tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post3636844138727546030..comments2024-03-23T04:19:04.366-04:00Comments on Are we there yet?: M is for a Manuscript SnippetAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-8237777784227202902013-03-15T08:40:39.073-04:002013-03-15T08:40:39.073-04:00Thanks Jessie. Ah yes, to romance or not to romanc...Thanks Jessie. Ah yes, to romance or not to romance. Thanks for your feedback!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-23069391476845335182013-03-15T06:53:14.931-04:002013-03-15T06:53:14.931-04:00This is fresh and grabs me! I like it! Thanks for ...This is fresh and grabs me! I like it! Thanks for your comment on my guest post over at Carissa Taylor's blog about YA romance. Jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16875357973326567947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-74929439094094088122013-03-14T20:01:47.287-04:002013-03-14T20:01:47.287-04:00Okay! When I finish it (might be 10 years), I'...Okay! When I finish it (might be 10 years), I'll hold you to it. :D<br /><br />I really am striving to finish this one. Thank you for the feedback.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-89754425560847886542013-03-14T19:53:59.562-04:002013-03-14T19:53:59.562-04:00It gets into her head, even with the details, whic...It gets into her head, even with the details, which are essential for the moment. And given her reaction, it establishes her to us as a righteous cop. I'd keep reading!William Kendallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331324250821836822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-47714583095895691682013-03-08T15:18:02.552-05:002013-03-08T15:18:02.552-05:00Thanks! My husband encouraged me to introduce the ...Thanks! My husband encouraged me to introduce the camera's flash. I didn't originally have it in there, but I like that part the most.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-11620014968672832282013-03-08T15:03:09.819-05:002013-03-08T15:03:09.819-05:00Wow, very vivid and strong writing! Totally instil...Wow, very vivid and strong writing! Totally instills the real gut-wrenching of watching an autopsy!Meradeth Houstonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06741790047121063893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-32859627592262199702013-03-08T13:38:44.731-05:002013-03-08T13:38:44.731-05:00Thank you so much, Sara. I use this sort of feedba...Thank you so much, Sara. I use this sort of feedback while editing. Both points you make are sound and I would definitely address them. I too felt a little uncomfortable with "subject's legs" and will be rewording in my revision. <br /><br />Lyle will eventually become an antagonist, so Kelly's observations of him are merely foreshadowing at the moment. I think I should just describe his demeanor and not refer to him as a monster (just yet). You've brought something to my attention. I am jumping ahead of myself here.<br /><br />Thanks so much for your detailed observations. They are much appreciated! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-3007380941770975582013-03-08T13:19:45.284-05:002013-03-08T13:19:45.284-05:00First of all, I think this scene was well written....First of all, I think this scene was well written. I would enjoy reading more. Then again, this the genre of books I tend to read anyway. I love mysteries and enjoy the forensic ones very much. <br /><br />I imagine some people might struggle with the details, but they are necessary in the kind of book you're writing. If the story is good, I don't dwell on the graphic stuff...it simply lets me understand the character investigating the crime.<br /><br />Two small things stood out: The use of the words "subject's legs" seemed almost too cold, given she names the woman right after that. I realize it shows Kelly's need for distance, but you remind me of that in the next part where she says "Corpse. It's just a corpse."<br /><br />The other item confused me: "Lyle made his way to the other side of the table. His unaffected, emotionless expression and his professional demeanor made him a monster for the moment..." I didn't understand why he was the "monster of the moment." He seemed professional to me...is this something related to another part of the story? <br /><br />It's hard when I read just one scene of a story because I really don't know the characters well enough to understand how their actions fit in the storyline. Take this into account with my feedback.<br /><br />Overall, it sounds just like a book I would pick to read:~)Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15995684156785464334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-60335076344373962112013-03-05T17:09:32.358-05:002013-03-05T17:09:32.358-05:00Wow, thank you Eve! Definitely a gruesome tale and...Wow, thank you Eve! Definitely a gruesome tale and not for everyone. I'm going to try and tackle a romance next. ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-44902813933291379842013-03-05T17:01:09.655-05:002013-03-05T17:01:09.655-05:00Honestly Diane, I would if I liked gruesome tales-...Honestly Diane, I would if I liked gruesome tales--which by the way you are a master of....I think you will be a screenwriter for Hollywood if you aren't already. Intangible Heartshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05047040538015079182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-71073277693585137172013-03-05T15:21:10.631-05:002013-03-05T15:21:10.631-05:00And that means a lot coming from my more sinister-...And that means a lot coming from my more sinister-loving blogging colleagues. :)<br /><br />Thank you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-34545249711158678332013-03-05T15:09:35.070-05:002013-03-05T15:09:35.070-05:00That was awesome! I so want to read more. That was awesome! I so want to read more. Auden Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13484527377996130004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-67457061198680401512013-03-05T11:13:53.033-05:002013-03-05T11:13:53.033-05:00/Happily volunteers :D /Happily volunteers :D randi leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14207001299508931034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-62705993108732445102013-03-05T08:02:45.484-05:002013-03-05T08:02:45.484-05:00Thanks, randi! When I finally finish, I may have t...Thanks, randi! When I finally finish, I may have to enlist you as my beta reader. :DAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-62646073870638501362013-03-05T07:45:14.480-05:002013-03-05T07:45:14.480-05:00Diane-- the line "Is that what she'd beco...Diane-- the line "Is that what she'd become?" is such a simple one...but I found it so incredibly powerful for your character and showed so much about her and her personality.<br /><br />This is a very well written piece! There's a distinct quality to your voice--it holds a sort of 'even tempo' that keeps your working flowing and propelling forward. I especially enjoyed the imagery, which was not only unique (you, know, none of that "he sighed sadly" "she cried sadly" "he nodded sadly" "she huffed sadly")but placed me right into the moment with your characters.<br /><br />This is very intriguing and grips me from the beginning. I'd love to read more!!! randi leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14207001299508931034noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-1719256958805153362013-03-04T09:17:36.447-05:002013-03-04T09:17:36.447-05:00I had to watch a drowned body being prepared for f...I had to watch a drowned body being prepared for flight to another city once. I was horrified. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-36960953201886541692013-03-04T08:57:09.634-05:002013-03-04T08:57:09.634-05:00I can identify with Kelly, and not just because I ...I can identify with Kelly, and not just because I have the same name. I wouldn't want to witnessed a body being sewn either!Kelly Hashwayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13936313159809041986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-53257953695456171572013-03-04T07:37:56.526-05:002013-03-04T07:37:56.526-05:00Thanks for the feedback! I've discovered the s...Thanks for the feedback! I've discovered the secret to motivating myself to write the next chapter, and that is to share a little bit of what I already have. The feedback is much appreciated. <br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-58623645696447259582013-03-04T07:33:46.355-05:002013-03-04T07:33:46.355-05:00Love what you came up with for 'M' and enj...Love what you came up with for 'M' and enjoyed the post.LM Prestonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16624508396760965680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-74104547636296633112013-03-03T18:40:03.793-05:002013-03-03T18:40:03.793-05:00I have the same feeling every time I share a piece...I have the same feeling every time I share a piece of my work. It's always exciting.Ida https://www.blogger.com/profile/11147292645496131773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-21547893049145279812013-03-03T18:35:02.113-05:002013-03-03T18:35:02.113-05:00That's good to know! I was sweating the sharin...That's good to know! I was sweating the sharing of it, but I had to ask the question at the end, which I was sweating more. lolAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901684621715980573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4351235520870325177.post-26274742157161396262013-03-03T18:28:07.660-05:002013-03-03T18:28:07.660-05:00Yes I would! I love crime fiction, and this excerp...Yes I would! I love crime fiction, and this excerpt is really nice. Ida https://www.blogger.com/profile/11147292645496131773noreply@blogger.com