Word of the Day - Security

Word of the Day

Security

noun
1.
freedom from danger, risk, etc.; safety.
2.
freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence.


Tim and I walked out of Walmart this evening with a handful of purchased goods and the security alarm went off. I was like, "Screw it. I'm running to the car." And I did.

I know this seems childish, but I'm tired of those things going off because some lazy cashier didn't swipe to deactivate the magnetic strip on my new PC game. That's right, it's mine. I paid for it. As definition number one states, I have the freedom from danger, risk, etc. Why? Because I have a receipt that says the product is mine. I am free from the danger of going to jail for shoplifting.

Last I checked, running is not a crime.

Walmart folks probably know they have a loose policy because human error almost always accounts for 99.9% of false alarms. So when these devices go off, nobody cares. And you know what? Nobody came after us either, and then I wondered why.

What if they had come after us? They would have checked our receipt and discovered, yet again, their security system is flawed.

Staff policy enforcer asks, "So, if you were innocent, why were you running?" 

"Because your fat ass was chasing me!"

Um, yeah. I think I did.

So why even bother to have this system in place if you're not going to run after us and check our receipts, or only do so discriminately? Sure it would be embarrassing to cause such a ruckus in the parking lot, but if you're using the alarm system as a deterrent, then you have to police a little better than this, right?

The funnier matter is watching the alarm go off on other folks who haven't gotten fed up just yet. They look around all astonished, turn back toward the store workers, hands and bags in the air hoping for assistance, and all the while, they have shock and disgrace written all over their faces.

WTF!? I paid for this shit!

A worker then walks toward the victim, who has now attracted the attention of every single person in the store, and says, "Oh, that's okay. Someone probably just forgot to swipe the security strip on a product you bought." They wave at the customer and motion for her to go ahead and leave, as if that customer had been officially detained somehow.

This is an example of the second definition of security. The store worker has the freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt; well-founded confidence. She's confident that something didn't get swiped. How so? Because, SHE forgets to do that shit all the time!

I wonder if you can sue major businesses when their security policies cause undue embarrassment and emotional duress like these stupid false alarms, because if you don't enforce properly, this becomes a bullying mechanism at best.


What security systems baffle you due to their uselessness?




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Ferret Flash Fiction - A Furry Tale

A Furry Tale, get it? Hahahaha!!

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Shogun. He was the master of all ferret sages. Shogun carried with him the wisdom of several weeks training, learning the rollover skill. He carried himself with great pride and dignity, and whenever put to task, he accepted the challenge with great poise and inner pleasure a mere human could never fathom.

I accept your challenge, you
weak human!

No challenge ever phased Shogun, and so the master human placed before the mighty Shogun a new task. Extract the pink astral sphere from the domain of The Ninja Spirit.

The hell?! Did you say
The Ninja Spirit?

Before the master of all ferrets approached the domain of The Ninja Spirit, the flying weasel sprung from her abode and pounced on the mighty sage, leaving him stunned. The Shogun, dazed and confused, leaped from the ground and gained his composure.

That's me, bitch! Let's do this...

The Ninja Spirit was half the size of Shogun, and so they each fought their battles in their own unique style. Shogun with brute force, The Ninja Spirit, light and quick. They both fought valiantly and neither waned in their determination to win. The Ninja Spirit, defending that which was rightly hers...Shogun, driven by ambition and pride while seeking the glory in the acquisition of the pink astral sphere.

It's ON now!

Showcasing my favorite drinks in this campaign for #millerlite and #tab. Love my Ninja and Shogun .
Posted by Diane Henderson Carlisle on Saturday, December 19, 2015

When the battle was over, The Ninja Spirit paused with caution, taking in shallow breaths. Still shocked at her loss, she watched on as the ferret sage extracted the pink astral sphere from her branded domain. Without her sphere, she would have to find another place to practice her skills and build on her talents.

Mine! All MINE!!

With yet another challenge mastered, Shogun's desire to return with the sphere to share his success with the master human diminished. It no longer felt like success to simply take what belonged to another. He didn't get any real satisfaction after the acquisition. In fact, he bored quickly by the knowledge he did not actually use any of his skills to achieve this goal.

