The Merry Christmas Blogathon

Thank you to Maria Zannini for hosting this fun event for bloggers! We are supposed to serve up photos of our Christmas spread. However, my partial family ate out for Christmas dinner since there were only three of us. Everyone else traveled north, so it wasn't worth the trouble to make a spread, at least not of food.

Not all is lost though. I still took photos of our fun filled day. From presents to stocking surprises and family portraits, here are the Christmas day photos from our home.

The stockings were hung from our
decorated mantel.

Even the dogs and ferrets had stockings!

First Christmas tree with butterflies...
and fake snow. When does THAT ever happen?
Don't judge!

We're doing this from scratch.
I swear.

My group. I know. The gingerbread man
looks creepy as hell.

Chelsey's less creepy group. Psst! The candy cane
stripes were made with food color gel, leaving
 the cookie inedible. She gets it honestly. :)

You distract them; I'll grab the cookies!

Family portrait. Not sure what the dogs
were looking at, maybe the ferrets?

Chelsey with her new Lenovo laptop/tablet.
Now I get to reclaim my Macbook. Woot!

In the voice of Austin Powers, "Do I
look sexy? Yeah, baby!"

They don't like sexy, you turd ball.
They like cuteness. See?

Of course, the ferrets had to check out the wrapped boxes. Look what fun Santa brought them!

Post by Ninja and Shogun.

Thanks for sharing your Christmas fun on this Blogathon. I'll be enjoying all of your photos on the 29th. Can't wait!!

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Making Progress is a Humbling Experience

I was so proud of my male ferret, Shogun, when he learned this new skill. Casting rollover is a difficult lesson to learn and it took two weeks of click training, but he finally got it down to perfection. I love this kiddo!

Wait a minute, this journey isn't over yet! Soon after he mastered this new skill, Shogun became confused and did not respond appropriately to new stimuli with which he came into contact. He tried to make sense of his newly acquired skill, but nothing happened when he cast the spell again and again. Even the introduction of a plastic cup duped him...three times!

Then it hit me. Shogun takes after my sister, the new magi. Listen closely, wait for it.

For all my tech friends out there, just because you learn a new skill does not mean you necessarily understand how to use it. You must research and practice. :)

Have you learned something new and techie?  Would you like more understanding about your newly acquired skills? Ask away in the comments below and we shall be certain to enlighten.



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Ferret Flash Fiction - A Furry Tale

A Furry Tale, get it? Hahahaha!!

Once upon a time, there was a ferret named Shogun. He was the master of all ferret sages. Shogun carried with him the wisdom of several weeks training, learning the rollover skill. He carried himself with great pride and dignity, and whenever put to task, he accepted the challenge with great poise and inner pleasure a mere human could never fathom.

I accept your challenge, you
weak human!

No challenge ever phased Shogun, and so the master human placed before the mighty Shogun a new task. Extract the pink astral sphere from the domain of The Ninja Spirit.

The hell?! Did you say
The Ninja Spirit?

Before the master of all ferrets approached the domain of The Ninja Spirit, the flying weasel sprung from her abode and pounced on the mighty sage, leaving him stunned. The Shogun, dazed and confused, leaped from the ground and gained his composure.

That's me, bitch! Let's do this...

The Ninja Spirit was half the size of Shogun, and so they each fought their battles in their own unique style. Shogun with brute force, The Ninja Spirit, light and quick. They both fought valiantly and neither waned in their determination to win. The Ninja Spirit, defending that which was rightly hers...Shogun, driven by ambition and pride while seeking the glory in the acquisition of the pink astral sphere.

It's ON now!

Showcasing my favorite drinks in this campaign for #millerlite and #tab. Love my Ninja and Shogun .
Posted by Diane Henderson Carlisle on Saturday, December 19, 2015

When the battle was over, The Ninja Spirit paused with caution, taking in shallow breaths. Still shocked at her loss, she watched on as the ferret sage extracted the pink astral sphere from her branded domain. Without her sphere, she would have to find another place to practice her skills and build on her talents.

Mine! All MINE!!

With yet another challenge mastered, Shogun's desire to return with the sphere to share his success with the master human diminished. It no longer felt like success to simply take what belonged to another. He didn't get any real satisfaction after the acquisition. In fact, he bored quickly by the knowledge he did not actually use any of his skills to achieve this goal.

