21 January 2011

Top 10 Ideas That Are Teh Ghey

10. Approving budgets that include a 50% boost in executive salaries and 0 dollars toward marketing strategies. BP is experiencing the reverse of this right now.



9. Logging into a server where everyone can crack a cheat and level up to the max to see who haz the better skillz. What's the point in experiencing the journey, right?



8. Making Snookie a super star. Why is it so hard to ignore stupid people? We want to make them famous instead. The quickest way to get money back into the economy is to make stupid people rich right? Well, they're the only ones spending money and there's less of them, so that theory isn't smart. Why are they the only ones spending money? BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS AT HOME, WATCHING THEIR STUPID SHOWS AND ADDING TO THE RATINGS THAT ARE MAKING STUPID PEOPLE FAMOUS!!!



7. Giving military discounts to ACTIVE DUTY ONLY personnel. Really? Are you going to turn down a double amputee in a wheel chair who fought in WWII just because his military I.D. reads "retired"? Please tell me you didn't just give that discount to a woman who is separated from her active duty husband (and refuses to get a divorce so that she can secure that active duty military I.D. card) and said husband has managed to avoid combat for the past 10 years despite America having been involved in two major wars!



6. Marriage is just a piece of paper. Really? It's funny what a piece of paper can do. My friend cheated on her husband, never worked a day in her life, took half of everything they owned AND took half of his military pension. Strong piece of paper I'd say.


5. Love is blind. No it's not. Life is just more tolerable when you have someone else with whom to share it. Only 5% of the population is attractive. The rest of us know our flaws. Love is accepting each other's flaws and being grateful that we're each willing to spend our lives together despite them. It's not like we look at each other and see Ken and Barbie! You don't love someone so much that you overlook his or her huge honker of a nose and see a pretty little button one instead, okay.



4. Composing a song that literally spells out something...think "Y.M.C.A." and "Living in the c-i-t-y". Seriously?



3. Donnie and Marie.



2. No need to learn spelling rules. We have spell-check in our word processing software. Okay, than tell me why their are mistakes in this hear sentence that will not be picked up by you're spellchecker.



1. The early bird gets the worm. So? We are not birds and I do not particularly like worms, raw or cooked. Now leave me alone and let me get back to sleep!


Signed,
Teh Ghey Analyst - Why? Because posting a Top 10 list is pretty teh ghey in and of itself. :)

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