I will use the transform spell
and create!!

The Shogun, via the creative mind of the writer, mastered the transform spell in only five minutes. He felt better about learning new things, but he knew it would take lots of practice to master this newly acquired skill. But, he was impatient as all hell!

"Transform into a whole bag of
chicken flavored treats!"

Being the newbie that he was at transforming, Shogun made a very shameful mistake. The first incantation of the transform spell usually backfires when seeking objects inspired by one's own greed. Instead of a bag of chicken flavored treats he'd attempted to produce, Shogun had managed to transform the pink astral sphere into a new abode for The Ninja Spirit. A very nice one, too!

The Ninja Spirit learned the transform spell
many years ago, sucker! But thanks.

THE END

The moral of this story? You can take away my spirit, but you can't replace my knowledge. Please read more ferret fun on my blog. If you enjoy my ferrets, Shogun and Ninja, as much as I enjoy sharing, leave a comment and let me know to produce more! They ask that you please like them on Facebook. :)

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7 Antagonists I Love And Why

This month's prompt at Absolute Write: 
The Number Seven

September used to be the seventh month of the old Roman calendar and its name literally means seventh "month," so this month is brought to you by 7. Write wherever the prompt inspires you, fiction or non-fiction, prose or poetry. Do try and keep things at a PG-13 level, though.

NORMAN BATES, PSYCHO - Owner of the Bates Motel. Why does this character appeal to me so much? Because, though he is a brutal murderer, we discover his quirkiness, prone to violence, is a mask for the immense guilt he possesses over murdering his own mother. He had been jealous she'd found a lover. This sort of Oedipus complex lends him a weakness which he struggles to suppress. How can you NOT find some sympathy for this character?

WHITE GOODMAN, DODGEBALL - What a despicable, low-class, egotistical prick, right? However nasty a character is, they can be totally redeemed, especially if they make you laugh your ass off. That is all. 

NURSE RATCHED, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST - What a wicked, wicked woman! Think about what she is struggling with when she insists on keeping these patients "cuckoo". Control and order is what she desperately seeks, and when her patients question her over her antics, she is taken back. We get the first glimpse into her evil mind when her authority is questioned. Let that nutty McMurphy disturb the order and look out! You're messing with her domain. She's under-handed and evil to the core, but...at least she's in control, right? How can you not love this woman?

DARTH VADER, STAR WARS - I feel for this guy. He's trying hard to maintain his power. He can order people killed and it is done. People fear him; he is the almighty Darth Vader! One problem, he can't get his own son to see his greatness. It's not evil, my son...it's the dark side. This poor guy can't get through to his son. How horrible is that for him?

TOMMY DEVITO, GOODFELLAS - He's a small guy with a really big internal wound. Don't laugh at him. Call him a bastard, whack his friend, just don't laugh at him. How hard is that? He’s loud, he’s a bully, and if you’re getting laughs at his expense, he’ll kill you. Flawed? Yes! You want him on your side if there is going to be any misunderstanding. You find yourself saying to people, "Hey, seriously, just don't look at him funny, okay?”

DR. HANNIBAL LECTER, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS - He is a cannibalistic serial killer who understands the human spirit, comes from a background which would drive anyone insane (opinion), and he'll eat your face off. What's not to like? Seriously, this character has shown compassion. He becomes a mentor to Clarice, the young, ambitious FBI agent, giving her clues which help her to find a serial killer. He later writes her a letter wishing her well. What a great man!

GOLLUM (Smeagle), THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY - You can't trust that deformed monster. He wants his Precious! He'll do anything for it. I can't help feeling pity for this character though. I want to give him the ring and wish him the best in his life as a deformed outcast. Poor thing!

So, who are your favorite antagonists and why?

