Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mistakes. Show all posts

23 March 2017

Bikes May Use Full Lane


There exists a bit of irony with this sign because there are two meanings here, literally.





Biker Perspective

You have permission to use the full lane whenever you like. Bikes may use full lane.


Motorist Perspective

Beware of idiots. Bikes may use full lane.





Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

17 March 2017

Why Good Programs Get Cut From Budget

 It comes as no surprise to me that cuts made by the Trump administration are upsetting many people on the left and the right. Why is it that some programs get cut from a budget and others do not? Why would a wonderful program which goes to such a great cause get defunded? How heartless can people be?

There are many programs out there and when it comes time to make the cut, nobody wants their group of people to suffer. So, let us assume that every single program is a good program, or else why in the world would it have ever gotten a green light to proceed, correct? But if we can agree that we need cuts, let's not decide based on who has the most heartwarming cause or helps the most likable people.

I don't want to throw money in a jar for a program that promises to feed the hungry year after year with literally no established results. So, if we can agree on this, let's look at why a great program might get cut before another program that doesn't sound AS great!


When program cuts are made, the first thing to look at are the goals and objectives of the program. Have they been met? Why make cuts in some programs and not in others? Because programs funded by the people (taxpayers) must perform toward their original promised goals and objectives and prove to be effective based on measurable data. To see what that looks like, note the following example:


Goal

The goal is a universal and idealistic vision. It is a promise to whomever is funding the campaign/project/journey (taxpayers), that it will increase or decrease X by some factor.
Our program goal is to increase productivity in the classroom by 25%. We will do this by implementing a regimented nutrition program in public schools. 
This means that showing a correlation between a regimented nutrition program and an increase in productivity is prudent, right? Fair enough.


Objectives

Objectives are those completed tasks which will impact, in a positive way, the goal. The objectives, once measured, will show the increase or decrease in X, which was the goal.

  1. Establish a baseline classroom productivity scale. Word.
  2. Make public schools decrease the amount of fatty foods served in their lunch programs. Nobody will complain about this one.
  3. Public schools will remove vending machines from cafeterias. Meh, okay.
  4. Provide public schools with wheat grass supplemental snacks during recess. OMG, please! But okay, let's see what you got.
  5. Conduct an annual classroom productivity survey to measure against the established baseline. Duh!


Measurement of Success

Believe it or not, success doesn't just happen. Accomplishing goals and objectives isn't as straight forward as winning the Superbowl. It's not as concrete as winning a spelling bee.

When there are objectives to meet, those objectives must be measured to show success. Measurable data can either prove or disprove that the objectives had an impact on the goal. So, it is important to collect this data to determine the success of a program.

Are we able to produce the results that will show our program has been a success?
Oh, I'm sorry. Were we supposed to be measuring data somewhere?
CUT!

Don't blame Trump. Blame the program administrators for not producing measurable results!

Please read the following language pulled from the actual Trump budget cuts proposal:

Economic Development Administration ($221 million): The Trump budget says it has "limited measurable impacts and duplicates other federal programs."

Minority Business Development Agency ($32 million): The White House says this minority business incubator program is "duplicative" of other programs in the Small Business Administration.

McGovern-Dole International Food for Education program ($202 million): Trump's budget says the program — a sort of Third World school lunch project — "lacks evidence that it is being effectively implemented to reduce food insecurity."

21st Century Community Learning Centers program ($1.2 billion): The formula grants to states support before- and after-school and summer programs. "The programs lacks strong evidence of meeting its objectives, such as improving student achievement," the budget says.

Community Development Block Grant program ($3 billion): CDBG has been a bread-and-butter funding source for local communities for 42 years, totaling more than $150 billion in grants over its history. "The program is not well-targeted to the poorest populations and has not demonstrated results," Trump's budget says.


What cut programs have you puzzled and/or fuming?


Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

22 November 2016

What Can Be Worse Than Turning 50?

I thought turning 50 would be devastating, but it wasn't. Not when compared to all the other things that happened the first thing in the morning on my 50th birthday.

Every morning, I ensure Macey makes it from the kennel to the back door in less than 15 seconds. This is the amount of time it takes for her to register a full bladder. That didn't happen this morning.

I had been so proud of her, too. She has never made a dropping in her kennel until this morning, the morning of my 50th birthday. Did I mention that I'm 50 today?

Not only did Macey make a rather large deposit, but it was a loose one. She was so distraught over it that she tried to escape it, trampling it again and again. I can only imagine from the looks of things, she must have made several attempts to rid her paws of the foul smelling goo.

