what? The Daytona 500 sold out of seats this year. Can you say that about any NFL games, including the Super Bowl? I heard the Oscars had the lowest ratings since 2008. Ouch.

Enjoy the photos, and leave me some comments. All are welcome, just be kind to each other!

We had just got on the tractor trolley that took us to the buses.

I have a camera that likes to be creative and it spit this out. 

Outside the stadium before the race.

Getting ready to enter the Daytona International Speedway
stadium for the first time ever.

And here we are!

This is what sold out looks like. THIS is living life and not
whining about politics. Don't give yourself ulcers!

Creative Zoom this is called. Love it.

Waiting to see shit talking and fighting, but it never happened.

One of the better close up photos I took.

Excited crowd.

It was hard to capture photos this clear
when the cars were going so fast!

The side of the track where most of the crashes happened.

We had seats high enough, we could see the backside.

Pit stops were amazing!

My guy, Keselowski in the Miller Lite car! lol

Sun has gone done and we are in the shade....cool out.

The blimp is last because that's when it showed up! Last.

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Creepy Elf on the Shelf - Don't Do This!!

This is not a rant. I only have a few words to share. It's about this elf on the shelf motif used to get children involved in the spirit of Christmas. You know, the idea that Santa Claus is watching them so they better be good or else they won't get any presents? Yeah, that elf is a spy.

Some responsible parents like to get creative and spice it up here and there to keep there kids excited. I can imagine the awe in children as they discover the family elf has met a new friend and invited them over. Or maybe the family elf has decided to explore other areas of the home. After all, staying on the shelf in one position is just boring. This isn't an option in a family home where the parents are far from boring people, right? We can't have that!

Creative and well intentioned trends start off as simple competitions. I get that. But social media will be there to taunt folks into stepping it up a notch. Then we run into some serious issues. And you wonder why your millennial needs therapy.

Here are my ten inappropriate elf on the shelf displays and the reasons why I think they are inappropriate.

You think you're clever now, but one day they will be old enough to watch American Pie and they will never visit you again during the Christmas holidays. The grand kids will be off limits.

You would be better off to have the family elf kill off a giant stuffed spider or some other creepy victim. Never Elmo or any Sesame Street character for that matter. This is absolutely inappropriate. 

You know there is absolutely nothing wrong with this display, except for the fact that the family elf is capturing the scene for his own sick pleasure, further teaching your children that the objectification of young girls is okay. So inappropriate!

After the last three displays I shared, do you see how this is inappropriate?  

The family elf teams up with the infamous bad boy, Chucky. Together, they encourage children to commit cannibalism. Yes, Frosty the snowman came alive you ignoramus!

And you wonder why your kids seem to think everything belongs in the toilet. This, exactly this. Congratulations.

Suddenly little Johnny has stopped brushing his teeth? You don't say! Now he's a teenager and smells like shit all the time. You know they learn poor hygiene somewhere, right? Gee, I wonder where.

I'm all for encouraging kids to earn an allowance so they can buy themselves the things they want. But the family elf is sitting on a jar of baby food, so I think the kids are a little young for parents to start indoctrinating them into this sordid thing. They need to be old enough to actually work for their allowance, don't you think?

How to be Classy 101. Because a wine glass is commonly displayed with a roll of toilet paper and a can of Glade air freshener. The kid who grows up in this household is going to be a true romantic, I can almost guarantee it. 

Because breaking the law is so inappropriate. I don't know that this household has any children in it, but I'm guessing they didn't just go out and purchase a Barbie doll because this was just such a cool idea they had to spend upwards of $30.00 for that perfect display. No, they have children. And yes, this is inappropriate.

If you don't want to traumatize your kids, now or in the future, stay away from inappropriate displays with your family elf! Yes, kids are resilient. But they have memories like you wouldn't believe.

Do any of you have a favorite elf on the shelf display? Please share them in the comments below. I won't get onto you if it's inappropriate. There are no small children out here in the Blogosphere! 👀



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More English Bulldog Photos - Macey!!

I couldn't resist!

Power puppy on couch

What happened to all the power?

She knows she's not allowed to touch the decor.

But she does it anyway!

Merry Christmas!  Or, Happy Holidays! Whichever pertains. Just be safe out there.