Participants and posts:

orion_mk3 -  (link to this month's post)
Ralph Pines -  (link to this month's post)
bmadsen -  (link to this month's post)
writingismypassion -  (link to this month's post)
areteus -  (link to this month's post)
randi.lee - (link to this month's post)
pyrosama -  (YOU ARE HERE)

areteus -  (link to this month's post)
randi.lee -  (link to this month's post)
wonderactivist -  (link to this month's post)
BBBurke - (link to this month's post)
meowzbark -  (link to this month's post)

SuzanneSeese -  (link to this month's post)
AFord -  (link to this month's post)

Kricket -  (link to this month's post)

All About My 5th Grade Bully

by Diane Carlisle

I commented about school lunches on April Plummer's blog this past week and it got me thinking about childhood traumas, or what I call childhood dramas today. This led me to thinking about an issue which has become a huge problem today, and not only amongst children either. Bullying is becoming so widespread, or is it just getting more visibility because of social media and technological advances?

I remember the girl who bullied me when we were in 5th grade. I can envision her face as I'm writing this. When I see her, this child who must have been lashing out, but at what I couldn't begin to tell you, she is just that, a small child.

Her name was Ellen Mathews (name changed to protect her in case she’s a changed person today). She always wore a dress. She didn't wear new dresses. They were old and two sizes too big. Her hair wasn't glistening and shiny like the other black girls whose moms had obviously taken care to comb, braid and polish their hair before sending them off to school.

Ellen's hair was scary. I can only imagine that she had to do her own hair. Her braids were loosely twisted together like the hairy legs of a tarantula spider and they looked like they had a fine layer of volcanic ash dusted over them. Her skin wasn't golden, chocolaty or brown, it was an ashy black and her eyes the same. She knew I was afraid of her and I think that made things worse.

Why do I remember her so vividly? Because up until that point, I'd never been bullied in my life. Sure I'd been in arguments and fights with other kids, but being bullied is a whole different issue. I'd never felt so alone as I did when I was bullied, and that face and her demeanor, mannerisms and all, will never go away.

Such little things a person can do to terrify another person and she probably didn't realize it. Maybe someone was doing it to her, I don't know. But, how else does a child learn that kind of behavior? I mean to ball up your fist, bug out your eyes with an angry grimace and silently mouth to someone you barely know, “I’m a get you.” That doesn’t just come from a 5th grade little girl.

I remember once we were on our way to the library and she walked up next to me and started teasing me and so I sped up. Then she sped up so that we were neck and neck again. I slowed down and so did she. I was afraid and she knew it. Then she said, "I'm a beat you up when we get out the library."

I didn't say anything back, I just kept walking. My entire session at the library was spent worrying about being beat up. Ten minutes before the bell rang, she looked over and stared at me. I glanced away, but each time I looked up again, she was still staring at me and her face looked angrier and angrier. It was like the first time I'd watched The Wizard of Oz and Miss Gulch rode by on her bike during the tornado and then turned into the wicked witch of the west. I remember all I wanted to do was go home.

I felt claustrophobic. All the other children at my table seemed to be caught up in their own groups, laughing and whispering with each other, and the librarian was busy cataloguing books. It was the loneliest feeling I'd ever experienced. I should have told a teacher, but I didn't want to bother anyone with my little issue. I didn't want anyone to know I was afraid, that this little girl who was smaller than me was making me afraid.

Anyway, she beat me up like she said she would. I was shoved and pushed against another child, who got mad at me for stumbling into them and thus pushed me back into the bully. Of course, they couldn't get mad at the person responsible for pushing me into them, right? The whole time I wanted to apologize to each person I stumbled into in hopes that they'd forgive me and not join the harassment.

Of course, I didn't tell my parents because I didn't get punched in the eye or mouth, no black eye or fat lip. She didn't hit me, just lots of shoving and pushing which sort of injured my pride a bit. Then a teacher got word that there was a "fight" and Ellen and I both had to write "I will not fight in school" five hundred times each. Sad, isn't it?

The next morning I remember going into my parent's bedroom and whispering to my mother, "I don't feel good. Can I stay home from school?" The dreaded hand to my forehead to check my temperature was an indication that I'd be going to school to face my bully yet again.

This sort of thing didn't happen every day. But you just never knew when it was going to happen. How do you prepare yourself to face such a person? There was always that day when I'd show up at school and Ellen didn't. CHA-CHING!! Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, free at last! Well, at least for that one day.