This cleanup job would need some forward thinking. The longer I stood there and contemplated my first moves, the more Macey yiped with anxiety. I made a decision. I would clean the ten-pound puppy first, put her outside, and then tackle the rest of the mess in a methodical approach. I was not prepared for the sheer force of puppy power when I opened the kennel door. Macey sprang from her cage and plowed into my arms.

Fuck me, right?

So, I cleaned and disinfected everything, including her squeaky toy and tug rope. I placed a new puppy training pad in the kennel. I brought Macey back inside to feed her. I bumped the glass beaker off the table and it fell onto the ceramic floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces. The loud noise scared Macey. She sprinted across the kitchen to the other side and pissed on the floor.

Now, if you're having a bad day, cheer up! It could be worse. You could be turning 50.






Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

22 September 2016

Leadership is Missing in America

The last time I wrote a controversial piece was the jury deliberations in The State of Florida vs. Zimmerman case. Pundits lost the message as they set out to start another narrative about gun ownership. The media loves to have two sides to any controversy. It creates drama and tension for their ratings, but it's still not a solution to a problem.


I think people speaking out about Kaepernick's right to protest isn't a solution either. All you manage to pull off is discover how many supporters each side has in their court. Kaepernick is an ignorant young man. He protested on the only stage he has and it just happens to be a large stage with a captive audience. It was a controversial thing to do and this fact is diluting his message. Those types of protests are ineffective. How does this help the communities that are deteriorating?


These communities are in need of strong leaders to serve as role models. Leaders don't burn down buildings, loot businesses, and disrespect the American flag.  Leaders evolve and rise to the top, but nobody is taking the lead inside these communities. Athletes with large stages protest but never step foot in the communities that are in trouble. And the leaders in the NFL community? From nowhere are they heard. Sad, isn't it? Let's put this in perspective here:


In 2012, the NFL fined the San Diego Chargers $20,000 because they failed to surrender towels on time when directed to do so by an NFL official.
 In 2014, the Cleveland Browns general manager used an electronic device many times. The NFL suspended him for the first four games of the 2015 season. The team incurred a $250,000 fine.


If these athletes are so passionate about making a difference, they should get involved. If black lives matter, go to the office of the Mayor and demand more. Go to the local leaders in the legislature and protest. Campaign to throw out ineffective leaders. The lazy way out is to sit out the national anthem while collecting millions from your fans and sponsors. This is why I'm boycotting the NFL. Maybe when the network ratings drop, the sponsors will wake up.


There is a bigger issue here than black lives or blue lives. It's about leadership and the lack of it in places where it's needed the most. When are the leaders going to step up and do something about it? There are generous black celebrities who use their wealth and power to help out black causes. Yet, the communities that need the most are those where it seems the only folks who visit are the cops.

These young athletes could use a reminder from Dr. King.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige and even his life for the welfare of others.   
    --Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.








Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

16 May 2016

Sexist Promotional Materials - Communications

Will they ever come out with a course entitled Communication Skills for Men? The subtitle could be "How to achieve results without causing conflict and chaos among your dedicated and very competent staff."






I'm not being ugly, but a man MUST have written this course ware. Seriously. The last time I attended one of these seminars "for women" half the registrants were men!

We could all use some guidance here. Stop this nonsense of calling out women as if we are the only ones lacking in communications skills. Men have just as much room for growth in this department. We need just one seminar, "Professional Communication Skills."

Get it? How hard is that?



Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

14 December 2015

Tech Tip: Stop Following That Nuisance!

Remember that funny article you read eons ago and then decided, "Hey, why not follow that fun blog so I can get more articles from this blogger to show up in my Blogger feed when they post new content?"

Yeah, me too.

Suddenly, the blog disappears and a new blog shows up in your reader stream and you aren't familiar with the name, but ALL THESE DAMNED POSTS BY NEW BLOGGER ARE SHOWING UP IN YOUR FEED!!!!!!!

Am I upset? Yes I am.

Why? Because I can't find the answer (anywhere) on how the fuck I am supposed to stop following this annoying pest who keeps changing the name of their blog and importing in gazillions of posts at a time which now populate my feed, making it look like they were all posted within the last few minutes and drowning out all the other articles I wish to read instead. When I do find instructions written by some Google expert, they error out because of the many phases of integration and upgrades throughout the years and the evolution of growing widgets that compromise each other.

I don't want my blogger feed spammed with 50 articles asking for me to review movies. Get that shit the fuck off my blogger feed! But how the hell do you do it?

