A New Member of My Family - Welcome Macey!

Hello Blogosphere!

I'm so excited to introduce a new member of my family today. But first, I want to acknowledge the end of a very divisive and painful election season.

To some, today is a day of somberness, maybe even despair. To others, it's a day of reckoning and joy.  But either way, it is the first day of another chapter in America. The days leading up to my decision to find Macey were filled with the anxiety of possibly losing America in an election that would make history like no other event in the world. We had the option to choose someone who served 30 years in public office, leading a campaign on steadiness and unity. We also had the option to choose a business man who never held office a day in his life, leading a campaign on cleaning up Washington and rebuilding America. I so wanted change and I was afraid it would not happen. I did my part. I voted.

No matter who you voted for in this election, you remain and will always be my American partners. We are in this thing together, as we were with all Presidents of the past. We will see what unfolds in our future, but I have trust in our political system and I believe hope is around the corner.

With the looming election weighing heavy on my shoulders, I scoured the Internet in search of the one who could make me feel confident and content with my choice, no matter the outcome of the election. When I saw her, I knew she belonged to me.

We had a few names to consider. Those names were carefully bounced back and forth between me and Charles. In contention, Baxter, Dallas, Bella, and Stormy rolled off our tongues.

Looks like a Bella here.

Definitely Dallas.

Stormy is so contrasting to this level of calm.

Baxter is so noble!

In the end, and during the hours that unfolded on election day, I settled on Macey. From the baby names site, and I quote:

People with this name tend to be quiet, cooperative, considerate, sympathetic to others, adaptable, balanced and sometimes shy. They are trustworthy, respecting the confidences of others, and make excellent diplomats, mediators and partners. They are often very intuitive. They like detail and order, and often find change worrisome. They may sometimes feel insecure or restless.

I think in these tumultuous times, I need something like this in my life, and Macey appears in all instances capable of bringing a balance into this family and into my world. What do you think? Comment below!

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My 3 Ups Blog Hop Challenge

I am participating in Randi Lee's 3 Ups Blog Hop today. My blogger friend whom I get to write about today is Elise Fallson. 

There is much clean fun and a fresh voice at Elise's blog and R is for Rumpology is a blast! So much tongue in cheek humor, I couldn't hide from co-workers the fact I was reading non-work related material. 

Elise has a down to earth, matter of fact style of writing which sounds much like talking to someone face to face. This is a blog you want to sit down in front of and read first thing in the morning with a nice hot cup of hot chocolate.

Her sample fiction is not to be missed either. The writing is tight and immediate, with great sensory descriptions which put you in the scene. Thanks for contributing your humor and wit to the Blog-o-Sphere, Elise. And thank you for sharing your work out here with all of us.

The 3 things I love most:

1. Her humor and wit

Ever read material that made you feel like you weren't reading at all? You just experience pure entertainment. That's what you get when you visit Elise's blog.

2. Her writing style and balance

She understands white space! White space is necessary so the reader doesn't feel claustrophobic when reading your material and Elise gets it. Her blog is beautifully balanced and super easy to read on top of all the wit and humor.

3. Her font size is perfect

There's one thing I always appreciate and that's a good font size. There is a reason why you will stay and read on this blog, not just the humor, wit, and an A+ on balance, Elise has chosen a perfect font which will reach a satisfaction level for a wide range audience. Thank you, Elise!

And now, I'm signing off with an Elise quote from one of her blog entries:

"Have a great weekend everyone, hope it's filled with vampire-nuclear-killer rabbits with happy colons." --in case you missed crackmeupology. 

My Protagonist Cooks For You

Today, Kelly Cooper, the protagonist of my future novel, Precinct 9, will share with you one of her favorite recipes.  

Kelly is a police sergeant caught up in the mining of data from various internet sites and producing information that draws similarities between two unrelated cold cases. Just as she begins to place the final pieces of the puzzle together to reveal a serial killer, she becomes engaged in a heated verbal altercation with her ex-boss over a scandal beyond her control. 

When the ex-boss is murdered and Kelly's gun goes missing, she is declared a person of interest and placed on administrative leave. The gloves are off. 

With a serial killer on the loose and her life on the line, Kelly must do everything she can to clear herself of any wrong-doing, and find a way to complete the puzzle, all while operating outside the limits of the law.

Take it away, Kelly!

