Making Progress by Letting Go

Sorry to have been MIA lately. I've been dealing with so much at work, at school, and at home. I still don't know why I've not been here on my blog with you guys, despite my situation. This is the place I come when I need to get things off my chest, these days more like expunged from my heart.

I've been contemplating clearing out some items from my home to quell my OCD. There are things that are taking up room and I don't know how to remove them, or even if it's okay to remove them. Every book I pick up that Tim read and every piece of clothing I consider placing into the discard pile makes my throat constrict and I give up.

How do I get rid of books that he read, knowing that I could read those same books one day and by reading the same words he'd once read, I might feel connected to him once again? It starts this panic attack and I don't know what to do, so I put them back on the shelf or in a different pile labeled keep.

Other than books?

What if I delete the last voicemail he left on my phone without listening to it one more time?

Is it okay to delete 3 years worth of text messages, including the very last words he wrote?

Everything seems to have a memory, and to get rid of anything feels like a loss all over again. Even though I know it needs to be done, is there ever a right time?




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Communicating with Truth and Transparency

Just some thoughts on my latest ideas on making progress in this world of communications. I'm dealing with topics of genuine concern and authentic desires within me to change the mindset out in the media world today. We need more communicators who care about the human spirit. I wish companies would stop with marketing gimmicks and give us what we truly want, not what they want us to have or the only thing they have to offer in order to make that buck.

The part of being real to your audience is sharing truth and you do that by being transparent and sharing parts of you that may not be considered desirable traits to others, but they make you who you are. Granted, not everyone needs to be out there sharing their truth. I get that. LORD! ...help me I've seen enough.

Part of my writing journey has been in finding ways to open up and share who I am: the good, the bad, and the ugly. I do this so that I can experience the freedom I need to be able to write uninhibited.

If you've ever heard people talk about reading something that rings true, it's because the author has no reservations about what they are writing. Some people attribute that truth as having come from an author who is "writing what they know" and that's not necessarily the case. They are writing, uninhibited, and therefore the genuine intent of what they write shines through. How else can a science fiction writer make something up, which doesn't exist, and sell it to their audience?

One of the most important aspects of studying communications is gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to be truthful in your communications. Most people only want to deliver messages which make them look good. They don't want to communicate those things which might invite criticism. That's understandable, and communication full on isn't for everyone.

Not many people can freely express themselves, the good and the bad. Because not all people can face criticism without completely falling apart. The thing that communications majors learn about and study in great detail is how to deliver a message truthfully. Truth is good. If you have a moral compass, use it and you will be invincible! Or, you might be looking for another job, but sleep well at night.

While the rest of the world is out there building a persona and delivering great things about themselves, a communication major is learning how to make the face of organizations into human beings again, communicating on a level to deliver genuine brands which people can relate to and find attractive because truth is attractive. A marketing gimmick which turns out to be a big fat hoax is not attractive. Matter of fact, it pisses us off.

We are all human. We deal with positives and negatives in our lives. We communicate truthfully to the human spirit because we've shed our fears in order to do our jobs, and then we wonder, in that moment, why it is that we ever feared criticism for being human ourselves.

Are you an inhibited communicator, or do you deliver the truth?




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Some WTF Moments Traveling to DC

I've been remiss in not posting the photos from last weekend where I spent my time with friends who participated in this year's Marine Corps Marathon. My trip started last Thursday when I bumped into my friend Yvette at the Tallahassee airport. I was like WTF are you doing here? And she was like, no wait...WTF are YOU doing here?

Turns out we were both traveling. She was going to Texas, and I was going to D.C. Funniest thing ever? We were both on the same flight to Tampa where Yvette had a 2 hour lay over, and I had a 4 hour lay over. Is there a better way to spend time with a friend than getting our buzz on before noon?

Drinking Mai Tais & Strawberry Martinis

Okay, so enough of that shit. Eventually, we said our goodbyes, Yvette took off to Texas, and I popped another Oxy in preparation for my flight into D.C. where I would eventually meet up with my other pals from Tallahassee, the ones who were all running as part of team Tim Carlisle, in honor of my late husband. Yes, you should visit the link and see how much his friends raised for their charity, Semper Fi Fund. Here's a video outside the Smithsonian's American History Museum.

Team Tim Carlisle and their families celebrate
after the run on Sunday.

My friends, Lisa and Robert Roddy

Tim's buddy, Garrick. Responsible
for creating the team and raising over
$11,000.00 of their $10,000.00 goal!

Despite the long trip, parts of which I can't even explain (like the 50 foot drop the plane took during a bout of turbulence), I had some "me" moments where I was able to reflect on the past and even ruminate on my future a bit. Where I'd once had fears of eating alone in a restaurant, I was forced to do so while experiencing my first encounter with Vietnamese cuisine. I ordered this stuff called Pho.

When this came, I was like, "Okay, I get it."
Pho fuck's sake! Where's the rest of my food!!

I soon discovered that wasn't all there was to my order. That's just the nasty stuff you're supposed to use to make your meal look more enticing. Wait for it....

Yeah, that's meat floating inside the
soup bowl. It's like some kind of beef
brisket, floating around in hot soup.
I'm not kidding. LOOK at it!

Did I eat it? Yes. I was hungry. Despite the fact that I'm only 5'3" weighing in at 115 pounds, I still do require some sustenance. No worries either, I did not skimp on my caloric intake.

Less calories than an entire bowl
of Fettuccine Alfredo

Nestle Dibs wasn't the only thing I consumed during my alone time. I walked to the local 7 Eleven (yes they still have those in D.C.) and picked up a sugar free Red Bull to drink on my way back to my room, though I did pass a crowd of Mexicans hovered over what looked to be a scratch off lottery ticket.

This is true. I experienced it, so don't call me a racist. I can't help it they were Mexican. I really wish they had been Asian so that I could say they were Asians. But, if they were Asian, they'd have been taking pictures of each other standing in front of the local 7 Eleven and maybe holding up a sugar free Red Bull.

Life's too short not to enjoy one of these.
I bought the sunglasses at the 7 Eleven, too.
Classy? Maybe more like classic.

So anyway, my trip to D.C. was just another journey on my path to making progress. I'm doing me, and me says it's time to celebrate the meaning of life, try new things, experience the freedom of being you, and take an Oxy 45 minutes before you get on an airplane.

Cheers!

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