Remember the Google Follower widget from years ago called Google Friend Connect? Do you have one of these on your site?



If you do, you're in luck. Click the Options drop down and select Site Settings.




When your profile opens, click on Sites You've Joined. I'm going to make a suggestion to Google that they change this to Undo Stupid Choices I've Made.




In the graphic below, I've photoshopped out all the blogs I follow so that anyone who gets pissed off at me for showing folks how to unfollow them will not commence to harassing my favorite bloggers out here. Just saying, I look out for my people.




You're welcome.




Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

18 September 2015

The Ethical Hacker - Oxymoron

Someone in my class used this term earlier this week and I had to respond to it. I'm tired of people using these two words together as if anyone at a professional level wouldn't be completely offended by it. There is no such thing as an ethical hacker. Please stop using these two words together. They make up the truest oxymoron in existence today. DON'T DO IT!


hacker
[hak-er]

noun
1. a person or thing that hacks.
2. Slang. a person who engages in an activity without talent or skill:
3.Computers.

a. a person who has a high level of skill in computer technology or programming; a computer expert or enthusiast.

b. a person who circumvents security and breaks into a network, computer, file, etc., usually with malicious intent.


ethical
[eth-i-kuh l]

adjective
1. pertaining to or dealing with morals or the principles of morality; pertaining to right and wrong in conduct.

2. being in accordance with the rules or standards for right conduct or practice, especially the standards of a profession.



Seriously, I don't like the term ethical hacker. Professional experts who access systems using skills other than ones known to the average user are not hackers, a term connoting persons hacking away at something until they gain access to what is needed. An expert who legally utilizes skills in order to access systems does so in a methodical approach.

What makes it legal is the owner of the system requests their expertise to assist in accessing areas where they've lost capabilities in doing so. There's no reason to tie the word "ethical" to a negative term in order to indicate the opposite of that term which refers to IT professionals who already carry titles such as Systems Engineers, Network Analysts, Security Analysts, etc.

Hackers are criminals. There is nothing "ethical" about hacking. You are gaining access to a system in which you do not have permission to access. Would you ever refer to a locksmith as an ethical burglar?


Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

28 June 2015

How Not to Get Eaten by a Shark

I've been hearing lots about sharks this past couple of weeks, from videos on Facebook to news stories, even major headlines across the nation. West Coast, East Coast, the Gulf? Name it, there was a shark mentioned or video taped. Oh my gosh, a shark! Look at it...swimming. There...in the ocean!

This morning I'd had enough when a Fox News anchor asked of his guest, "Tell us, share with us, Chris, just how do folks stay safe from shark attacks this Summer?"

This, folks, is why I decided to study Communications. It's to help claw my way back to sanity. Seriously. Here's an excerpt from a news source:

San Diego lifeguards also depend on helicopters to track shark activity. The town of Seal Beach, California, made headlines recently by using drones to monitor sharks.

So we invade their habitat and waste tons of resources monitoring it like a militarized zone? Nice.

Here's a novel idea. How about STAY OUT OF THE FREAKING OCEAN!





End rant.



Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

07 June 2015

Race Relations - Character Diversity in RPGs

I'm sharing with you a concept I learned in my Global Communication class, the idea of a message coming down to the basic human condition. What better way to explore the condition of race and diversity, on a level we can each see for ourselves. Don't get defensive. Just know that we are all racist in some aspect or another. Accept it, find it in your own lives, and then deal with it. Now, I'll explain how we can do this.

Let's say in a classic text based role-playing game (RPG) every class of character is built with a different set of properties. So for example, I may play a human at 6'1" and maybe 210 lbs. If I have 200 hit points, 85 endurance points, and 300 spell points, as a basic human, I will have different reactions in game movement than another character of a different race.




If I get hit badly, I may lose a lot of blood (hit points), but then I might heal faster than the other guy. I may elect to heal myself by eating various types of food items or by consuming healing potions obtained within the gaming environment. Otherwise, I could be a cheap ass and wait for time to pass in order to heal my wounds.

A game may have a timer on restoration of hit points and maybe one set of characters has a different calculation in rate of restoration than another. That's how you distinguish races/classes in an RPG, in other words, diversity!

If the other guy is a cleric, he can heal himself with his spell points, which also restore at a particular rate with time. Either way, the dynamics of gaming, together in this sense, can be very rewarding or very exasperating. Diversity is a wonderful thing. You expend points dependent upon the situation: how aggressive the creature is, how much energy is required to swing your weapon, how far away you are in proximity to the creature, and even how protected you are with the armor you are wearing.