:)

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My First Ever Demolition Derby

You all know that I'm one to try new things, right? Get ready for this one!

Okay, so I wasn't sure what I was going to experience, but sitting in the stand and watching the showboating, careening of metal, and mudslinging of pure earthly product, was actually a lot of fun. It reminded me that not everything in life that you create must be kept hidden away and protected from damage. The things you create produce no glory if others cannot see it and challenge it with their own creations. 

Here's a 9-minute video of the last heat of the demolition derby. We were up high enough to avoid the assault of flying dirt and debris, but the air reeked of smoke and burning rubber. Somehow, it was nostalgic and comforting.

When was the last time you experienced something for the first time? I guess I need to get out more often.   :)



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A Lesson on Dating Your Story

I found a note I'd written on Facebook back in 2009 and after reading it, this whole thing about dating your stories is much clearer. I hadn't realized back then what I was really writing about. But, let me share it here and you will see the elements of time and distance as it happens in relationships. Take from it what you will, but I enjoyed reminiscing! All based on true stories.

Fishing (22 years ago)

He baits my hook and shows me how to cast. I think I am doing pretty good, but am embarrassed.

I think to myself that he looks so cool doing something totally foreign to me, but I want to spend time with him and learn what he's doing and learn why it's something he enjoys. I love him so much and want to be a part of his world.

My heart skips a beat when I feel a nibble on my line.

I jump, "Oh my goodness...what was that?"

He smirks, "Just a nibble...let me show you how to hook one when that happens."

He comes over and puts his arms around me and gently guides my hands over the pole. I'm hoping he doesn't feel my sudden reaction. I guess he could make fun of me and laugh at my incompetence but he doesn't. I know I love him that much more.

Shortly into the day, I manage to tangle my line. He fixes it with a smile on his face. I also manage to let go of an entire "rigged" pole. We watch it float away. It was probably REALLY expensive, too.

His response is an amused chuckle and a gentle smile of tolerance and admiration.



Fast forward 22 years

He's prepping our daughter's rod. I try to be helpful and prep ours to save time. I do it wrong, of course. I tangle one line accidentally...now he's pissed. I forgot to loop the line over some stupid lip. Duh.

I back away and let him fix it.

I check my Blackberry for updates. One update on Twitter...OMG, a celebrity just posted another pic! Facebook update from three friends. Spend some time reading updates on the Blackberry.

He scowls at me and hands me a freshly baited pole.

I thank him, wondering if I should post a Twitter comment and respond to my friends on Facebook. I decide no. He might get pissed. I can't be so blatant about it.

Fish are not nibbling. Maybe I don't notice because I'm tuned into crackberry notifications. Either way, no notifications, but my daughter catches a fish! Her friend catches a fish! OMG. Time to take a picture...NOBODY MOVE!!!!! Pictures captured, moments saved!! WOOHOO!

Maybe I can post them to Facebook? I look over and he's watching. I quietly slip my Blackberry into my pocket.

Back to baiting, waiting, listening....nothing! I'm impatient. Maybe it's the crackberry calling me. I wonder if I can type blindly with my hand in my pocket.

I let go one hand and the rig falls from the pier. Into the ocean. Not good.


Suddenly, my Twitter feed updates and the crackberry bleeps. I pretend I don't hear it. He pretends he doesn't know I'm pretending. We both just watch as the pole floats away.



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Scary Story in 5 Words

The newest trending hashtag on Twitter is #ScaryStoryIn5Words and here are my top 10 favorites!


Scary Story #10

"Congress: Obama gets another term!" #ScaryStoryIn5Words

— Hunter Robinson (@HunterCRobinson) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #9

Where did that spider go #ScaryStoryIn5Words

— #JusticeForMary (@babsbear) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #8

"Your password does not match" #ScaryStoryIn5Words pic.twitter.com/adm7e1P3Gr

— traderandsponser❤️ (@scotty1234xx) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #7

Oh my God, I'm pregnant. #ScaryStoryIn5Words

— SASSYPIEHOLE (@sassypiehole) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #6

This is our freakin future! #ScaryStoryIn5Words pic.twitter.com/Tiq3g0arSD

— Fish Daddy Cupcake (@fishdaddy37) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #5

#ScaryStoryIn5Words Your character has been deleted.