While Diane figures out how I’ll piece together that puzzle, let us see if I can’t piece together for you,  this recipe of lightly crusted pork medallions. 

You will need the following ingredients:

1 roll of center cut pork tenderloin

½ cup of all-purpose flour

1 egg

Salt and pepper to taste

Cut the pork loin into equal slices about a half-inch thick. Salt and pepper them to your desired taste and soak them in egg batter for 10 minutes, then lightly dust them with flour. Let them set while you fire up the deep fryer.

Fry them at 375 degrees for exactly 5 minutes. Use whatever method you want to drain the excess fat. I put them on paper towels and let them set for a couple of minutes. 

A serving size is 3 medallions. Plate them with country fried potatoes and buttered asparagus. The recipe for the potatoes has to come from mother. She never shared that one. 

I hope you try this dish. It’s fantabulous! 

Now, I have a serial killer to find. Ah, a computer!

Coming Soon: New Blog Author

In order to keep a steady flow of updates at Are We There Yet? I've invited a new author to join the site. I'll keep it a secret until she writes her first post. I know it's customary to introduce new folks, but I'm not the customary type. I'd rather allow her to make an entrance.

So, I will let you know a little about the new person, though her biography and writing career will be announced and linked in her first post.

She is a former journalist of 13 years with an MFA in Creative Writing. I'm super excited to have her join the blog and offer up valuable tips for our readers. I know we can't get enough opinions about writing and craft, so stick around to find out what's in store!

I will still be posting on a regular basis: Snarky, Gangnum Style!

Talk to you soon.

Characters Who Won't Leave

Ever had characters stuck in your head who never go away? I do, and I can't get rid of them. I will never write a story about them. They do not belong in anything I am currently working on where I can insert them as secondary characters. So, why won't they leave me alone?

When I hear one speak to me, I will at least give him a name so he will shut up and stop disturbing my thoughts. Another chimes in with her toothy grin and I tell her to go away. She laughs, slapping her knee like I'd made some funny ass comment. I give her a name and ask her to leave. She refuses.

This is my last effort to get these demons to find a home elsewhere. The only way I can get them to shut up and leave me alone is to write about them. I'm giving you short, sweet blurbs to introduce them and all their obnoxious, narcissistic drama.

Cleavis Johnson works at the local marina. He operates the boat-lift  and when boats are not docking after a long day at sea, Cleavis sits on the wooden benches outside the storefront, waiting for the next vessel to approach. He'll smoke his pipe, his fat fingers almost covering the entire bowl. Cleavis is a big man and when he talks, his lips barely touch, probably in order to accommodate his oversized teeth. Even though I have no place for him, he continues to smoke his pipe and talk about all kinds of things which have nothing to do with me or my novel.

Betty Pickerton lost her two front teeth in a bar fight when she was 22 years old. She couldn't afford dental work, but once she turned 30 she didn't care anymore. She had already landed a life-long mate, Johnny Ray. Johnny died in a hunting accident two weeks before they were fixing to get hitched. Now she's 52 years old and guards her 12 x 55 trailer with a sawed off shotgun to keep out the riff raff. When there is a demand for Deliverance, The Reunion, I will consider a spot for you, Betty.

Chesney James dropped out of high school to take care of her alcoholic mother. When she's not decked out in studded, black leather with her hair gelled into five equal spikes, she's holed up in her room cutting on herself. She threatens to take her life if I don't write about her. So, here it is, I'm writing about her. Now, Chesney, I don't write emo stories, so please, please, PLEASE, shut it!

Carrie Chiles works at the Foxy Lady Lounge as a dancer. She won't turn down a good offer when solicited during private sessions in the back. What she does after working hours is her business, literally. She has this notion that if I write about all her sordid deeds, I could make a crap-load of money from all the horny housewives who purchased copies of 50 Shades of Gray. Carrie, I do not write erotica. And even if I did, I don't do sloppy seconds.

Who are some of the characters that disturb your thoughts while you are crafting your novel? Why do you think they are there and what do you think they are looking for?

Why Guys Really Are From Mars

by Diane Carlisle

Going on 25 years of marriage, I was thinking back to the times before we were married and it made me wonder why I considered marriage at such a young age. Not only was my husband the same handsome man he is today, but he was a miracle after having endured a few years dealing with men who really were from Mars. How did he approach me and ask me out?

"What time do you get off work?"