When fighting beside another character in a party, you have to be mindful of one another, else things could become fatal. One situation you might find yourself in is becoming idle, waiting because you are partying with someone who doesn't mind sitting around healing with the passing of time rather than using other resources like food and potions to bind their wounds (maybe they didn't know where to acquire such resources, but how would you know). One such example happened to me years ago, when my character was out hunting with an elf. I say the word elf with derision and note how classless they are. Now that's racist!

The examples I show below will have a black background because that's my favorite config when it comes to text based RPGs. So, after an exhausting battle with an aggressive ogre, I looked at my partner the elf, and this is what I saw:



He is in critical condition!

The text is in red to connote blood. The next stage after healing a bit might be something like so:

He is bleeding profusely!


This movement from one stage of injury to the next would indicate he is getting better (his hit points are slowly being restored) and we would be able to continue on and look for other creatures to kill, but in the condition he was in (critical), it was best to remain where we were - out of harms way. Patience may be a virtue, but I don't have any while gaming because...well just because. I alternated screens while waiting for him to heal. I decided to do some writing, so my attention was elsewhere until I returned about 15 minutes later to see the following text on my screen:


Elf says, "So, what you been up too?"

Elf looks at you.

Elf pokes you.

Elf says, "You must be thinking really hard about something."

Elf dances around and snorts.


I felt guilty as hell. I should have taken the time to role-play and get to know the character a bit. Maybe some interesting dialogue might have occurred. But, this was a missed opportunity.

I take another look at the elf:


He is in critical condition!


What the hell?! Now I'm pissed because this guy is such a cheap asshole. I never played an elf so I have no idea why he's not healing quicker, but I'll be damned if I wait around all night for this fucker to heal. I know food costs money, but time is money for me as well, maybe not for him.


You say to Elf, "EAT something!"


Then I realize how lame I was being. This is completely out of character in a game where role-play is strictly enforced. What should have happened was something like so:


You kneel beside Elf.
You say to Elf, "Here, let me bind some of your wounds."
You give sirloin steak to Elf.
You give sirloin steak to Elf.
You give sirloin steak to Elf.

Elf consumes sirloin steak.
Elf consumes sirloin steak.
Elf consumes sirloin steak.

You look at Elf.

He is slightly wounded.

You give Elf a thumbs up!

You say, "Ready?"

Elf nods.

Elf exits North
You exit North


If this makes you giggle, fine! But that's how we do it. Now, when you look at it from this perspective, it is kind of funny, but hell...you can't beat text based RPGs.

When we gamers get together like this, we bond like no other group of people you will ever meet! If the rest of the world could show some tolerance and compassion for one another like so, it might be a better world. Just saying.

I can only imagine how the perspective must have looked from the other side.




Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

29 May 2015

Strategic Gaming - Learning and Advancing

Okay, like...WHAT?? It's mine!
I know getting killed in a game can be somewhat painful depending on how far you've made it to the next check point, but the development of gaming expertise comes with some pretty specific criteria, namely knowing how to build your skill set.

With the game controller being the only input device utilized during game play (besides the inner workings of your brain), it is important to master all of the additional features packed into the already complex mechanism.

Once you've mastered the controls, the next important concept to wrap your brain around is strategy. If you're going to die (and you are), you must die in a manner which will produce the most efficient and effective ratio of learning to advancement. I'll explain.

Learning = how much knowledge and skill you develop while utilizing the controller through the duration of game scenarios

Advancement = the swiftness and accuracy with which you utilize the controller while advancing through game scenarios

I'm providing two examples below, and if you or anybody you know is in the tech field, you already know this. It's okay to die often if your method is to collect data in order to advance your knowledge.

Example #1

You've recently acquired a Longbow and 10 arrows and wish to try out your new weapon, so when a zombie appears in the distance, oh say about 70 yards away, you immediately mount an arrow, aim, and fire off that pointy stick. You miss and quickly try again. By the time the zombie is 10 feet in front of you, you've used up all but one arrow and BLAM! You finally sink one deep into its chest.

Now you'll spend your time advancing forward, searching for more arrows to replenish your stock. But you won't find any before you pass the next check point and another zombie latches onto your jugular and you die. When your life is restored, you still have no arrows. Learning=1, Advancement=1

Example #2

Same scenario, but when you spot the zombie 70 yards away, you mount an arrow, aim, and wait for the zombie to get within 10 feet before firing. You miss because you hadn't quite had enough time to learn the controls, it was your first shot! The zombie devours your jugular and you die.