— pepto-abysmal alix (@ShaofHappiness) October 31, 2014

Scary Story #4

#scarystoryin5words Do you take this woman..?

— LolWtfIdkStfuIdgaf (@Mulatto_Burrito) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #3

"Your 45th President, Donald Trump!" #ScaryStoryIn5Words pic.twitter.com/l757wOEJyv

— Bob Melone (@BobMelone) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #2

#ScaryStoryIn5Words Marriages That Ended On FaceBook https://t.co/GKwM29KdKJ

— Melissa (@PLZ_4_RT) October 20, 2015

Scary Story #1

And the frog's gonna watch. #ScaryStoryIn5Words @midnight pic.twitter.com/V8rIJoQ4Z0

— Jonesy (@JonesyBeGood) October 20, 2015

Share your favorite #ScaryStoryIn5Words in the comments below and Happy Halloween, Blogosphere!


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A Funny Thing Happened When - A Writing Prompt

For the first time in several years I have the flu. While at home feeling miserable as all fuck, I decided to take my mind off my misery by finding a creative writing prompt. I chose the grade level twelve, because what the hell, I think I qualify. In an attempt to lighten my mood I chose "A Funny Thing Happened When..."

Do you know how difficult it is to remember funny things when you have the flu? It's really hard, but I found one. This happened when two sisters discovered they are just too close in age. Everything my sister and I learned in our social circles: the good, the bad, the ugly, we learned at the same time and practiced on each other. Like the middle finger snap to the forehead. That was the ugly.

This kind of ugly, for real.

It was I who had practiced on my sister. Who knew I'd be successful in landing the perfect blow on the first try? She certainly didn't. I think I actually felt the surprise on my own face, even as I looked at the anger which crept onto hers.

I took off and she took off after me. I knew I had to get away, because though she was smaller than me, she would beat the shit out of you if she were mad enough, and boy was she mad!

Kind of like this

I felt I got away because we were yards apart when I reached the door in the hallway. All I had to do was get through that door and shut it right in the demon's face. I pulled on the knob and my knees buckled. My physical self got ahead of my practical self and I forgot to turn the handle. My entire body slammed into the wooden obstacle and all I could think was, "I'm going down." I may have even silently thought about Will Robinson.

I think I may have been 15 or 16 years old at the time, but if you can imagine a grown me screaming, "Ma! Ma! Dad!" at the top of my lungs before busting out into laughter, that's the image I want you to keep, because I don't recall what happened from that point forward. Each time we get together, we talk about this incident, but we never get past the laughter to finish the story.

Me and my sister, St. Marks 2012

I hope you will enjoy your own writing prompt. Please share them in the comments or link to your blog post. I'll especially enjoy it if you choose the same topic. I need the cheer and entertainment.



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Building Relationships Through Communication

I hate that I've been away from my Blog friends out here, but I've been on vacation. It was a sweet vacation I spent with family, new friends, and other important people in my life, so eventually I knew I'd neglect this aspect of my world. But alas, I have some things to share: chat pics!

I decided that since my school work in communications has taken up so much of my time from 2014 to 2015, I'd compare and contrast a previous year of communication as evidenced by chats between me and my daughter, Chelsey.

No worries, I will soon share others from my son and late husband, Tim. However, their chats were not nearly as entertaining and revealing. :)

In a previous year, Chelsey wanted to piggy back off our minority status as Asians and so I put her in check. Then she put me in check.

She complained that I was too strict as a parent just before her 18th birthday when she wanted to get a tattoo and I wouldn't let her. We calmly worked it out.

She left her clothes lying around my house so that when I attempted to get dressed in the mornings, I would experience unnecessary trauma to my delicate and over-sensitive ego. Then she made me realize how ridiculous I was being.

She came through on just about every promise she ever made. Then, in her own way, she reminded me that she still has the upper hand in proving that I'm an over-protective, over-meddling, but very much loved mom. :D

She still makes me proud by letting me know we're still on the same page, even though I diluted that gene pool quite a bit. I'm kidding!!! It's a racist Asian joke.

If you haven't looked back to see how far you've come with your communication style, it's time to take note. There's always room for improvement. If you know me, you know I'm all about the progress!

Do you save your favorite text messages? Maybe you should start.



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