I will use the transform spell
and create!!

The Shogun, via the creative mind of the writer, mastered the transform spell in only five minutes. He felt better about learning new things, but he knew it would take lots of practice to master this newly acquired skill. But, he was impatient as all hell!

"Transform into a whole bag of
chicken flavored treats!"

Being the newbie that he was at transforming, Shogun made a very shameful mistake. The first incantation of the transform spell usually backfires when seeking objects inspired by one's own greed. Instead of a bag of chicken flavored treats he'd attempted to produce, Shogun had managed to transform the pink astral sphere into a new abode for The Ninja Spirit. A very nice one, too!

The Ninja Spirit learned the transform spell
many years ago, sucker! But thanks.

THE END

The moral of this story? You can take away my spirit, but you can't replace my knowledge. Please read more ferret fun on my blog. If you enjoy my ferrets, Shogun and Ninja, as much as I enjoy sharing, leave a comment and let me know to produce more! They ask that you please like them on Facebook. :)

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The Great Escape - Two If By Stove

Nobody works harder than my ferrets when trying to make an escape from the kitchen. Being that today is Labor Day, I'm devoting some time and space on my blog to salute two very rambunctious and determined babies, Ninja and Shogun, the newest additions to my family.

You might ask yourself how this can help you with your writing, or with any other aspect of your life. Watch the video and tell me if it doesn't inspire you to keep at it, no matter where you find yourself in life, career, or maybe even in a bad relationship that you're trying to turn around for the better. If these two critters can fight this hard, so can you. Happy Labor Day!

And by the way, shortly after this video was shot, Shogun, the lighter colored one, made his escape and I found him creeping around the corner in the hallway. Determination pays off I'd say.

We'll just get out when you're not home.

Always looking for some sort of weakness in the configuration of the new prison,...err, cage, Shogun is determined to find a way to escape from this Alcatraz of all ferret cages. Nothing but the best for my babies. Here is a photo of Shogun before he got himself stuck trying to escape when I reached in to replace a blanket.

Just before he tried his first
cage escape.

Shogun is happy to have his very own hammock. Prison life isn't so bad. He seems to be okay with hot pink.

Don't have a problem with pink, but
fuzzy? Really?

"Can we negotiate another hour of play time? No? Then can we dim the lights please? Maybe put a blanket over the cage so it doesn't seem like we're actually locked up?"

They're not high maintenance. Not at all!

You can say no to this face?

"Can you please keep the noise down? All that cooing and staring at me is creeping me out. Stalk much?"

By the way, I'm a big deal. A really big deal.

Good night!

60 to 0 in one blog post!

Now, get back to work! But first, you have to tell me what you're working on.  =) Go get coffee. I'll wait. Leave a comment.




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Battling Constructive Criticism - Ferret Style

Scholarly ferret has answers.

There are many things we'll hear from critique partners during our writing journeys. I've heard them about my stories and you'll hear them about yours, if you haven't already. These words are hurtful when you first hear them. After all, writing fiction is an art form and the creative soul cannot be judged, for art has value only to the artist. But if you want to sell your art, you are opening yourself up to scrutiny, right?

I encountered such criticisms in one of my first creative writing classes and I can tell you my reaction wasn't pretty. I'd spent almost $400.00 to take this class and I had better not hear anything but how great my writing is and how wonderful my story.

That didn't happen, unfortunately. I heard many things, and I'm about to share them with you. Trust me, I was steaming mad. The vulgar gestures I produced after having read the "constructive criticisms" of my classmates, went largely unnoticed, mainly because it was an online class and my computer shielded me from the rest of the group.


Q: Whose story is this?

A: What the hell are you talking about? It's my story, bitch!

Just kidding. When I was first asked this question, I wasn't sure what folks were talking about. I've introduced three characters already, so obviously it's about "at least" three characters, right?  ...right?

Confused ferret asks question.

It's their way of saying that they believe a story should have one main character and that character should have a story all about them and their journey. Fine and dandy! I get it. For new writers, maybe it's smart to stick to this "template" but seriously, there's more than one way to write a story folks.


Q: What is the main goal of your character?