When your life is restored, you have all your 10 arrows and you try it again, over and over until you succeed in killing it with one arrow before advancing through the game, passing through two more checkpoints and expertly killing another zombie or two along the way. Learning=1, Advancement=2

The moral here? Maybe it's not really a moral, more of a preference in game play for me. I'd rather learn first than to go in like a blind mouse in search of cheese. You'll get further in the long run, but that's just my opinion.



Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

23 May 2015

Wounded Pride and Ryan Gosling

This kind of sucks because it has to do with my growing older and my poor eyesight.

Having a thread of hair latch onto your sock is natural, shit happens. Time for a good vacuum. But when the thread is trailed by a knot of hair, which to a semi blind person looks like a hairy spider, and every step to get away invites that spider to essentially jump after you? Not so good!

Yeah, I toppled over before seeing it was actually a clump of hair. It took getting that close up to realize how bad my eyes have deteriorated. Then I just couldn't get the picture of Ryan Gosling out of my mind.

Here's to making progress. Not!







09 May 2015

There Was A Spider In My Car

I'm not certain how many of you are aware of my fear of spiders. This fear is plenty greater than my fear of death, and from what happened today, I've come to realize that phobias cannot be defeated with rational calm logic. I know this. It's a fact. Don't lecture me either. Not after I'd tried to put on a brave front. I really did!




Driving in your car doing 60 miles per hour is not the place to encounter things which freak you out, but there it was. It emerged from the bottom shadow of the speedometer. Though it wasn't a huge spider, it was large enough its sudden movement caught my eye. First instinct was to release the stirring wheel because my hands were the closest to it. I couldn't do it. I knew the minute I moved, that sucker would jump on me and I'd have a heart attack, taking out the two cars beside me and the one in back.

I remained calm though. I knew I could handle this situation like an adult. I just needed to find something I could use to kill it. As messy as my car had been, I couldn't even find one napkin. But I did find a plastic straw sticking out of a Styrofoam cup. Perfect!

I reached over and pulled the straw out of the plastic lid. The spider had crouched up against the casing of the speedometer, but I could see his entire brown body against the black panel of my dashboard. I darted my eyes back to my windshield to monitor the traffic. More as a gauge to determine the most opportune moment to stab at and impale the spider. At least that was my intention. But I overestimated the size of the thing.

I have to give myself credit though. I was a great aim! I managed to encase the entire spider safely within the opening of the clear plastic tube just long enough to register it was darting up and skittering quickly toward the other end, the end I was still holding on to! I managed to fling the straw away but not before blaring horns and screeching tires told me I'd completely lost control of my car.

I pulled over to the side of the road and sprung from my car, wiping my arms really hard, trying to brush away the creepy feeling that had washed over me. Another honk. Fuck off! People are so insensitive.




I'm telling you. You cannot cure phobias! You cannot suppress these fears. They live in your genes. Can you even comprehend this?

GAH! I'm getting the creeps just writing about it!

Do you have a phobia? Please share so I don't feel like such a basket-case.


Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

04 May 2015

The Last of Us - Newbie ALERT!

At the end of my first semester at Purdue, I decided to reward myself with the new PS4 500GB The Last of Us Remastered Bundle. For all you non-gamers out there, it's the latest in a series of competing console gaming systems feeding the zombie craze.

What did I do with my last weekend of the semester? I wasted 4 hours of my life mastering the demise of the newbie zombie slayer. One can't just simply go to school, make good grades, and never achieve anything more of significant value, right?

After attaining my newest checkpoint: this is the point in the game where you will return when you die or become disconnected during game play. In newbie terms, this is where you will spend a lot of your time.

You can sit here and ponder what will kill you next, or you can move forward in the game, get killed, and ponder what happened after the fact. Either way, the goal is to get to the next checkpoint without dying so much that the game play isn't any fun. But don't delude yourself. You WILL die.

One of the many things you will learn as a newbie zombie slayer is how to be a forward thinker. This is a skill which we all need to master and it comes with experience, some pretty painful ones. It's why we don't make the same mistakes twice (most of the time). It's a shame I have to relearn this while playing a game which takes place in a zombie infested world of non-thinkers on a mindless quest for brains. Wait, that sounds too much like reality. Where have I seen this before?

One thing to keep in mind is not to shoot at everything you think might be out to get you. My big mistake was popping off the only 6 rounds I had into an NPC needing my help. I should have realized shooting him was a moot point when the first round did not achieve any significant change in my environment, and the man maintained this cool steady gaze while pleading for help, "Please, help me..."