"Two o'clock."

"Can I buy you breakfast?"

"I'd like that."


I found out later that he needed to be up at 6:00 in the morning to make it into work on time. I didn’t learn about that during the date; it was much later into our relationship, when he was comfortable enough that I would realize it didn’t matter.


See how simple that was? There's nothing fake, no non-sense, and none of this hidden agenda and side stepping. There were just a few simple questions and a little bit of confidence and genuine feeling. That's all it took.


However, before my lovely husband came along and swept me up with his no non-sense swag, there were 5 truly remarkable approaches made toward me that deserved a rejection. I wasn't really equipped at the time to respond to these really bizarre approaches, but I can respond to them today. Here they are. Each approach now has a title and my official answer!


The Jail Bait

"My ex-girlfriend works at the Foxy Lady. Will you go there with me tonight so I can make her jealous?"

Um, sure. I always wanted to go to a strip club and get beat up by an angry, naked girl and end up in jail for sexual assault because I accidentally touched her boob while defending myself.


The Little Black Book

"Can I get your phone number in case I want to ask you out sometime?"

The priorities are all wrong here. Ask me out on a date first, then get the phone number. Okay?


The Fan Club

Rolling a joint, "Some friends and I are hanging out at the Mullet Festival this weekend. Want to tag along?"

The Mullet Festival is not a stage, you are not a rock star and I am not your groupie.


The Look At Me Now

He gloriously fans out 10 twenty dollar bills and says, "Would you sleep with me now?"

You had a better chance before.


The Self Fullfilling Prophecy

"I was going to ask you out, but you're not really my type."

I was going to say no, but you never really asked me out.


There was a Dilbert cartoon that came out this week featuring “The Topper”. In the name of my favorite cartoon, can any of you top these? Please tell me your story and give me your answers you weren’t able to provide in the heat of the moment!

Classroom Introductions Are Stupid

by Diane Carlisle


I've always heard that fear of public speaking is the number one fear for 90% of people, a higher percentage than that of those who fear death. Wow, that's something. But that in itself makes me the more curious about this phenomenon. Let's dissect the very simplest form of public speaking, the classroom introduction.

I hate it when the instructor tells the class about himself, or herself, and then asks each student, when it's their turn, to stand up and tell a little about themselves, starting with their name. UGH!! Again? I just did that in the last class! Why do professors require this sort of thing? Is this a teaching tool that they learn at University to get the classroom under control by elevating themselves and blathering on about their own background and why it is they came to be here before us today?

I'm thinking, "Good, I'm not in the front row this time, so I won't be going first. I'll get to hear what everyone else has to say and then I won't feel so bad after they all reveal how absolutely boring they are in their everyday lives." Of course, it never turns out that way. There's always the Director over some huge operation in the Gulf or a Naval Officer working on his Master's degree while taking a break from his annual hiking expedition.

So what can I say now? My nerves are in a bunch already, but now I have to reveal that I'm a software developer who loves to play online, roleplaying games as well as 1st person shooters, and I like to write about fictional characters who commit heinous crimes, including the dismemberment of a college professor who asked his students to introduce themselves.

I stand, take a deep breath, and clear my throat, "My name is Diane Carlisle and I'm a software developer." I sit down.

< crickets chirping >

You would think I just blurted out that I was an alcoholic. I take out my iPhone and make like I'm busy.

"That's interesting, Ms. Carlisle. Do you have any hobbies?" Ah, the ole you won't get away with that in my classroom tactic.

I look up. "No, I don't." Back to my iPhone.

"So, what do you expect to gain from this class?"

I want to say an "A" but decide that would be rude. See what public speaking does to people? That's not me at all. Why does this happen? Normally, I'm fine with talking in front of a group of people and being the center of attention when I have something which I care to share, like a software product I created. So why is an introduction of myself so off putting? Why do I feel so at odds when asked to tell a little about myself?

I don't like to blather on about who I am (at least not in a public forum such as a classroom) because I'm a rather humble person. Once I'm done with the class, it's time to move on. Nobody is going to care about what I do or who I am 8 weeks from now when this class is over, so why are we wasting time and energy going through it? I hate being redundant. Can't we just exchange business cards? Here, take one...my blog address is printed on there and I wrote a "little" about myself on a page labeled "About Me". Stop by and comment sometime.

So, are you ever anxious about public speaking? If so, why?