A: Shouldn't you read more than the first chapter before you ask that question?

This is no joke. Why do you have to know the goal of my character when you start reading the story? Do you want to know the goal in the first chapter so you can then decide whether or not to buy the book? Is more than 15 minutes of reading in Barnes & Noble too much time to waste deciding whether or not the goal of my character is important enough to fork out $5.99? Read the back cover!

Angry ferret's favorite acronym RTFM

Okay, so the goal of my character is to travel to China, unlock the mystery behind the ancient Chinese secret, and rescue the world. Tada! End of story in only one chapter. Chapter Two: Does the Character Meet Her Goal?


Q: Do you expect us to believe your character actually drove off that cliff and survived?

A: It's fiction! 

The answer to this question is obvious. No, I don't expect you to believe it because it didn't happen for real. It happened in my story, and my story is fiction. If you do the same things my characters do and think you'll get away with it, then you deserve to die! Much like the Mountain Man.

Ferret wants you to chill.

Q: Couldn't you change it to read more like "blah blah blah blah blah, "blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?"

A: No, because then it would be YOUR story, not mine.

Writers are so funny when we critique other work. We all do it, but let's be honest. When we like something, we always want a crack at it to see if our version will sound better, look better, smell better, or taste better. Just like chefs, there's always a twist to make it better. Just remember, it's my food you are sampling. If you like it, get the basic recipe. You can always add your twist to it in your own kitchen, when you make your version.

Ninja ferret is not happy!

Q: Why is there so much head-hopping going on here?

A: What the hell is head-hopping?

I seriously did not understand this whole concept of head-hopping. It made me angry for so many people to tell me I was doing this when I didn't even know what it meant. In the voice of a whiny, little brat, "How does Jane know that John is feeling sad? She's not privy to his thoughts."

Can you guess ferret thoughts?

Um, I'm the author writing the story. Jane doesn't need to know that John is sad. I'm telling you he's sad! I know he's sad and because I know he's sad, Jane knows he's sad, and now so do you! Now shut up and read the rest of my story.


Do you recall any criticisms which made you feel immediately defensive about your writing? Please share!



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Writing Inspiration Comes in Many Forms

Don't call me crazy, but I was a bit depressed this past weekend. I wanted to write something so desperately and my brain wouldn't work. As a matter of fact, it worked against me!

Tim asked me why I was being so quiet and I didn't have an answer. He knew I'd had writer's block for the past month and the concern on his face was quite touching, so I blurted it out, "I want a ferret!"

He had this WTF look on his face, but I pressed on, "They're like cats and you can litter train them."

"They smell."

"No they don't."

"They do!"

"Let's go to Carol's Critters. I'll call them and see if they have any. I just want to look at one. You'll see how cute they are and you'll agree that we should get one."

Turned out they did have one and when we arrived at the store, there she was, resting in a hammock suspended from the top of a 90 gallon aquarium tank.

What a coincidence! I have a 90 gallon tank at home taking up room in the garage. Three years of maintaining a salt water fish tank had done it for me, but I knew I would eventually use the tank for something else.

She was a cutie, too! The ferret. The only problem? She was already 9 months old and not litter trained.

Also, I didn't have a lid that would support a hammock suspension system like the one in the store, which is something I would have to get because you can't have a ferret and not add that level of cuteness. No way.

I handed Carol my business card and asked her to please call me when she had new arrivals of baby ferrets and I would return. I couldn't help but notice Tim looked mighty pleased that we were leaving without the ferret. He knows me too well. I'm the compulsive buyer. Give it a week and I'd forget all about the ferret.

Back to my deep thoughts and sadness...and writer's block.

Today was my flex day, so I came home from work and found Tim in the driveway building something. It couldn't be! He had started working on the lid to my future home for Mo and Bo!

"What do you mean Mo and Bo?" he asked.

I must have said that out loud.

"Well, remember, Carol had said that ferrets come into the store in pairs of two. You can't just separate baby animals when they've been cuddling together all the way to their new destination. That would be cruel. Maybe even traumatizing!"

I'm so excited. The inspiration to write hit me instantly and so here it is. Now that I'm done telling you all about my new future ferrets, Mo and Bo, I must go thank my wonderful husband.

Wait, why is he staring at me like that?



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