How ironic I kept hearing those same words screaming in my head, realizing there were zombies close by and I was out of ammunition. Time to learn some new combat skills! It takes a sick mind to develop these games.

Sneaking up on a zombie can be a lot of fun. Your adrenaline is pumping and they can't see you. I found one standing in a room, completely unaware of my presence because I had stealth mode activated. It thrilled me to strangle it with my bare hands and loot ammo from its decaying body! My ego was severely deflated however, when shortly afterward, I attempted to sneak up on two more zombies as they fed hungrily on human flesh. Stealth mode suddenly deactivated and I realized, as they began feeding upon me, I had not reloaded my weapon with the ammunition I had acquired from my latest kill. Hell, I wasn't even holding a gun.

Why would I be holding a gun anyway? I was gonna surprise attack and strangle the mother fuckers, so my hands had to be free, right? And remember this, when you're strangling one zombie, the others aren't going to stand around and wait for you to finish. Bon appétit!

Moral of story?


  1. Just because you successfully strangled one zombie, does not mean every attempt at killing a zombie should be with your bare hands. 
  2. When you acquire ammunition, coincidentally when you really needed it, use it, because you probably really need it.
  3. The stealthy sneak attack is pretty cool, but it's totally uncool when you are doing it wrong.


Coming soon! More zombie gaming tips for newbies.





Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

15 January 2015

Making Progress with Strategic Communication

My first discussion post for Strategic Communication class asked how we viewed communications in the past and to reflect upon the materials provided by our instructor. Which perspective did we find most helpful to our understanding of strategic communication? You all know me. I can't resist using personal experience in any challenge. This is about progress, so why not?

When Hatch (2013) mentions Malinowski’s photograph of the anthropologist observed by the natives (p. 39) it struck me as funny and reminded me of another photograph I had found years ago. In my photo, one guy is digging a hole. Joe, according to his name tag, is surrounded by several folks with similar name tags, only each of the observers has a title rather than a name, with “manager” on the end of their titles or “lead” at the front: Operations Manager, Lead Technician, Total Quality Manager, Facilities Manager, Heavy Equipment Manager, Lead Gopher, etc. all surrounding, watching, and pointing at Joe, the hole digger. Ironic? How many managers does it take to dig a hole? Zero. Just hire Joe.


This guy has no name.


I think I’ve been kicked around over the years with having a boss clearly focused on the modern organization theory and driven by the contingency theory in organizing teams, to having a new boss who might be a fan of the postmodern perspective. I’ll explain:

My old boss owned a software company and when he put me to work on a project team, I always found myself faced with clients having insatiable appetites for sabotaging my work. Though failures on my part, each project was a successful outcome for my boss, because he had predicted my failure. He would swim in terms such as risks and constraints, assumptions, deliverables, and return on investments, all things measurable.



In my blind desire to be successful, I didn't realize my boss had not placed these same criteria for success on other analysts, so I quit playing his game and played like the others, refusing to provide him with time-wasting flowcharts, timelines, and graphs. Soon enough, I was taking on projects, reaching out to clients, and making successes (completing goals and objectives I had set for myself).

The old boss has since retired, taking with him his mask of the grand narrative. I can relate with the postmodern perspective much more because of my painful experiences dictated by the tyrant.

There is no right way to do things and by the time you’ve grown accustomed to your comfort zone, someone comes along using new terminology for the same things you’ve been working on for years, but now you’ve become seated in your ways and management isn't happy. They want change. The newly employed use fancy words explaining the same symbols of the past and management is in awe.




The emerging discourse, through hidden meetings where veteran employees are excluded and new employees become heroes, plays out until someone at the top realizes there is a communication problem which if left alone could likely embarrass the organization as a whole.

It came at a meeting and was announced that our CEO made this perfectly clear. The word “dashboard” is not to be used in any context when introducing our new portal to members. He insisted there is a public profile and a personal profile. Why not the new flashy “dashboard” terminology the new guy used the other day? Because we are not implementing a DASHBOARD, it’s a personal profile page!


How much does communication or lack thereof play a part in your successes and/or failures?



Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

14 December 2014

Thug Style Seems to Work

Classes start the 2nd week of January, 2015, but God has already taken me to task and is preparing me for my journey.

The first validation came in the form of a rare and challenging moment. It was in the midst of my attempting to acquire seats on a flight after having paid $1,100.00 for airline tickets to Roanoke, VA. Being a software developer, I understand systems go down at routine intervals for maintenance and such, thereby leaving websites unavailable to provide services. I also appreciate the alternative option of picking up the phone and calling the number provided in order to finish my transaction and ensure a product with which I will be satisfied, namely, a flight with assigned seats which will allow me to travel beside my companion and love of my life.

