05 February 2014

An Audio Book Disaster

I'm not usually harsh on authors who have topped the Best Seller lists in the past, but I just finished Still Life With Crows by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. I just finished CD number 4 of 13 in this audio book narrated by Scott Brick and I plan to return them to the library, unfinished.

I can't even push myself to listen to the rest. My O.C.D. is even saying, "Oh, no girl, I'm not going to make you finish it either."

Was it bad? No, not particularly. The writing is fine and the characters are okay. I didn't have any problems staying in the story, but this was only my 2nd audio book ever and I feel like I'm not giving the narrator a chance. Well, I know I'm not giving him a chance because I'm returning it without having finished the story, right?

Things that annoyed me with the narration and the story:

1. Just because a story takes place in the South or Midwest, doesn't mean you have to narrate in a slow southern drawl, good GAWD!

2. The dialogue coming from FBI Special Agent Pendergast: a southern drawl for a stoic character sounds ridiculous.

3. There were too many non-consequential characters.

4. The cover made it look like a horror story and this blurb makes it sound the same. Correct me if I'm wrong.

A small Kansas town has turned into a killing ground.
Is it a serial killer, a man with the need to destroy?
Or is it a darker force, a curse upon the land?
Amid golden cornfields, FBI Special Agent Pendergast discovers evil in the blood of America's heartland.
No one is safe.

5. I got to chapter 17 and nothing scary happened. Only the discovery of a dead human body and a dead dog. As a matter of fact, I was bored on top of being annoyed with the narration, and I still don't know what genre this is.

Did I mention I got bored?

Anyway, I feel badly for this feedback, but I'm glad I didn't spend the money to purchase the audio book. I would be highly pissed at myself. With my time freed up from that painful mess, I get to begin listening to Fool by Christopher Moore. It sounds promising as the narrator has an English accent. This is the quote that made me check it out:

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.

Sounds like my kind of audio book. We shall see!

Have you ever listened to a book and just couldn't give the narrator a chance to finish? Tell me the title so I don't make another mistake!

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