This was my ordeal while attempting to access the telephone version of whatever system assigns seats at this particular airline:

Airline recording: Please state your confirmation number using words in place of letters, such as C as in Charlie or P as in Paul. 
Diane: G as in God, B as in Boy, D as in Dog, K as in Kelly, 2, 5. 
Airline recording: I'm sorry, your answer is confusing. Many words sound the same. Please distinguish your letters and remember, C as in Charlie or P as in Paul. Please state your confirmation number. 
Diane: G as in Good, B as in Boy, D as in door, K as in Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, 2, 5. 
Airline recording: I'm sorry, your answer is confusing. Many words sound the same. Please distinguish your letters and remember, C as in Charlie or P as in Paul. Please state your confirmation number. 
Diane: How about F*** OFF?!!!! 
Airline recording: One moment while we transfer you to someone who can further assist you.

Further assist? You haven't assisted me AT ALL. You've only managed to waste my damn time!


THIS is why I chose the Communications Program...in the name of progress, of course. It's in my purpose statement, I promise. :)

Do you find this form of open-ended communications a waste of time? When is it appropriate to provide some human intervention?


Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

08 December 2014

Word of the Day - Security

Word of the Day

Security

noun
1.
freedom from danger, risk, etc.; safety.
2.
freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.


Tim and I walked out of Walmart this evening with a handful of purchased goods and the security alarm went off. I was like, "Screw it. I'm running to the car." And I did.

I know this seems childish, but I'm tired of those things going off because some lazy cashier didn't swipe to deactivate the magnetic strip on my new PC game. That's right, it's mine. I paid for it. As definition number one states, I have the freedom from danger, risk, etc. Why? Because I have a receipt that says the product is mine. I am free from the danger of going to jail for shoplifting.


Last I checked, running is not a crime.


Walmart folks probably know they have a loose policy because human error almost always accounts for 99.9% of false alarms. So when these devices go off, nobody cares. And you know what? Nobody came after us either, and then I wondered why.

What if they had come after us? They would have checked our receipt and discovered, yet again, their security system is flawed.

Staff policy enforcer asks, "So, if you were innocent, why were you running?" 
"Because your fat ass was chasing me!"

Um, yeah. I think I did.


So why even bother to have this system in place if you're not going to run after us and check our receipts, or only do so discriminately? Sure it would be embarrassing to cause such a ruckus in the parking lot, but if you're using the alarm system as a deterrent, then you have to police a little better than this, right?

The funnier matter is watching the alarm go off on other folks who haven't gotten fed up just yet. They look around all astonished, turn back toward the store workers, hands and bags in the air hoping for assistance, and all the while, they have shock and disgrace written all over their faces.


WTF!? I paid for this shit!


A worker then walks toward the victim, who has now attracted the attention of every single person in the store, and says, "Oh, that's okay. Someone probably just forgot to swipe the security strip on a product you bought." They wave at the customer and motion for her to go ahead and leave, as if that customer had been officially detained somehow.

This is an example of the second definition of security. The store worker has the freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence. She's confident that something didn't get swiped. How so? Because, SHE forgets to do that shit all the time!

I wonder if you can sue major businesses when their security policies cause undue embarrassment and emotional duress like these stupid false alarms, because if you don't enforce properly, this becomes a bullying mechanism at best.


What security systems baffle you due to their uselessness?




Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

29 June 2014

Top 10 Character Flaws That Don't Work For Me

I read once (or maybe more than once, but who's counting?) that characters are more likable when they are flawed, and to some extent, I believe this to be true. I have my favorite characters who are all flawed in many ways, but there are those characters who are beginning to pick at that last nerve. They're so cliched and I wonder why they are chosen over and over again as the favored protagonist or one of the main characters. I don't like them any more because I see them everywhere!


The Millionaire Philanderer

I don't understand this. Why is it that the guys who have money must be portrayed as weak when it comes to women in pursuit? Stop letting these women drape on you like a cheap suit! Sling them to the side and show some self-respect. This is similarly done with the rock stars toting around their posse and loyal groupie bangers. And why are they always extremely handsome? Ever see Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner? For real...




The Deep Dark Secret Sufferer

A great way to expose a flaw for a character who has a secret is for them to perform some odd behaviors like visit a secret grave on the 3rd of each month, or something equally odd. Stop giving them permission to be emotionally erratic toward others with no explanation whatsoever only to have character A tell character B, "Oh, his mother died in a freak accident back in 2010 and he's never really recovered from it. A year later his sister was ate up by some flesh-eating bacteria she got at summer camp."

Of course, this sort of thing might work in a comedic rendition of some reality shows I watch for pure entertainment.


The Damsel In Distress

I'm tired of distress getting rewarded just because it is the more attractive option to the male ego. What about the woman who refuses to be rescued and this causes a man to leave her side and ultimately results in his saving a bus load of children?

Yea, women understand sacrifice, too. We know other shit is going on out there other than ourselves. Some of us can save ourselves. We can also help save others as well. Go save yourself a puppy or something! Readers will LOVE you. I promise.





The Chip on the Shoulder

This dude needs to get out of his own way. Nobody likes this anymore! The bad guys are losing steam because there are too many of them. You know, the opposite of this flaw is the shy guy. I  love me a shy guy, too. Please let's do away with the wise-cracking assholes and invite the John Nash's into our stories, because you can't have enough of A Beautiful Mind.


The Jealous Woman

Jealousy has always been an ugly thing to me, especially in a woman. If you're going to make your character a jealous one, at least give them some redeeming quality like having them internalize it rather than going all out ninja on a bitch. I guess what I'm saying is that jealousy can make a character vulnerable, therefore likable, just don't let it shine in all its ugliness by having your character act upon her jealousies, because then it becomes completely unlikable.

A "like" plus an "unlike" kind of cancel each other out, so what's the point? Unless you're building a villain, in which case all out ninja would be just fine.





The Pained Drunkard/Addict

Sometimes this is done well and I feel bad for the character. Most times I think the character deserves what's coming to them. I'm unsympathetic to these characters. Yes, even though I drink beer and one might consider me an alcoholic for doing so, I still abhor such characters who cannot rise above their addictions.

I want to sympathize, but at the same time it's hard not to want to punch this character in the face and shout. Come on already! You have to get up and be at the courthouse first thing in the morning, you oaf. Put the vodka away for Christ's sake!


The "I  Lost My Entire Family" Victim

I know what it's like to lose a loved one. I lost my father in 1992, my mother in 2006, and my grandmother in 2009. Trust me, putting them all together at the same time doesn't make the pain worse; it makes you more an asshole trying to get a bigger reaction from your reader. How can it be even more painful? Kill the grandmother too!

Trust me tragedy is fine if you do it right. But, if done wrong, the author comes across as trying to make double and triple sure that the reader sympathizes with their character. The character is devastated. He didn't just lose his beloved wife. He lost his daughter, their two dogs, the cat, and their pet goldfish. How could you not feel horrible for this guy? STOP it!


The Washed Up Hero

This always happens in sequels or starts out the very first scene with the hero, washed up and ready to commit suicide. Don't worry! You'll soon find out why he was so miserable. Hello Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon. Loved the movie. Suicidal would be lost in translation in the written form, IMHO.

The visual is a different story though. The tears, red eyes, shaking hand with gun self-directed at his head. Don't do it! Aw, everything will be okay. Whatever it is bothering you, it will work out. It's the beginning of the movie and we have another hour and a half for things to get better. Plus, you're the star of this movie, so you can't die just yet. There, there, put the gun down.





The Arrogant Entrepreneur/Estate Owner

I just read a post today and found out that there is a romance novel "genre" (?) which caters to this situation. I believe it's called Regency Harlequins. I'll research it more and make an addendum here when I have the chance. But honestly, I don't see the draw to such a thing. There's nothing particularly romantic about having to deal with an estate. Been there, done it. It's a huge pain in the ass.


The Stubborn Rebel

The romance novels I've read years ago were not the same as they are today. The men in those books were men. Pure men. They were arrogant, not stubborn. They were righteous, not rebellious. They were businessmen, doctors, professors, and pilots. The romance was written for a different culture back then.

But, I've tried to read romances these days and I can't. It's too painful. The men are like boys. Stubborn, like when a mother tries to get her son to eat his veggies. Yeah, that kind of rebelliousness is not romantic to me. I want a man in this story, not a two year old. Dammit, I'm dating myself.





Are there character flaws that just don't work for you? Did I point out a character flaw here that you actually like and felt that I didn't do it the justice it deserves? Well, come yell at me about it! Or just leave a polite comment. :)






Smiley faceIf you enjoyed this article and would like to receive future articles in your inbox --- Subscribe to our free newsletter

Contact Diane

Name

Email *

Message *